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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage

Senior Kinksterz

Being old and kinky, monogamish and ready to settle down, and also 'making it with a chimp'

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Q: I am a kinky, youthful 72-year-old guy. I grew up in the Pleistocene era, when there was virtually no way to meet a kinky woman. I’ve had two vanilla marriages and three months ago I ended a four-year vanilla relationship with the best woman I’ve ever met. I just couldn’t take not being a BDSM person anymore and I broke up with this wonderful woman so I could do BDSM. I’ve had some fun, but no candidate for a possible LTR has come along. In the meantime, my most recent ex (I’ll call her “Mel”) and I have both been bereft over our split.

Two days ago, Mel called me and said she wants me back. She says she’s willing to do what I need if it will make it possible for us to be together. Since I am a switch, it would be perfectly acceptable to me to have her abuse and torture me. I am functioning as a Dom in the BDSM world at the moment, since there are so few female switches around and virtually all female subs turn green at the idea of being with a switch.

Also, the competition for female dominants is fierce and it’s too much for me — especially at age 72. However, if I had to choose to be one or the other, I would choose to be a sub to a dominant woman. Can Mel be that woman? Is it possible for a vanilla person to adapt to BDSM? Also, she does have a few weirdo fantasies of her own, such as making it with a chimp.

—Wants Helpful Insight, Please!

P.S. My son turned me on to your column recently!

A: “Good for you for being honest about the importance of kink in your life,” says Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex. “At our age, we often realize that life is too short for bad sex. Sometimes it takes a series of unfulfilling relationships to make sexy, silver-haired folks like us say, ‘If not now, when?’”

And if not Mel, who?

You’re a new reader, WHIP, so you missed this insight the first 10,000 times it appeared in my column: You’ll meet two kinds of people at leather-fetish-BDSM contests, play parties and street festivals: people who were always kinky — men and women who’ve been jacking and jilling off about their kinks since they hit puberty — and formerly vanilla people who fell in love with someone who was kinky, gave their partners’ kinks a try (sometimes to save the relationship), and grew to love their partners’ kinks.

So Mel may be able to “adapt” to BDSM. Price agrees: “Yes, it’s absolutely possible for your vanilla lady to shift into kinky sex, especially since she’s in love with you. Whether she’s doing it just to please you or she’s open to kinks herself, give her a chance.”

But you’re going to need to take it slow, WHIP, and you’ll need to use your words.

“Tell her what turns you on,” says Price. “Whisper your fantasies into her ear, share erotica or porn featuring your favorite activities. Solicit her fantasies about dominating you, if she has them, or suggest some scenes to her and see what she responds to. Once she’s ready and willing, start with small steps rather than full-blown scenes, so she can ease into this new world.”

And if all goes well — if Mel isn’t traumatized or disgusted by BDSM sex, if she enjoys dominating you or is GGG enough to go there for you on a regular basis — don’t be a stupid, selfish kinkster, WHIP. By which I mean to say: Don’t neglect Mel’s desire for vanilla sex. If it helps to think of vanilla sex as a horrible ordeal that you have to submit to — vanilla is a service you provide to Mel, your Dom, because you’re a good slave — then ask Mel to order you to have vanilla sex.

As for books, WHIP, both Price and I recommend The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge (Cleis Press, 2012), an informative collection of essays by a diverse group of writers that was edited by the indispensable Tristan Taormino. And if you’re hoping Mel will join you at public fetish events, get her a copy of Mollena Williams and Lee Harrington’s Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities.

Joan Price blogs about sex and aging at NakedAtOurAge.com. Follow her on Twitter @JoanPrice.

Q: I’m a bisexual or pansexual or omnisexual — or whatever the kids are calling us these days — woman in a monogamish marriage to a great, GGG straight man. Both of us are in our early 30s. Since getting married, we’ve traveled around the world and done whatever the hell we wanted. It was a crazy exciting life, but we decided it was time to stop living paycheck to paycheck, so we came back to the United States.

We recently bought a house and we were planning to have a kid next year. But now my husband says that he’s not ready. He says there are things he wants to do that he will never ever get to do if we have kids now. I asked him for a time frame and he said that he couldn’t answer that. What he has said to me is: “We’ve always said we’d never be one of those couples that stop adventuring because we have a nest and kids and stuff.” This might be a deal breaker for me. I want to be a mom. I’m ready. I don’t want my husband to feel resentment that he never got to live the life he wanted (more travel or more crazy sexual adventures?) because I stuck him with a kid, but at the same time, he can’t even give me a time frame. He’s my best friend, he’s hot, he’s a wonderful person and funny as hell. What should I do?
—Childless H

A: First, get to a couples counselor.

Second, relay this message to your husband from me: Travel and adventure — sexual and otherwise — don’t have to stop after you become parents. They do become more difficult, logistically speaking, and you won’t be able to go adventuring on impulse anymore. But you can have adventures, dude, as a couple and as individuals. (It’s good for married people, including parents, to spend time apart.) It’s true, however, that most parents do stop adventuring — but that’s usually because they were ready to stop adventuring or they weren’t that adventurous in the first place. You can do it differently. Pro tip: It’s easier to make time for adventuring if you have one kid. And traveling with a small child — even taking off to live in a foreign country for a year or two — is a lot easier than Parentlandia propaganda would have you believe. You’re an adventurous person — you and your wife are adventurous people — and adventurous people can choose to be adventurous parents.

This week on the Savage Lovecast: Do bisexuals need a new label? Savagelovecast.com.
Follow Dan at @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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