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  • Thank you, Detroit

    I’m not going to lie to you – this isn’t easy. This week, the final City Slang local music column will be published in the Metro Times (on hardcore band Final Assault), and I have just submitted a cover feature on the women of Detroit hip-hop, to be published next week (8/6). This blog that you’re reading now will be my last one as a regular MT contributor. I have a lot to look forward to. I’m going to be an associate editor at Yellow Scene Magazine in Colorado, a tremendous publication in a beautiful part of the country. But leaving Detroit will be incredibly difficult for me. I love the place. It’s been (amazingly) six and a half years since I arrived, a couple of cases in hand and not much of a plan in mind. I just knew, after three separate research trips for books and a magazine article, that I felt at home here. Metro Times offered me freelance work almost immediately, as did a new website called Metromix (whatever happened to that?) When I arrived here, I had been working as a writer in the UK for nine years, but the help and encouragement I received […]

    The post Thank you, Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers

      We here at MT will be delighted when Mr. Jack White throws out a pitch at Navin Field (at least, we hope he will), but until then, we’ll be happy with his pitch to Santa this evening at Comerica Park.    

    The post Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Watch footage of the Gathering of the Juggalos dubbed with Morgan Freeman narration (NSFW)

      Footage from the Gathering of the Juggalos set to clips of Morgan Freeman’s narration from March of the Penguins? Kind of forced, but also kind of beautiful. As the AV Club reports: The oft-sought voiceover champion lends a touch of gravitas to the festival proceedings. Unfortunate scenes of barely clad people having various liquids dumped onto them now carries a quiet dignity as it’s all part of nature’s majestic plan that keeps the world spinning through this elegantly designed and truly wondrous universe. Also, the video is NSFW as there are boobs in it. Watch the clip below:

    The post Watch footage of the Gathering of the Juggalos dubbed with Morgan Freeman narration (NSFW) appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Turn to Crime debut chilly video for “Can’t Love”

    It seems like the polar vortex will never end: the weather phenomenon that brought us the most brutal winter on record this winter is to blame for this summer’s chillier-than usual temperatures as well. A couple of bands, though, made lemonade out of lemons (or snow cones out of snow?) by using the icy landscape to film music videos. 800beloved shot the video for “Tidal” in some sand dunes near Empire, Mich., and this week Turn to Crime debuted the video for “Can’t Stop,” the title track of their recently-released album. Even more piles of ice and snow might be the last thing Detroiters want to see right now, but the footage makes for some good visuals that mesh well with the song. Watch the video below:

    The post Turn to Crime debut chilly video for “Can’t Love” appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Duggan takes control of Detroit water department; says changes to approach on ‘delinquent payment issues’ needed

    Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr transferred oversight of the the city’s water department Tuesday to Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan in an order intended to refocus “efforts to help DWSD customers get and remain current on their water bills,” Orr’s office said today. “This order provides additional clarity to the powers already delegated to the mayor,” Orr said in a statement released Tuesday. “As the Detroit Water and Sewerage Department works to operate more efficiently and communicate more effectively with customers, it is important to ensure there are clear lines of management and accountability.” Duggan will have the authority to manage DWSD and make appointments to the utility’s board, according to a news release. In a statement issued Tuesday, the mayor said he welcomed Orr’s order, adding that officials will develop a plan that “allows those who truly need to access to financial help … to do so with shorter wait times.” “We need to change a number of things in the way we have approached the delinquent payment issues and I expect us to have a new plan shortly,” Duggan said. “There are funds available to support those who cannot afford their bills — we need to do a much better job in […]

    The post Duggan takes control of Detroit water department; says changes to approach on ‘delinquent payment issues’ needed appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Rovers Scooter Club Celebrates 10 Years

    Rovers Scooter Club, a local gang dedicated to celebrating and riding motor scooters, will be celebrating its 10 year anniversary this week with a very special ride. Motor City Shakedown, the annual birthday party for the club, will commence this Friday, August 1 at New Way Bar. DJ Grover from Cincinnati will be spinning northern soul, reggae, and ska, according to club member Michael Palazzola. Saturday will feature a ride from Ferndale to Detroit, starting at noon at M-Brew. Palazzola says this is where most bikes will congregate before taking the ride to the city and folks will be prepping by getting some grub starting at 10 a.m.  Detroit’s Tangent Gallery will host the after party,  a special event that will feature performances by several bands as well as Satori Circus. That portion of the event will commence at 8 p.m. with performances starting at 9 p.m. It’s free to riders, but the public is welcome to join the party with the mere cost of a door charge. Come midnight, the club will raffle off a vintage Lambretta LI 150. Sunday morning will end the weekend of festivities, with brunch taking place at the Bosco in Ferndale.   

    The post Rovers Scooter Club Celebrates 10 Years appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Finding that perfect third for that threesome

Unicorn hunters

Photo: Illustration by Lee DeVito., License: N/A

Illustration by Lee DeVito.


Q: I am a single woman, 31, in LA, and on OkCupid. (We all are.) I’ve gotten a number of unicorn requests. (Maybe because I mention being a subscriber to the Savage Lovecast magnum version in my profile?) I’ve never responded — until the other day. One unicorn request stood out. I wrote back. They seem like cool, smart, interesting people (a 40-year-old liberal married couple). Their profile is funny, and they’re quite attractive! And here I am, not doing anything else or anyone else … and I’m thinking … this could be cool. It could be an awesome experience. Why not play around while everything is still slim and perky? But! I have some concerns!

1) Uh … what now? I gave them my number, but I can’t say that I’m definitely a YES on this. I’m also not a NO. What happens now? We meet for drinks? Then what?

2) I’ve never even had a one-night stand. I’ve pretty much always had boyfriends. I don’t know what my question is here, it’s just something I’ve been turning over in my head. I just don’t want to feel like a hooker! (Not that there’s anything wrong with being a sex worker!)

3) I’m not bi. I don’t say that I’m bi on my OkCupid profile. I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would want to put my face in someone’s twat. (I know you understand the feeling.) But I don’t think I have any issue with being on the receiving end. (Maybe? I’ve never been a unicorn!) I’ve done the college playing-around-with-girls thing — topless make-outs for a boyfriend’s viewing pleasure — but nothing crazy.

I think, if I meet them, and if it goes well, I should ask them what their thoughts are about this, if they’ve done it before, what their boundaries are, etc. I would confirm that if anyone feels uncomfortable, everyone involved has the green light to call a stop to the whole thing. I’d also lay out my limitation in regards to the wife. But … should I go for it? What should I do or say? — Future Unicorn Nervously Guessing At Logistics

A: OK, your answers:

1) Meet, have drinks, and talk, FUNGAL — and be sure to tell that nice, funny, attractive couple everything you’ve told us. And then do what any sane person would do: Fuck ’em if it feels right; don’t if it doesn’t.

2) Refuse to accept money in exchange for sex — don’t let the nice couple pay you — and you won’t be a sex worker. (Not that there’s anything wrong with being a sex worker.) And if you’ve only ever had sex in the context of a relationship, and if you want it to stay that way, then make that clear to the nice couple. Developing a relationship with you is a requirement before you can all jump into bed together. And they’ll probably be up for it, FUNGAL, as most couples who are out there looking for unicorns — which is hard work — are seeking a regular, reliable third, i.e., someone they see again and again, someone they can get to know better and come to trust and rely on. A couple with a regular third that they’re emotionally invested in may not be what comes to mind when people hear the word “relationship,” but it is a relationship, and it can be a fun and rewarding one.

3) Again, tell this couple everything you’ve told us. The only reason you hesitate, FUNGAL, is that you fear rejection. Your fear is thoroughly common, completely understandable, and totally irrational. I mean, think about it: The reason you’re hesitating to tell them that you’re not bisexual — that you have no interest in putting your face in a twat (but you’re up for having her face in yours if she’s cool with no-recip oral) — is that you worry you’ll be rejected. What if you’re not what they want? But if they have their hearts set on a unicorn that wants to go facedown in twat, then you’re the wrong unicorn for them. More importantly, FUNGAL, they’re the wrong couple for you. Better to have a nice, clean, honest rejection over cocktails — a mutual recognition that you’re not a match — than to find yourself in bed being pressured to do something you don’t wanna do.

Q: Straight couples looking for a bi female third — someone both partners can share and enjoy — call that person a “unicorn,” a mythical beast, because bi females open to playing with straight/bi couples are so damn rare. What do gay couples looking for a third call the beasts they seek? — Frustrated Longtime Unicorn Seekers Taking Early Retirement

A: We gays don’t have a special term for a guy open to sleeping with a male couple. But if we were going to give that guy an affectionate nickname, FLUSTER, I would go with “horse.” Because a horse, while a magnificent and majestic beast in its own right, is a whole lot easier to come by — and in and on and over — than one of those nearly-impossible-to-find bi female unicorns.

Q: I’m a producer with a Chicago-based production company started by a handful of former Oprah show producers. We specialize in developing unscripted reality-show concepts. We are thinking of producing a show about unicorns, those bisexual women who wish to be “thirds,” and I thought you could possibly help us find women who identify as unicorns and could be potential characters. I look forward to hearing from you! — Hoping Unicorns Not Television Averse

A:  You have two hurdles to clear, HUNTA, as you’re not just looking for unicorns, which are hard enough to find, but unicorns who wanna go on television and talk about being unicorns. (And you’ll probably want telegenic unicorns, too, which would be hurdle No. 3.) But I’m here to help: On the off chance that there are any telegenic unicorns out there reading this who want to be on TV — or any women who want to be on TV so bad that they’ll pretend to be unicorns — send me an e-mail with “TV Unicorn” in the subject line, and I will forward your e-mail on to the unicorn HUNTA.

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