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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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SAVAGE LOVE

Clueless and Clitorless

classism and snobbery, finding what’s missing, getting over it

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Q:

 I’m a 23-year-old homo who came out one year ago. Life has done good and bad things to me. Good things include success in the intelligence lottery, a full ride to college and, now, a job with a six-figure income. Sadly, I find that my place in life is different from the place occupied by most other young gay men. When meeting someone, I am often bummed to discover that they are in a state of transience (between cities, between degrees), or I’m bummed because I detect a difference in socioeconomic upbringing or status that will make it hard for us to relate to each other, or I’m bummed because they are not as smart as I am. Most often, I’m bummed over a combination of all these things.

These thoughts sap my interest in new people, telling me that “it just wouldn’t work.” Am I right to think that and keep looking, or should I do some substantial “rounding up to one” and go on that second date, even though the odds of compatibility seem slim?—Lots Of First Dates

A:

 I’m tempted to tell you not to go on “that second date” with anyone you feel is beneath you intellectually, socioeconomically or status- or upbringing-wise — not to spare you his ghastly company, LOFD, but to spare him the ghastliness of yours.

Look, Gloria Upson, if dating gay men your own age means exposing yourself to guys who are in “states of transience” — completely normal states for dudes in their early 20s — then date guys in their 30s and 40s. Not that dating older guys is a surefire recipe for romantic success: Your snobbery, classism and elitism are so repulsive that most older guys will be blocking your number before you can call about a second date.

Andrew Sullivan wrote a beautiful post at The Dish a few weeks ago about the egalitarianism of getting laid. He recalled dancing all night in a gay club full of African-American guys back when he was a “cute twinky English schoolboy.” And Andrew didn’t just dance with the black guys he encountered after moving to Washington, D.C.

“There’s nothing like dating or fucking a person of another background, race or class to help you see the humanity in everyone,” Andrew wrote. “How do you get scared of generic young black men when you’ve danced with them all night long? … In that sense, I’ve always felt that being gay was a real moral blessing. I could have been so much worse a human being if I’d been straight.”

You’re young, LOFD, and I’m being hard on you. I don’t mean to step on your ping-pong ball. But if you don’t get a grip on your classism and snobbery, you will become so much worse a human being than you need to be. So snap the fuck out of it, OK?

And remember: We gay people are a tiny, tiny minority. If you reject as potential partners, friends and fuck buddies all gay men who aren’t of your exact same class, education level, social status (ugh) — or salary level (barf) — LOFD, you won’t be left with many guys to date, hang out with or fuck.

Q:

 I recently started dating a 26-year-old female. I was a little surprised when she told me that she gets nothing out of oral sex, as that has been my typical method for getting my past partners off.

Eventually, I was to discover that this was because she has no external glans (clitoris hood/head). It’s just smooth skin where a clit would be. I was shocked when she showed me. She is probably the easiest person I’ve ever met to get to orgasm (thank god!), so this isn’t a problem, just a mystery. I know that the clitoris is much larger than just the part you can see — the “head” — and she gets off on the feeling of pressure on and around where the glans would normally be, so I’m sure she has developed nerves and, I guess, has a clit under the skin. She assumed this was common enough, as none of her gynecologists has ever brought it to her attention. Have you ever heard of this? Is it common? —Clitorless Lad In Torment

A:

 “It’s pretty rare, but, yes, it happens,” said Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute, the author of Sex Made Easy (among other books), a frequent guest expert for Savage Love — and the only woman who has ever chased me around a room with a vulva puppet.

When a woman doesn’t have an exposed clitoral glans, “there’s usually other genital parts that haven’t developed or have developed in atypical ways,” said Herbenick. “But there have been a few case reports in which the women had other typically developed genital parts — labia, etc. — while the clitoris alone is missing or very small. Some of these women report erotic sensation in the clitoral area.”

Should your girlfriend talk to a doctor about it?

“I haven’t seen this woman’s genitals specifically,” said Herbenick, “but sometimes there is atrophy or even ‘coverage’ of the clitoris (for example, the hood fuses over the glans partially or completely) due to vulvar skin disorders such as lichen sclerosus. Some children have LS, and often it goes undiagnosed for years and, without treatment, her clitoral hood could have fused over the glans. A dermatologist or gynecologist knowledgeable about vulvar dermatoses could look into this possibility via a very small biopsy. (Doctors with expertise in vulvar health can be found through issvd.org.)”

Follow Dr. Herbenick on Twitter @DebbyHerbenick.

Q:

 My girlfriend and I have a vibrant relationship. Sex is great and adventurous when we have it, but I have one small issue that clouds up the sexual chemistry and turns me into a somber theologian: Since the earliest days of my childhood, I was told by my family that abortion was a horrible, horrible thing. And that thought has complicated my relationships. I simply don’t know how to get past this thought and indulge my partner and myself sexually without feeling uncertain about the possible outcome of our getting funky. I feel awful that my girlfriend has to deal with this moral panic of mine and I’m sick of putting her through it. Help! —Bummed About Bad Experiences

A:

 Some suggestions: Use a hormonal birth control method and a condom and pull out before you come. Don’t have penis-in-vagina intercourse — you can stick to oral sex, mutual masturbation and doing her in the butt (if being done in the butt is something your girlfriend enjoys). Deposit a few loads at a sperm bank, keep ’em on ice until you want kids and get a vasectomy.

Or, hey, you could learn more about abortion while continuing to act responsibly, i.e., using birth control and condoms. Abortion is not a horrible, horrible thing. It is a medical, medical thing.

This week on the Savage Lovecast, the appalling crisis of homeless LGBT youth, at savagelovecast.com

Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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