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  • Detroit’s grand bargain still needs Lansing’s approval

    In this week’s Metro Times we took a look at the state legislature’s role in Detroit’s ongoing bankruptcy — in particular, how it must approve a $350 million pledge for the so-called “grand bargain” to remain intact. And, with last night’s announcement of a significant deal between the city and Detroit’s pension boards and retiree groups, the ball is Lansing’s court now. The new deal, first reported by the Freep, would cut general employees monthly pension checks by 4.5 percent and eliminate their cost-of-living increases. Police and fire retirees would see no cuts to monthly checks, while their cost-of-living increases would be reduced from 2.25 percent to 1 percent. Under the original offer, police and fire retirees cuts were as high as 14 percent, with general retirees as high as 34 percent, that is, if the groups rejected the “grand bargain,” an $816 million proposal funded by foundations, the state, and the DIA to shore up pensions. The sweeter deal for pensions, though, it must be noted, entirely relies on the state legislature approving $350 million for Detroit’s bankruptcy.  And while this broke after Metro Times went to press, that was the focal point of this week’s News Hits column — so, it’s worth repeating: The […]

    The post Detroit’s grand bargain still needs Lansing’s approval appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Local releases for Record Store Day on Saturday

    This Saturday, April 19, is Record Store Day, and there is plenty going on in metro Detroit and Michigan. Of special interest to us is Chiodos’ 7” single “R2ME2/Let Me Get You A Towel,” Mayer Hawthorne & Shintaro Skamoto’s 7” “Wine Glass Woman/In a Phantom,” Chuck Inglish & Action Bronson’s 7” “Game Time,” Chuck Inglish & Chance the Rapper’s 7” “Glam,” Chuck Inglish & Chromeo’s 7” “Legs,” Chuck Inglish, Mac Miller & Ab-Soul’s 7” “Easily,” James Williamson’s 7” “Open Up and Bleed/Gimme Some Skin,” Black Milk’s 12” “Glitches in the Break,” Mayer Hawthorne’s 10” “Jaded Inc.,” Wayne Kramer & the Lexington Arts Ensemble’s 12” “Lexington,” and best of all, Ray Parker Jr.’s 10” “Ghostbusters.” We wrote about James Williamson’s release this week. Go shop. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: Local releases for Record Store Day on Saturday appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Margaret Doll Rod to play EP release show in May

    Margaret Doll Rod will celebrate the release of her new EP, Margaret, with a show at PJ’s Lager House on Saturday, May 10. A statement reads, “The EP contains 3 new original songs and one Chrome Cranks cover with Italian actress Asia Argento singing background vocals. Margaret moved to Italy after the end of the Demolition Doll Rods where she still lives touring and performing festivals in Europe. The Dollrods were a Garage Rock force for over 20 years, opening for Iggy, Jon Spencer, The Scientist, The Monks and The Cramps. Margaret was the front person and principal songwriter for The Dollrods. Her chief musical foil was Danny Kroha, who joined the Demolition Doll Rods after the now legendary Gories called it quits. Margaret’s sister, Christine, on drums, rounded out the legendary trio. Margaret will do a special performance in the round that night with a 360 degree revolving stage and special guest DJ Adam Stanfel.” The bill will also feature the Stomp Rockets and the Volcanos. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: Margaret Doll Rod to play EP release show in May appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Music review roundup

    Send CDs, vinyl, cassettes, demos and 8-tracks to Brett Callwood, Metro Times, 1200 Woodward Heights, Ferndale MI 48220. Email MP3s and streaming links to bcallwood@metrotimes.com. Ricky Rat’s Tokyo Pop/Glitter People (New Fortune) 7” single highlights all that’s great about the Trash Brats guitarist, but also his limitations. The man can write a bubblegum rock ’n’ roll song to match anyone in the city and most beyond. He’s also a killer guitarist, ripping out one throwaway riff after another with reckless abandon. He’s a machine. On his own though, without Trash Brats frontman Brian McCarty, his voice doesn’t have enough strength to do the songs justice. Not that you need to have the greatest voice in the world to sing this stuff – you don’t need to be able to perform vocal gymnastics – but you do have to be able to wail the tunes out. Both of the songs on this single are great, but you can’t help but wonder how much better they would sound with McCarty or somebody similar talking the mic. Still, as they are the songs are great fun. We’re just being picky. The Paper Sound’s Trajectories is a dense, atypically dark Americana-tinged album, unrelenting and […]

    The post City Slang: Music review roundup appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit launches website to auction city-owned homes

    “Neighbors wanted.” That’s the message on the homepage of buildingdetroit.org, a new website launched by the City of Detroit today to auction off city-owned homes to prospective buyers who pledge to fix them up and move in. “We are moving aggressively to take these abandoned homes and get families living in them again,” Mayor Mike Duggan said in a statement today. “There are a lot of people who would love to move into many of our neighborhoods. Knowing that other people are going to be buying and fixing up the other vacant homes at the same time will make it a lot easier for them to make that commitment.” The website to facilitate the auctions went live this afternoon. The first auction is scheduled to take place Monday, May 5. Officials said in a news release that one home will be auctioned per day, Monday through Friday. Fifteen homes are available for sale on the site, a dozen of which are in the East English Village neighborhood. Any Michigan resident, company, or organization that can do business in the state can bid, according to the website. Properties will be for sale for only one day, with bidding taking place from 8 […]

    The post Detroit launches website to auction city-owned homes appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Tickets for Steven Spielberg, John Williams summer concert sell out in 15 minutes

    In case you haven’t heard, two of the biggest names in film, Steven Spielberg and John Williams, are collaborating to put on a benefit concert for the Detroit Symphony Orchestra this summer. In case you wanted to go- well, you’re too damn late. The DSO says tickets to the June 14 concert were snapped up in a record-breaking 15 minutes after they went on sale at 9 a.m. today. The DSO has since released this statement to fans who didn’t snag seats: Our apologies to everyone who was unable to buy tickets this morning for our historic benefit concert featuring John Williams and Steven Spielberg. Despite increasing our phone and internet system capacity for the day, a surge of hundreds of ticket buyers purchased tickets in a matter of minutes, filling the phone lines and temporarily maxing out our web servers. After a one-hour pre-sale made available to donors and subscribers at 8am, we released additional seats at 9am to the general public, including seats available for as low as $30. All seats sold out immediately. The concert program seems nothing short of top notch: Williams will conduct the orchestra as it performs some of his most iconic tunes, such […]

    The post Tickets for Steven Spielberg, John Williams summer concert sell out in 15 minutes appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Enema Kits and Missing Clits

Aging vaginas, their care and keeping.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


Q:

 I am a married 54-year-old postmenopausal woman. My libido has diminished significantly, and it takes me much longer to climax. My husband gets tired sooner and is unable to maintain an erection as long as he used to; this makes it even more difficult for me to climax. I have taken up an activity I did in my 20s when I was single: giving myself enemas. The enema-induced orgasms are fantastic. It’s not an obsessive habit. I’ll sometimes do it four times in one week and then go a month without one. Am I doing any harm to my body by doing frequent quart-size soapy enemas using a retention balloon nozzle and holding it as long as possible and then masturbating as I expel? Will a doctor be able to tell what I’ve been up to when it’s time for a colonoscopy? I would die if a doctor figured it out. —Frustrated Lady Earnestly Enquires Today

A:

 “Women need to understand that our sexualities change throughout life,” says Dr. Leah Torres, a general obstetrician and gynecologist with a special focus on family planning. “What once was will not always be. That said, menopause can be tricky, but one can adapt to changes that may occur. There are medications and lubricants and all sorts of tricks.”

Yeah, yeah — but what about the freakin’ enemas, doc?

“The enemas are not harmful as long as they are not painful, though this practice may change the balance of bacteria that normally live in the colon and may make one more susceptible to changes in bowel movements,” says Dr. Torres.

As for your fear of being discovered, FLEET, Dr. Torres says you should be able to rely on your doc’s professionalism. “I have not seen many colonoscopies, so I would not know a physician’s ability to determine a person’s level of enema activity,” says Dr. Torres. “But as a physician who prides herself in building trust with patients, I would never disclose my knowledge of sexual activities that may make my patient uncomfortable or embarrassed unless there is a concern for her health or it directly affects her care.”

If it would really and truly kill you if your doc figured it out, FLEET, how about a face-and-rump-saving white lie? Mention the fact that you’re administering enemas to yourself, leaving the masturbate-as-you-expel bit out, and ask your doc if that’s a problem. “She can ask her doctor an ‘innocent’ question such as ‘When I feel constipated, I give myself an enema. Is that dangerous?’” says Dr. Torres. “No need to mention masturbation, and the doctor’s answer may allay her other concerns.”

Q:

 My mother cannot find her clit. I’m serious. She’s 80 years old, quite fit, and otherwise anatomically correct, but she noticed about a week back that she couldn’t find her clit. She went to her gyno and told him, and he didn’t seem shocked. She isn’t sexually active, but she’d like to keep as many of her original parts as she can. I searched online and couldn’t find much about missing clits. I’ve told her that no news is good news, but you try living with a clitless mother! —Help My Mother Find Her Clit

A:

 “It is normal for the vagina, and the parts within and around the vagina, to atrophy with age,” says Dr. Torres. “And women who have gone through menopause have very little estrogen. For the lady parts, estrogen is crucial in upkeeping the healthy, youthful appearance of vaginal and labial tissues as well as for the laxity of the vagina.”

But there’s one thing that doesn’t happen during menopause.

“Women do not ‘lose’ their clitorises,” Dr. Torres says. “The majority of the clitoris is located inside the body, but women recognize the ‘clitoral glans’ as the clitoris. This may become smaller with age, making it seem as though the clitoris has disappeared. But let me be clear: The clitoris never goes away.”

So your mom isn’t clitless, HMMFHC. Her clit is down there somewhere. It’s just smaller and grayer than it used to be — just like your mom.

Q:

 My husband and I both hit 40 this year. We are one of those straight couples that have been together since high school. We were kinky right from the start, became involved in the BDSM community in our 20s, and found ourselves in a poly relationship before we even knew that was an option. After years of struggling with polycystic ovary syndrome, I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago, and I’ve had a hard time getting regulated with hormone replacement. There was a lot of extra bodily trauma with my surgery, and I’ve been trying to be patient in getting back into my sexual self, but it’s been a struggle. I’m mostly happy with other parts of my life, but I have no interest anymore in kink, especially D/s, and I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how I could go from being a pain slut to not even liking to have my hair pulled. I wouldn’t say that I’ve totally lost interest in sex, but I don’t have the driving need for it that I used to. I haven’t had luck talking to my ob-gyns. If I’m not having hot flashes, in their opinion, I shouldn’t mess with it. My boyfriend has been supportive, but I’m having a hard time talking to my husband, since his girlfriend is menopause age and as much of a nympho as ever. He sees my lack of interest in sex as a lack of interest in him. —Too Young To Be Old

A:

 “Society makes talking about sex taboo, and that taboo can invade the clinic room and adversely affect the doctor-patient relationship,” says Dr. Torres.

Dr. Torres is a professional and she’s being polite — professional courtesy and like that. Allow me to translate: The doctor is saying that your current ob-gyns suck santorum-smeared donkey balls, TYTBO. If your docs are unwilling to discuss and prioritize your sex life — and your sexual fulfillment and your sexual relationships — you need to get new ob-gyns.

“If a patient comes to me with changes in sexual function that concern her and she wants addressed,” Dr. Torres continues, “it is the same as if she came to me with ‘it hurts right here, doc.’ It is something that needs investigating. Having a hysterectomy often includes removing the ovaries, which is equivalent to inducing menopause. No ovaries = no estrogen = menopause. Even if you still have your ovaries, their function may be affected by a hysterectomy. This can affect the libido or it may have no effect whatsoever. Everyone is different. Also, after major surgery, particularly after a difficult and prolonged recovery, people may not enjoy sex the same way they used to for a variety of reasons. For this woman, pain may now be associated with the struggle to recover as opposed to what it used to be associated with: orgasm.”

So what does the doctor recommend?

“There are options other than female hormone replacement therapy for treating hypoactive sexual desire,” says Dr. Torres, “and it may be a good idea to consult a specialist in sexual health.”

Dr. Torres is a superstar on Twitter, where she regularly posts about women’s health issues and smacks down anti-choice trolls @LeahNTorres. She also blogs at leahtorres.com.

The Washington Postcalls my new book, American Savage,“an extraordinarily personal, deeply felt book about traditional marriage, authentic and healthy religion, and a traditional sex life.”

This week on the Savage Lovecast, Dan Savage chats with Mollena Williams (aka the Perverted Negress) about meeting kinksters; find it at savagelovecast.com.

Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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