Trending
Most Read
  • Detroit website offers stats, updates on city operations

    Interested in reading about what Detroit accomplishes on a week-to-week basis that’s produced by the city itself? Great. You can do that now, here, at the Detroit Dashboard. Every Thursday morning, the city will publish an update to the dashboard because Mayor Mike Duggan loves metrics, even if the data might be hard to come by. According to Duggan’s office, the dashboard will provide data on how many LED street lights were installed, how many vacant lots were mowed, how much blight was removed, and more. This week, the city says it has sold 13 site lots through BuildingDetroit.com, removed 570 tons of illegal dumping, and filed 57 lawsuits against abandoned property owners.  

    The post Detroit website offers stats, updates on city operations appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Long John Silver’s makes nod to Nancy Whiskey in YouTube commercial

    We don’t know about you, but usually Nancy Whiskey and Long John Silver’s aren’t two concepts we’d place in the same sentence. However, the international fast food fish fry conglomerate made a nod to the Detroit dive in their latest YouTube commercial. LJS is offering free fish fries on Saturday, August 2, which is the promotion the commercial is attempting to deliver. But, we think we’ll just go to Nancy Whiskey instead.

    The post Long John Silver’s makes nod to Nancy Whiskey in YouTube commercial appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Michigan’s women-only music fest still shuns transwomen

    We came across an interesting item this week: Apparently, a music festival with the name “Michfest” is quietly oriented as a “Women-Only Festival Exclusively for ‘Women Born Women.’” It seems a strange decision to us. If you wanted to have a women-only music festival, why not simply proclaim loud and clear that it is for all sorts of women? But if you really wanted to become a lightning rod for criticisms about transphobia, organizers have found the perfect way to present their festival. Now, we know that defenders of non-cisgender folks have it tough. The strides made by gays and lesbians (and bisexuals) in the last 20 years have been decisive and dramatic. But the people who put the ‘T’ in LGBT have reason to be especially defensive, facing a hostile culture and even some disdain from people who should be their natural allies. That said, sometimes that defensiveness can cause some activists to go overboard; when we interviewed Dan Savage a couple years ago, he recalled his “glitter bombing” and said it was due to the “the narcissism of small differences,” adding that “if you’re playing the game of who is the most victimized, attacking your real enemies doesn’t prove you’re most victimized, claiming you […]

    The post Michigan’s women-only music fest still shuns transwomen appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Use this widget to find your polling place for Aug. 5 primary election

    Reminder: the August 5 primary election is coming up. Where do you vote? What’s on the ballot? All these questions can be easily answered by simply typing the address you are registered to vote at into this handy widget created by Pew Charitable Trusts and Google: You can embed this widget on your own website with the following code, and more information can be found at the Voting Info Project.: <script type=”text/javascript” src=”https://voter-info-tool.appspot.com/js/loader.js”></script> <div id=”_vit”></div> <script type=”text/javascript”>vit.load({‘election_id’:’4034′, ‘suppress_voter_id_rules’: true});</script> Read up on MT‘s election guide for Wayne county executive here.

    The post Use this widget to find your polling place for Aug. 5 primary election appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Thank you, Detroit

    I’m not going to lie to you – this isn’t easy. This week, the final City Slang local music column will be published in the Metro Times (on hardcore band Final Assault), and I have just submitted a cover feature on the women of Detroit hip-hop, to be published next week (8/6). This blog that you’re reading now will be my last one as a regular MT contributor. I have a lot to look forward to. I’m going to be an associate editor at Yellow Scene Magazine in Colorado, a tremendous publication in a beautiful part of the country. But leaving Detroit will be incredibly difficult for me. I love the place. It’s been (amazingly) six and a half years since I arrived, a couple of cases in hand and not much of a plan in mind. I just knew, after three separate research trips for books and a magazine article, that I felt at home here. Metro Times offered me freelance work almost immediately, as did a new website called Metromix (whatever happened to that?) When I arrived here, I had been working as a writer in the UK for nine years, but the help and encouragement I received […]

    The post Thank you, Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers

      We here at MT will be delighted when Mr. Jack White throws out a pitch at Navin Field (at least, we hope he will), but until then, we’ll be happy with his pitch to Santa this evening at Comerica Park.    

    The post Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

Calendar

Calendar

Search thousands of events in our database.

Restaurants

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Nightlife

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

MT on Twitter
MT on Facebook

Print Email

Savage Love

Husbanding

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


Q:

 I love my husband of 20 years, but our sexual differences are putting a strain on our marriage. Ten years ago, he asked me to talk dirty to him about having sex with other men. It has progressed to him wanting to be a cuckold. I only want to be with him, but he presses the issue by verbalizing cuckold situations during sex. This makes me close my eyes and shut down. By the time he is done, I have no desire to orgasm because I no longer feel attractive. Worse, I feel like I am not enough for him. The only way he can get off is to talk about, think about, or hear me talk about having sex with other men. It makes me feel worthless as a sex partner — which is crazy, because I am attractive and open to a great deal of things (toys, games, dressing up, striptease, etc.). I long for him to touch me, kiss me, and look at me the way he used to. He is a good father and a good provider, and I love him. But this matter is crushing my self-esteem. I won’t stay much longer if this continues. —Extremely Frustrated Female Experiencing Despair

 

A:

 Your husband was probably reading cuckolding blogs for years before he worked up the nerve to raise the subject, EFFED, and here’s what he’s gleaned: Husband brings it up, wife shoots it down, husband whines, wife agrees to explore it as fantasy only, and then one day — after months or years of dirty talk — wife announces she wants to give it a try. She winds up loving it, she says she regrets waiting so long, and husband lives happily ever after in cuckolded bliss. Reading so many cuckolding success stories — many likely fictitious — has left your husband convinced that if he just keeps at it, one day his wife will want to try it. (Some wives do try it and like it. I got a letter from a woman who’s angry that her husband — after years of dirty talk and a half-dozen cuckolding experiences — has decided that it isn’t for him after all. He doesn’t want her sleeping with other men; she doesn’t want to go back to sleeping with just him. Dr. Cuckenstein created a monster.)

Tell your husband in no uncertain terms that you don’t want to hear about cuckolding anymore. Period. He is free to think about whatever he wants to during sex — we all are — but he has to keep his cuckolding fantasies to himself. Wrap up the convo by informing him that from now on, your sex sessions end the moment the subject of you sleeping with other men is raised. No more closing your eyes and waiting for him to finish. (And what kind of asshole can finish under those circumstances?) If he brings up other men, EFFED, get off the bed, get out of the bedroom, and go to the kitchen and have some ice cream. Your husband needs to find a new erotic script that works for you both. The incentive for him: Since you are open to many things — toys, games, dressing up, striptease — a fantasy scenario that turns you on is likely to become a reality scenario pretty quickly.

Finally, EFFED, cuckolds don’t see their wives as unattractive. Cuckolds see their wives as so desirable — and so insatiable — that they’re incapable of giving their wives all of the sexual attention they deserve. But I can see why you’re upset. You want sex to be about the two of you, about the intimacy you share (or used to share), and your inconsiderate husband is always running his mouth about people who aren’t in the room. It’s understandable that you would feel like you’re not enough for him after 10 years of this bullshit. But your husband’s cuckolding fantasies don’t mean he finds you unattractive — they mean the exact opposite.

 

Q:

 I am a 28-year-old married straight male. I have a lot of confusion regarding my sexual orientation and gender identity, and I am in therapy. My question for you is about my current self-pleasuring routine. I get high and watch “sissy self-hypnosis” videos. These videos consist of text, pictures and subliminal suggestions aimed at hypnotizing straight males into some kind of “mind control” sex slavery. Some are about cuckolding and femdom; some are about being brainwashed into sucking cock. It is all done in a really amateurish and (hopefully) ineffective way. Am I destroying my brain here? —Man Wondering About Hypnosis

 

A:

 I haven’t encountered any glassy-eyed straight guys wandering around my gay neighborhood offering to suck cock, so I’m thinking these videos are ineffective. They sound like a harmless way for an otherwise healthy, stable straight guy to fantasize about ceding his power and privilege to people the culture taught him to regard as weak and inferior, i.e., women and fags. That said, MWAH, it doesn’t sound like you’re an otherwise healthy, stable straight guy. You’re confused about your sexual orientation and gender identity, and you’re working on those issues with a shrink. That being the case, MWAH, I think you might wanna avoid these videos for the time being.

 

Q:

 I always told myself that I would forgive my husband if he cheated on me. Well, he had an affair for eight months. He also blew through our savings and racked up considerable credit card debt. The college fund we started for our two children is gone. He spent all of the money on fancy dinners, expensive gifts and incredible vacations for his girlfriend. I am so angry, I can’t imagine staying. My husband ended the affair and wants desperately to save our marriage. As much as it pains me to subject my kids to divorce, I don’t know if I can commit to him again. Is the best option to DTMFA? —Heartbroken

 

A:

 Sexual infidelity is one thing — and it’s a relatively common thing (so people should go into marriage prepared to work through it) — but we’re not talking about one thing here. We’re talking about a whole series of betrayals. Your husband betrayed you sexually and financially. He stole from you. He stole from his own children.

We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus
We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus