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  • City Slang: Diana Ross to open Freedom Hill season

    Motown legend Diana Ross will open up the Freedom Hill season on Friday, June 13. “We’re thrilled to have one of the greatest Motown singers of all time, Diana Ross, open our facility this season,” said Tom Celani, Owner of Luna Hillside, LLC. “We continue to bring big name talent to our venue and know fans will have a memorable time at this concert and throughout the 2014 season. A press release reads, “Born and raised in Detroit, Ross rose to fame as a founding member and lead singer of the renowned vocal group The Supremes, which, during the 1960s, became Motown’s most successful act and is to this day America’s most successful vocal group. In 1993, the Guinness Book of World Records declared Ross the most successful female music artist in history due to her success in the United States and United Kingdom for having more hits than any female artist in the charts with a career total of 70 hit singles and sold more than 100 million records worldwide with her work with the Supremes and as a solo artist.” Tickets go on sale Friday, April 25 at 10 a.m. Reserved tickets are $39.50, and there are a […]

    The post City Slang: Diana Ross to open Freedom Hill season appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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transsexual fantasies, motorcycle fears, faculty romance, surrogate partner therapy

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Q:

 I am trying to understand some sexual fantasies I have. They involve having sex with a woman who has a penis. Sometimes I fantasize that my wife grew a penis. The fantasies started when we first tried pegging a few years ago. We recently had our first child and can no longer find the time for such kinky sex. These transsexual fantasies have caused a large strain in our relationship, and I don’t understand why I am having them or what I should do about them. I do not want to engage in a relationship with another person, I just want to know if it’s normal to have these fantasies. —Confused But Hopeful

 

A:

 Normal? No, most men don’t fantasize about their wives sprouting penises, CBH, so your fantasy isn’t normative. But no one’s sexual fantasy is. Fantasies are subjective and personal. Some are more common than others — a desire to be spanked, for instance — but even the most common sexual fantasies appeal only to small subsets of people.

Here’s what you should do about your fantasies for now: Shut up and fantasize about them. Your sex life has taken a hit because you’re new parents; odds are good that your wife doesn’t have the time or energy for sex right now without you also asking her to do something impossible (grow a penis) or something risky (give you the OK to get this fantasy fulfilled elsewhere). And considering what that pegging awoke in you, CBH, your wife may be experiencing a bad case of pegger’s remorse right now. She may worry where your fantasies will ultimately lead, e.g., cheating or leaving. That’s not something a new mom (or a new dad) wants to contemplate. So, again, shut the fuck up and beat the fuck off for now. In a year or maybe two, after your sex life has kicked back into gear, your wife might be willing to either explore your fantasies through role-play games or give you a pass to get with a woman with a dick.

To understand more about your fetish, google “gynandromorphophilia.”

 

Q:

 My boyfriend recently became interested in motorcycles, which makes me nervous for his safety. We had a good talk about it, and he settled on a motorcycle-scooter hybrid that looks like a motorcycle but goes only 50 miles per hour. Now he’s looking into upgrading to a full motorcycle. I don’t feel betrayed, but I am genuinely worried for his safety in taking a motorcycle on the freeway. However, it’s his life, we don’t have kids, and I certainly don’t control him. How do you deal with your fear over a loved one’s safety when they choose to do something that makes you nervous? —Wants Improved Motor Practices

 

A:

 My husband recently became interested in growing a mustache, which made me nervous for my sanity. (All of my uncles had mustaches when I was a kid, and the thought of kissing a guy with a mustache made me think of kissing my uncles Ray, Bill, Jerry, Jimmy et al., and … ick.) He went ahead and grew one while I was out of town for two weeks. It’s his face, of course, and I certainly don’t control him. But I control my face, and I refused to press mine to his — or press any other part of my body to any part of his — until the mustache was gone. It was gone the next day. Maybe you could take the same approach with your boyfriend?

 

Q:

 I am a 29-year-old straight male. I was introduced to Fetlife — and to BDSM generally — by my former girlfriend, who has a profile on the site. The relationship ended a year ago, and things got tempestuous. We tried to be friends, but she changed her mind, and now we don’t speak. I joined Fetlife recently, and here’s where it gets awkward: After our breakup, I occasionally looked at her profile. When she posted a couple nice photos of herself, I stupidly liked them. Now she’s messaged me a couple times, and I am terrified. There are no pictures on my profile, so she doesn’t know it’s me. Now I don’t know what to do: ignore the messages, or come clean, or what? —Ex Currently Keeping Secret

 

A:

 We can’t stop our exes from checking out our online personal ads, blogs, websites, Tumblrs, etc., but you stepped over the line when you liked your ex’s photos. That act amounted to initiating contact with a woman who made it clear that she no longer wished to be in contact with you. You could respond to her messages with “Hey, it’s me,” but she may feel that you tricked her into getting back in contact. Having her messages ignored might also upset her, ECKS, but a nonresponse from a presumed stranger will be less upsetting than a hello from you. There are lots of lurkers and flakes on dating sites, and it’s pretty common to send one or two messages to someone and never hear back. So don’t respond.

 

Q:

 I’m a 20-year-old full-time college student, studying the wonderful world of engineering. I work two jobs and participate in athletics. As you can imagine, with all of this going on, I have little time to myself, let alone time to spend finding someone to share that precious time with. But I recently became what you would call “involved” with a member of the faculty. He’s 20 years older than I am, and we have so much in common that it should be illegal! Should I cut the cord now? Or should I continue enjoying the hottest, sweetest, most thoughtful person I’ve ever met? —Sincerely Smitten Student Hesitates

 

A:

 Enjoy.

And if your hot, sweet, thoughtful faculty member honors the Campsite Rule, i.e., he leaves you in better shape than he found you (no diseases, no unplanned pregnancies, no avoidable drama or trauma), you are in turn obligated to honor the Tea and Sympathy Rule, i.e., when you speak of this in future years — and you will — you will be kind (no nuttiness, no anger that a relationship that was unlikely to work out long-term didn’t wind up turning into an LTR, no sabotaging his academic career by naming names and institutions in a tell-all post on FuckedMyProf.tumblr.com). Have fun, SSSH.

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