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    Detroit home-girl Lily Tomlin will perform at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor on Saturday, June 14. A press release reads, “Get together with Lily Tomlin for an unforgettable night of fun and sidesplitting laughter. “Tomlin is amazing” The NY Times and “as always a revelation.” The New Yorker This unique comic artist takes her audience on what the Washington Post calls a “wise and howlingly funny” trip with more than a dozen of her timeless characters—from Ernestine to Mrs. Beasley to Edith Ann.” “With astounding skill and energy, Tomlin zaps through the channels like a human remote control. Using a fantastic range of voices, gestures and movements, she conjures up the cast of characters with all the apparent ease of a magician pulling a whole menagerie of animals from a single hat.” NY Daily News “Her gentle touch is as comforting as it is edifying.” NY Time Out She has “made the one-person show the daring, irreverent art form it is today.” Newsweek Her long list of awards includes: a Grammy; two Tonys; six Emmys; an Oscar nomination; two Peabodys; and the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Find more info here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor

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    The post Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’

    She welcomes you when you enter Detroit, from every direction, with the one word that might just be Detroit’s biggest philosophical question: Injured? Joumana Kayrouz is deeper than the inflated image watching over Detroit, peddling justice to the poor and broken of the city. This Wednesday, Drew Philp takes us behind the billboard and into the heart of the Kayrouz quest. (And all of Brian Rozman’s photos of Kayrouz have not been retouched.) Check out MT‘s cover story, on newsstands Wednesday!

    The post Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt

    There was a fire in an upstairs apartment at PJ’s Lager House on Monday evening. No people were hurt, although three cats belonging to the tenants died after CPR. The fire broke out around 10:30 p.m. during a show featuring Zombie Jesus & the Chocolate Sunshine Band, Curtin, and Jeffrey Jablonsky. “We just smelled smoke and someone yelled everyone has to get out,” 33-year-old Nick Leu told MLive. On the Lager House Facebook page in the early hours of the morning, a post said, “We at PJ’s lager House would like to thank everyone for their care and concern. Also, a very big THANK YOU to all who stepped up to do what they could this evening. The fire was contained to the upstairs but due to water damage in the bar, we will be closed until it can be assessed. Everyone is safe and we will keep you updated.” A later update read, “Update from the big boss. Since there was no damage to the stage side of the bar, the show will go on tomorrow! You may have to enter through the back door and there may not be a large selection of booze but we are going […]

    The post Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Music review roundup

    Send CDs, vinyl, cassettes, demos and 8-tracks to Brett Callwood, Metro Times, 1200 Woodward Heights, Ferndale MI 48220. Email MP3s and streaming links to bcallwood@metrotimes.com. The Sugar Clouds’ Partners Don’t Do That (They Watch and be Amazed) (Wax Splat) is a nostalgic look at the psychedelic days of ’60s grooviness. Even the album cover looks like a lava lamp. The male-female vocals have a sort of Jefferson Airplane feel, and the songs are blessed with both sugary sweet pop melodies and a garage-y earthiness. The story of the band’s formation is rather interesting; the two vocalists, Greg and Melissa Host, are a divorced couple who wrote the songs in their living room. The band is still together, so this divorce was a hell of a lot more civil than any we’ve ever known of. Steffanie Christi’an has friends in fairly high places. Her new Way Too Much mini-album is being put out by Nadir Omowale’s Distorted Soul label, and she is also a regular feature on Jessica Care Moore’s Black Women Rock revue. Maybe the choice of cover image isn’t the best – she looks a bit like a Tina Turner tribute act here. But that can and should be […]

    The post City Slang: Music review roundup appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit councilman: Increased parking fines an ‘anti-growth strategy’

      There’s at least one city councilmember who’s less than pleased with Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr’s plan to increase all parking violation fines. Councilman Gabe Leland, whose district represents the city’s west side, issued a statement today, calling Orr’s plan a potential “deterrent” to attracting people to the city. I don’t believe the argument to raise the parking ticket fines from $30 to $45 and eliminate the $10 early payment fine are justification for this action. The emergency manager’s order to increase ticket fines places city government inefficiencies on the backs of our residents who need to do business in downtown and other parts of our city. And, this will increase the barrier for people to frequent Detroit-based establishments; likely to be a deterrent for some to shop and dine in our city. Leland suggested implementing a plan that maintains current rates for fines and reduces operating inefficiencies to collecting parking fines. “In my view, generating revenue by increasing fines when residents from neighborhoods must go downtown to get licenses and permits, attend court appointments and do other necessary business, is the wrong direction,” Leland said. “…Additionally, generating revenue using fines when we are trying to grow this city and attract […]

    The post Detroit councilman: Increased parking fines an ‘anti-growth strategy’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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SAVAGE LOVE

Holiday humping

Choking, Lesbian Unicorns, and more.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


Q:

 I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while on holiday in Costa Rica. I thought I was sex-positive and adventurous, so why do I feel so ashamed? I’m dating a boy back in the United States who I absolutely adore, but we’re not necessarily exclusive. The guy was a 22-year-old local — I thought he was so sweet. But he did that bullshit “fuck her and then get her out of bed and drive her home” shit. I told him it wasn’t OK, and he made excuses. I feel so fucking pathetic right now. Is this because I did something stupid? Is this a natural feeling? Or is it a result of some deep psychological self-induced slut-shaming? Why would he kick me out like that? Please help me wrap my head around this. —Truly Underestimated Risk In Sexual Tourist Adventure

A:

 You had a one-night stand, and the dude wouldn’t let you spend the night, and now you’re having a meltdown about it. Why this reaction? Because before you could give yourself permission to fuck this guy, you had to convince yourself that this encounter wasn’t, in fact, about two people using each other. Like a lot of people who want to have one-night stands — men and women, gay and straight, locals and tourists — you psyched yourself up to believe that you two had some sort of meaningful insta-connection. (“I thought he was so sweet.”) You convinced yourself that if circumstances were different — if you were single, if you lived in Costa Rica — you could see yourself dating this guy. You rounded this dude up to boyfriend material, TURISTA, but the way he treated you after the sex was over — “OK, lady, back to the hotel” — stripped away your illusions: He was a player, and you had been played.

Was your reaction sex-negative? Yes, it was. Are you slut-shaming yourself? Yes, you are. You did something kind of sleazy on vacation, TURISTA, just like millions of other people before you, and you misjudged someone. But who hasn’t?

As for why he kicked you out, TURISTA, I couldn’t tell you. Maybe he’s in a relationship that’s “not necessarily exclusive,” and his girlfriend was coming over in the morning and wouldn’t appreciate finding a turista — yet another one — in his bed.

Q:

 Never thought I’d be writing to you for advice, but here goes: I’m a straight guy with a long-term girlfriend who has a choking fetish. She needs to be choked during sex to get off. I’m more of a vanilla kind of dude, but in the spirit of being GGG, I’ve been doing this for her. The thing is, it kind of scares me. I don’t particularly get off on it, and it actually brings out parts of me that I don’t like. More importantly, I’m really scared of hurting her. Recently while on vacation, hotel security was called because our neighbors thought I was assaulting her, as she’s a screamer and likes to struggle during sex. I’m trying to be GGG, but now it feels like every fuck needs to be a rape scene, complete with choking. She doesn’t like it any other way. I don’t want to accidentally hurt her or kill her and wind up in jail, but she’s dismissive when I share my concerns. My friends in the BDSM scene scold me and say that breath play is never OK. Your thoughts? —Throat Harm Really Obsesses This Terrific Lady Entirely

A:

 Here’s what BDSM author, educator, and activist Jay Wiseman has to say about choking in his book SM 101: A Realistic Introduction: “I know of no way whatsoever that suffocation or strangulation can be done that does not intrinsically put the recipient at risk of cardiac arrest … I know of no reliable way to determine when such a cardiac arrest becomes imminent. If the recipient does arrest, the probability of resuscitating them, even with optimal CPR, is small.”

Even if choking weren’t dangerous — posts about people accidentally killing themselves during solo choking scenes appear on fetish blogs with depressing regularity — being this woman’s boyfriend-assailant has to be tedious. Even if choking were safe, THROTTLE, you need to ask yourself if you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone who’s as inconsiderate, selfish and sexually limited as your girlfriend seems to be.

Q:

 I am a 29-year-old lesbian. My best friend has an incredibly hot sister to whom I am very attracted. Let’s call her Gladys. Gladys is about 10 years older than me and happily married to a man. We talk about life on Facebook and text each other frequently. Recently, things have gotten a bit more flirtatious. I am dying to say to her, “I am super-attracted to you and I don’t want to assume anything about your agreements with your hubby. If you ever want to explore your sexuality with a girl, I would love to be that girl.” It seems like a delicate situation. I love my best friend’s entire family. I love their mom. I have spent holidays at their house and vacationed with them. I don’t want to embarrass myself. But I know she couldn’t ask me that same thing. It just wouldn’t be right from her side, since I am her little sister’s best friend. Is there a way to roll this out? —Lesbian Under Straight Tease

A:

 Let’s do a quick risk-reward analysis, LUST. By hitting on this woman, you’re risking your relationship with your best friend, your best friend’s sister, your best friend’s mom, and all future family holiday and vacation invites for the potential reward of getting into the pants of your best friend’s hot married older sister once or twice. Seems like a lot to risk, if you ask me, LUST, and you did. That said, there are a lot of married bi women out there. But if Gladys has an open relationship with her husband — or if they’re actively searching for a unicorn — it would be better if they made the first move. So keep flirting and live in hope.

Q:

 A girl I worked with introduced me to your podcast a couple of months ago. You must get this email (or variations on it) all the time, but I wanted to say thank you for the Savage Lovecast. It has made me feel a lot more comfortable about some of the things I like to do, consensually, with my loving GGG boy. My girlfriends sometimes turn their noses up at some of the sexual stuff I’ve tried or mentioned being interested in trying. The calls and guest experts on your podcast make me feel so much more normal, and my boyfriend loves that I’ve recently become a lot more open about the things I want to do. I don’t have a question, Dan, I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate what you and the tech-savvy at-risk youth do every week. —Eager Nice Girl Living In Scottish Highlands

A:

 Thanks for the lovely note, ENGLISH, and tell your boyfriend I said hello. And remember, dear readers, if you’re not listening to my weekly podcast — check out our brand-new site at savagelovecast.com — you’re not getting your full weekly dose of Savage Love.

 

Dan Savage’s new book, American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics, is available now!

 

Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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