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  • You can wear Detroit’s blight on your face

    There is no easy answer to the question regarding what should be done with Detroit’s abandoned homes. However, an Eastern Market company has a solution that could reflect Detroit’s possibly bright future. Homes Eyewear has set out to make the city a little more stylish, and do their part in cleaning it up by repurposing select woods from neglected homes for sunglasses. All of the wood that Homes uses is harvested from vacant houses with the assistance of Reclaim Detroit. A lot of work goes into prepping the wood to be cut and shaped into frames. Homes goes through each piece to remove nails, paint or anything else detrimental to their production (it’s a bit strange to think that your wooden sunglasses could have had family portraits nailed to them). In order to produce more durable eyewear, they salvage only hardwoods like maple or beech, which are difficult to come by as most of the blighted homes were built with softer woods like Douglas fir and pine. If you’re worried about looking goofy, or shudder at the thought of salvaged wood resting on your nose, you can rest easy. Homes currently offers frames in the popular wayfarer style and are developing their unique spin on the classic aviators. For as […]

    The post You can wear Detroit’s blight on your face appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor

    Detroit home-girl Lily Tomlin will perform at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor on Saturday, June 14. A press release reads, “Get together with Lily Tomlin for an unforgettable night of fun and sidesplitting laughter. “Tomlin is amazing” The NY Times and “as always a revelation.” The New Yorker This unique comic artist takes her audience on what the Washington Post calls a “wise and howlingly funny” trip with more than a dozen of her timeless characters—from Ernestine to Mrs. Beasley to Edith Ann.” “With astounding skill and energy, Tomlin zaps through the channels like a human remote control. Using a fantastic range of voices, gestures and movements, she conjures up the cast of characters with all the apparent ease of a magician pulling a whole menagerie of animals from a single hat.” NY Daily News “Her gentle touch is as comforting as it is edifying.” NY Time Out She has “made the one-person show the daring, irreverent art form it is today.” Newsweek Her long list of awards includes: a Grammy; two Tonys; six Emmys; an Oscar nomination; two Peabodys; and the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Find more info here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor

    The Detroit Metro Times, Detroit’s award-winning alternative weekly media company, is proud to announce the recent hire of Valerie Vande Panne as Editor-in-Chief. An award-winning independent journalist and Michigan native, Vande Panne’s work has appeared in Crain’s Detroit Business, The Daily Beast, and Salon, among other publications. Previously, Vande Panne attended Harvard University and was a regular contributor to The Boston Phoenix, and a news editor of High Times magazine. She has spent years covering drug policy among other subjects, including the environment, culture, lifestyle, extreme sports, and academia. “Valerie understands our business and what we expect to accomplish in Detroit. She has an excellent sense for stories that will move our readers, as well as experience with balancing print and digital content. I’m excited to have her at the paper and trust her leadership as we move forward,” said Detroit Metro Times publisher Chris Keating.

    The post Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’

    She welcomes you when you enter Detroit, from every direction, with the one word that might just be Detroit’s biggest philosophical question: Injured? Joumana Kayrouz is deeper than the inflated image watching over Detroit, peddling justice to the poor and broken of the city. This Wednesday, Drew Philp takes us behind the billboard and into the heart of the Kayrouz quest. (And all of Brian Rozman’s photos of Kayrouz have not been retouched.) Check out MT‘s cover story, on newsstands Wednesday!

    The post Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt

    There was a fire in an upstairs apartment at PJ’s Lager House on Monday evening. No people were hurt, although three cats belonging to the tenants died after CPR. The fire broke out around 10:30 p.m. during a show featuring Zombie Jesus & the Chocolate Sunshine Band, Curtin, and Jeffrey Jablonsky. “We just smelled smoke and someone yelled everyone has to get out,” 33-year-old Nick Leu told MLive. On the Lager House Facebook page in the early hours of the morning, a post said, “We at PJ’s lager House would like to thank everyone for their care and concern. Also, a very big THANK YOU to all who stepped up to do what they could this evening. The fire was contained to the upstairs but due to water damage in the bar, we will be closed until it can be assessed. Everyone is safe and we will keep you updated.” A later update read, “Update from the big boss. Since there was no damage to the stage side of the bar, the show will go on tomorrow! You may have to enter through the back door and there may not be a large selection of booze but we are going […]

    The post Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Music review roundup

    Send CDs, vinyl, cassettes, demos and 8-tracks to Brett Callwood, Metro Times, 1200 Woodward Heights, Ferndale MI 48220. Email MP3s and streaming links to bcallwood@metrotimes.com. The Sugar Clouds’ Partners Don’t Do That (They Watch and be Amazed) (Wax Splat) is a nostalgic look at the psychedelic days of ’60s grooviness. Even the album cover looks like a lava lamp. The male-female vocals have a sort of Jefferson Airplane feel, and the songs are blessed with both sugary sweet pop melodies and a garage-y earthiness. The story of the band’s formation is rather interesting; the two vocalists, Greg and Melissa Host, are a divorced couple who wrote the songs in their living room. The band is still together, so this divorce was a hell of a lot more civil than any we’ve ever known of. Steffanie Christi’an has friends in fairly high places. Her new Way Too Much mini-album is being put out by Nadir Omowale’s Distorted Soul label, and she is also a regular feature on Jessica Care Moore’s Black Women Rock revue. Maybe the choice of cover image isn’t the best – she looks a bit like a Tina Turner tribute act here. But that can and should be […]

    The post City Slang: Music review roundup appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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transsexual fantasies, motorcycle fears, faculty romance, surrogate partner therapy

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Q:

 I am trying to understand some sexual fantasies I have. They involve having sex with a woman who has a penis. Sometimes I fantasize that my wife grew a penis. The fantasies started when we first tried pegging a few years ago. We recently had our first child and can no longer find the time for such kinky sex. These transsexual fantasies have caused a large strain in our relationship, and I don’t understand why I am having them or what I should do about them. I do not want to engage in a relationship with another person, I just want to know if it’s normal to have these fantasies. —Confused But Hopeful

 

A:

 Normal? No, most men don’t fantasize about their wives sprouting penises, CBH, so your fantasy isn’t normative. But no one’s sexual fantasy is. Fantasies are subjective and personal. Some are more common than others — a desire to be spanked, for instance — but even the most common sexual fantasies appeal only to small subsets of people.

Here’s what you should do about your fantasies for now: Shut up and fantasize about them. Your sex life has taken a hit because you’re new parents; odds are good that your wife doesn’t have the time or energy for sex right now without you also asking her to do something impossible (grow a penis) or something risky (give you the OK to get this fantasy fulfilled elsewhere). And considering what that pegging awoke in you, CBH, your wife may be experiencing a bad case of pegger’s remorse right now. She may worry where your fantasies will ultimately lead, e.g., cheating or leaving. That’s not something a new mom (or a new dad) wants to contemplate. So, again, shut the fuck up and beat the fuck off for now. In a year or maybe two, after your sex life has kicked back into gear, your wife might be willing to either explore your fantasies through role-play games or give you a pass to get with a woman with a dick.

To understand more about your fetish, google “gynandromorphophilia.”

 

Q:

 My boyfriend recently became interested in motorcycles, which makes me nervous for his safety. We had a good talk about it, and he settled on a motorcycle-scooter hybrid that looks like a motorcycle but goes only 50 miles per hour. Now he’s looking into upgrading to a full motorcycle. I don’t feel betrayed, but I am genuinely worried for his safety in taking a motorcycle on the freeway. However, it’s his life, we don’t have kids, and I certainly don’t control him. How do you deal with your fear over a loved one’s safety when they choose to do something that makes you nervous? —Wants Improved Motor Practices

 

A:

 My husband recently became interested in growing a mustache, which made me nervous for my sanity. (All of my uncles had mustaches when I was a kid, and the thought of kissing a guy with a mustache made me think of kissing my uncles Ray, Bill, Jerry, Jimmy et al., and … ick.) He went ahead and grew one while I was out of town for two weeks. It’s his face, of course, and I certainly don’t control him. But I control my face, and I refused to press mine to his — or press any other part of my body to any part of his — until the mustache was gone. It was gone the next day. Maybe you could take the same approach with your boyfriend?

 

Q:

 I am a 29-year-old straight male. I was introduced to Fetlife — and to BDSM generally — by my former girlfriend, who has a profile on the site. The relationship ended a year ago, and things got tempestuous. We tried to be friends, but she changed her mind, and now we don’t speak. I joined Fetlife recently, and here’s where it gets awkward: After our breakup, I occasionally looked at her profile. When she posted a couple nice photos of herself, I stupidly liked them. Now she’s messaged me a couple times, and I am terrified. There are no pictures on my profile, so she doesn’t know it’s me. Now I don’t know what to do: ignore the messages, or come clean, or what? —Ex Currently Keeping Secret

 

A:

 We can’t stop our exes from checking out our online personal ads, blogs, websites, Tumblrs, etc., but you stepped over the line when you liked your ex’s photos. That act amounted to initiating contact with a woman who made it clear that she no longer wished to be in contact with you. You could respond to her messages with “Hey, it’s me,” but she may feel that you tricked her into getting back in contact. Having her messages ignored might also upset her, ECKS, but a nonresponse from a presumed stranger will be less upsetting than a hello from you. There are lots of lurkers and flakes on dating sites, and it’s pretty common to send one or two messages to someone and never hear back. So don’t respond.

 

Q:

 I’m a 20-year-old full-time college student, studying the wonderful world of engineering. I work two jobs and participate in athletics. As you can imagine, with all of this going on, I have little time to myself, let alone time to spend finding someone to share that precious time with. But I recently became what you would call “involved” with a member of the faculty. He’s 20 years older than I am, and we have so much in common that it should be illegal! Should I cut the cord now? Or should I continue enjoying the hottest, sweetest, most thoughtful person I’ve ever met? —Sincerely Smitten Student Hesitates

 

A:

 Enjoy.

And if your hot, sweet, thoughtful faculty member honors the Campsite Rule, i.e., he leaves you in better shape than he found you (no diseases, no unplanned pregnancies, no avoidable drama or trauma), you are in turn obligated to honor the Tea and Sympathy Rule, i.e., when you speak of this in future years — and you will — you will be kind (no nuttiness, no anger that a relationship that was unlikely to work out long-term didn’t wind up turning into an LTR, no sabotaging his academic career by naming names and institutions in a tell-all post on FuckedMyProf.tumblr.com). Have fun, SSSH.

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