Savage Love
Locking it up
On whether male chastity devices post long-term problems
Published: March 6, 2013
The third opinion is from a kinky blogger. Metal served for six years on the board of Gay Male S/M Activists, an organization dedicated to promoting safe, sane and consensual BDSM, and he now runs the popular BDSM site metalbondnyc.com. He’s also a keyholder to several men locked in long-term chastity devices.
“I’m not a medical doctor,” Metal said, “so I can’t speak with authority on potential long-term physical effects. But I can tell you that many, many men use chastity to enhance their sex lives. There are whole websites devoted to just that one aspect of BDSM play, and some of the most popular entries on my site are about chastity.”
None of the men Metal has personally locked up — some for months at a time — have had any trouble getting hard once their chastity devices were removed. “When guys are first locked up, they often complain of waking up in the middle of the night with painful erections,” said Metal. “But that usually passes in a week or so. What I would suggest to this couple is to go ahead and experiment. Lock him up for a day or two initially, then a few days, and then maybe work up to a week or more. Rules are good. Maybe he gets unlocked only when he’s chained to the bed. Then right after he comes — if he’s allowed to come —his dick gets locked back up before he’s unchained.” Metal urges you to be cautious, to take it slow, but not to fear chastity play. “Think of chastity as a really, really long form of foreplay,” said Metal. “The possibilities, and the long-term sexual rewards, can be endless.”
Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.
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