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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Distaff Drama

A lost little lesbian, an insecure girlfriend, and a narcissistic douche bag.

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Q:

 I’m a 27-year-old bisexual chick who just moved in with my girlfriend of 10 months. I love her very much, and this is a great relationship — hot sex, laughs, good conversation. Here’s the thing: I like to smoke pot, and pot makes her very uncomfortable. We’ve talked about it a lot — you know how dykes are — and I’ve been up-front with her from the beginning. I’m responsible and successful, and I don’t smoke that often. But I don’t like feeling guilty. I’m afraid we’re reaching an impasse on this issue. I’ve considered banishing pot from my life, but I know that some part of me would always resent her for not letting me be who I am. To her credit, she doesn’t want me to stop smoking, but she gets angry and blames herself for the whole problem. I feel like I’m asking her to change a pretty fundamental belief and I don’t know how fair that is. Basically, I need some perspective. Am I being an asshole? —Distraught Kentucky Dyke

 

A:

 What is it about lesbianism — even in cases of lesbian-identified bi chicks — that renders a person incapable of taking yes for an answer? (Or maybe it’s cunnilingus? Does Michael Douglas have the same problem?) Your girlfriend isn’t asking you to stop smoking pot, she recognizes that she’s the one in this relationship with a drug problem, and over time (it’s only been 10 months!) she’ll probably get over these OMFG-my-girlfriend-smokes-pot panic attacks. She’s giving you a great big yes, DKD, and I think you should take it. But if you insist on viewing this as a problem that must be solved — if you insist on being a couple of cliché lesbians who feel they have to operate their relationship on the consensus model or someone is being oppressed — then this issue will be an endless source of anxiety and drama. Better to agree to disagree, smoke when the girlfriend isn’t around, and remember to return the favor when the time comes, i.e., agree to let her enjoy something that you don’t without pitching fits about it.

 

Q:

 I’m a lost little lesbian. I have been with my partner for the past four years. She’s 27 and I’m 26. These have been four magical years. We love each other, our parents are happy for us, and we make a great team. My girlfriend deployed to Afghanistan, and I was an angel for the first four months of her deployment. But then I hit a rocky spot. After an argument on Skype, I went to confide in a friend — seriously, confide, that was it. My friend and I cooked dinner, drank, and chatted. The next thing I knew, it was 5 a.m. and I was on the couch half-dressed. I never told my girlfriend. Part of me wanted to, but the moment she got off the plane and dropped to one knee, I knew I’d be keeping my indiscretion a secret. Seven months after my first slipup, we found out that she’d be leaving again. During her second deployment, I ended up out on the town with friends and was heavily intoxicated. Cutting to the chase: I slept with a random person. I did the same thing again five months later. So I have cheated three times. None of these people meant anything to me. My girlfriend is back, and this is the happiest I’ve ever seen her. We are planning a wedding, and I can’t bring myself to break her heart. Many nights I find it impossible to sleep. I have identified that drinking is a major problem and I am finished with it. I know that the things I have done will never happen again, and I want to spare her that hurt. How do I get past all the mistakes I’ve made so that I can love her the way she deserves to be loved? —Army Wife In Training

 

A:

 By giving yourself a break, AWIT. You were drunk, you were lonely, and you were unmarried. OK, you weren’t exactly single at the time, it’s true, and you did a shitty thing … and another shitty thing … and another shitty thing. You can look on those three shitty things as unforgivable betrayals (and as prologue) or you can look at them as important life lessons you learned before making a formal and (hopefully) final commitment to your fiancee. Resolve to stay away from booze, go get tested for STIs, and stuff those ill-advised, booze-soaked, pre-exchange-of-vows experiences down the memory hole.

 

Q:

 My girlfriend of one month is a professional dominant. I was OK with it because I assumed all her clients were men. (We are lesbians.) It turns out that three different straight couples are regular clients. I feel she should have proactively disclosed this information to me. Can I insist that she stop seeing male-female couples? —The Only Woman In Her Life

 

A:

 You can insist on anything you like, TOWIHL, and then your girlfriend can decide whether she’s willing to sacrifice six established clients for a controlling, insecure girlfriend that she’s known for only a month. Since building a regular clientele represents financial and physical safety to many sex workers, your new girlfriend is unlikely to choose you over six established clients. So brace yourself for the dump that’s very likely coming your way.

 

Q:

 Hi there, faggot! Whiny dyke here! I’m queer and mostly into women, but with a severe attraction to one particular guy. We’re close friends and hang out all the time. He’s great. A few weeks ago, he came back to my place and we made out for 15 minutes before he said that he’s not really attracted to me. We made out a little more. A few days later, he told me again that he’s not physically attracted to me. We have always been really touchy, we’re shirtless around each other a lot, and I’m struggling to believe him when he says he’s not physically attracted to me. How do you make out with someone you don’t find physically attractive? Further developments: There have been two recent instances in which he moved in on a woman I had expressed an interest in. I told him off about this, and he said he won’t do it again, but doesn’t that say something about him? Is there some kind of combo of competition, subconsciously trying to keep me unlaid, or voodoo connection? Am I just being paranoid? —Wants Hetero Affections Tamed

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We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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