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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Q:

 Settle this for us, Dan? Which is the bigger ask: a one-time, once-in-a-lifetime threesome or regular (and pretty damn elaborate) bondage sessions? —Ruling On Private Enquiry Required

A:

 Let me guess: Your partner is into bondage, ROPER, and you’re not. But you’ve been doing the hard work of tying him, her or some-other-point-along-the-gender-spectrum up for months, years, or decades… and the partner you’ve gone to great lengths to indulge (and restrain) regards your request for a once-in-a-lifetime, standard-issue-fantasy threesome as too much to ask.

My ruling: Regular and intense bondage sessions are the bigger ask in terms of time and effort — particularly if I guessed wrong, ROPER, and you’re the person who’s getting tied up and bondage isn’t your thing — but a threesome, even just one, is going to be a bigger ask emotionally for most people. While the former requires patience and endurance, the latter requires revisiting feelings about monogamy, sharing your partner with another person, etc. It’s a smaller ask in terms of time and effort, certainly, but a higher hurdle in fee-fee terms.

Q:

 I am a single hetero male. I had a female FWB for several months. She started dating a new guy, and he asked that she stop talking to me. That seems like a red flag. If he’d asked that we stop having sex, that would be one thing, but asking her to completely end the friendship seems like a warning sign of a controller. Am I overreacting? Does that seem like a red flag to you? Should I say anything to her? —Can’t Understand Lover’s Loss

A:

 Isolating a romantic partner from her family and friends is a red flag — that’s a classic abuser move — but asking a girl you’ve just started dating to cut off a friend she’s been fucking for months isn’t necessarily an abuser move. If he’s asking her to cut non-FWB friends and family members in addition to you, CULL, then it’s a red flag and you should speak to her. But if it’s only you, CULL, then it’s just some garden-variety insecurity on the new BF’s part. Let your friend know that you hope you can re-establish your friendship once her new BF is feeling more secure or her BF is out of the picture — whichever comes first.

Q:

 My boyfriend and I have been having lots of problems. I am way too critical, and he has “erectile dysfunction,” aka issues getting and staying hard. But I recently discovered that he can get hard in an instant by licking my feet or using them to masturbate! This is great! He is finally opening up sexually! I want to explore this with him and let him know that his sexuality is a beautiful thing. But I can’t find enough information on the Internet on how to support him. Any advice?

—Truly Over Erotic Slump

A:

 Your boyfriend doesn’t have “erectile dysfunction,” TOES, and never did. Your BF, like millions of other men who are presumed to have ED, simply wasn’t doing the things that turn him on. Now that he is — now that your feet are in play — he doesn’t have any issues getting and staying hard. And you don’t need anything off the Internet, TOES. You already have everything you need to support your boyfriend: the shit in your shoes (those lovely feet of yours) and the shit between your ears (your supportive, sex-positive attitude about his kinks). Have fun.

Q:

 At my 50th birthday party, my older brother announced to everyone — including my new wife, our parents and his teenage son — that I used to wear women’s clothes. I was humiliated and deeply hurt. I wanted to punch him and tell all his secrets. But I didn’t. Now I am planning to humiliate him on a special occasion of his. Childish, I know, but what else can I do to save face?     —Devastated In Denver

A:

 You could’ve saved face in the moment by laughing and saying something like this: “Yeah, I was quite the little pervert back then, bro, but weren’t we all at that age?” Your parents, your new wife, your brother’s son et al., would’ve imagined your brother doing something much, much worse than wearing women’s clothes. But it’s too late for that comeback. (Avoir l’esprit de l’escalier, right?) So my advice now: Pick a special, solemn occasion — your brother’s anniversary party, midnight Mass, his son’s graduation — and show up in full fuckin’ drag.

Q:

 I’m a 33-year-old lesbian. A year ago, my partner and I split up for five months. During that time, I dated a girl while my partner engaged in multiple sexual relationships — all with men. We ended up getting back together. One problem keeps me from moving on: I am the only woman my partner has ever been with, and I can’t stop thinking about the fact that she spent so much “quality time” with so many men while we were apart. I can’t help but wonder if she’s bi or straight! It also hurts that she feels like she can’t be honest with me about what she likes or wants or needs sexually. I should mention that we are a little over a year into our “new” relationship and we never have sex. I initiated sex a week ago — the first time we’ve had sex in four months! — and she came, I didn’t, and she didn’t care. Any time I try to talk to her about it, she gets defensive and tells me that she is attracted to me and insists she doesn’t like sex with guys. What do I do, Dan?—Fixing To Explode

A:

 Thought experiment: Let’s pretend your girlfriend is a lesbian. (And why not? Your girlfriend does.) What kind of a lesbian GF is she? The kind of lesbian GF who doesn’t fuck you much, sucks in bed on those rare occasions when she does fuck you, and manipulates you emotionally to keep you from calling her on her doesn’t-fuck-you-much, sucks-in-bed-when-she-does bullshit. So, FTE, your GF — lesbian or not — is selfish and inconsiderate and she’s making you miserable. End it.

Q:

 I’m a submissive gay boy into puppy play. And I have a huge crush on a certain sex-advice columnist and his crazy-hot husband. How do I get to be their owned puppy? —Boy After Real Kinks

A:

 Good news, BARK! Terry says we can get a puppy! But he says we’ll have to get our puppy fixed. That’s a big ask, I realize, but we wanna be responsible dog owners.

This week on the Savage Lovecast, Dan Savage speaks with porn-industry director, performer, and producer Joanna Angel at savagelovecast.com.

Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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