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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Best foot forward

Yes, I am a foot fetishist

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


Q:

 I’m an actor in New York City. A lot of people think actors are whores, but last week I almost became one. I responded to a casting call for a film project called Sniff. The ad — on Playbill’s website — called for two male actors to film a short scene. The pay was $100 for a day’s work. I was emailed the scene to study. It starts with two male roommates chatting on a couch. The bigger, more muscular roommate confronts the smaller, scrawnier roommate about his obsession with socks. Two pages later, the smaller roommate is being ordered to sniff, lick and caress the larger roommate’s feet. The scene ends with the smaller roommate being forced to hold the bigger roommate’s big toes in the corners of his mouth while smiling for the camera. Write a screenplay and hire actors — is this something foot fetishists do to make low-budget softcore porn? I’m not a hater of fetishists, but it is a little strange to see something like this in a casting ad. —Freaked-Out Oblivious Thespian

P.S. The audition was surprisingly normal. I wasn’t asked to remove my clothes or lick any feet. I wasn’t cast. After the audition, the director requested a picture of my feet via e-mail. I did not send him one.

A:

 “Yes, I am a foot fetishist,” said Anthony Fusco, the writer and director of Sniff and the person for whom you auditioned. “I’m also a theater person.” I reached Fusco the same way you did: through the contact info in the audition notice in Playbill. It turns out that Sniff is one scene in Big Naked Feet, a five-scene, one-act comedy that Fusco wrote, directed and produced at a small venue in New York in 2008. “We got a good response,” Fusco told me. “We had full houses; people walked away smiling.” Big Naked Feet isn’t Fusco’s only play. Another of his plays — Crossing Verrazano — was produced as part of the Strawberry One-Act Festival in 2011.

I told Fusco that his six-page script for Sniff read like fetish porn (“Good dog, Paul, now take a step back and just stare at the beauty of my manly feet!”) and that his audition notice had my bullshit detectors going off. It would be a lot cheaper for a foot fetishist to pay two actors to bring his fantasies to life than, say, two male escorts. You can find good-looking actors who’ll work for $100 a day. A good-looking male escort, on the other hand, will run you $1,000 or more a day. But Fusco insisted the video is intended as promo material for a planned remount of Big Naked Feet, not foot-fetish fap material.

But, come on, one hot guy going to town on another hot guy’s feet? Wouldn’t Fusco beat off to that? Wouldn’t any foot fetishist? “I’m so used to this stuff,” he said, “it’s nothing new to me. I’m not going to say it can’t be exciting or a turn-on. So it depends on how the final product turns out, I guess, and how it looks.”

And … scene.

P.S. Coincidentally, FOOT, after our interview, Fusco requested a picture of my feet via e-mail. And I sent him one — because, hey, why not?

 

Q:

 My boyfriend is HIV-positive and I am not. We haven’t been intimate yet because he’s not ready. He blames his HIV for everything. I know HIV is very serious, but I have some questions. I can’t ask anyone I know without spilling his secret. If he misses taking his meds by 10 minutes, will it seriously affect his health? He has forced me to leave movies early, refused to go to work functions with me, and even missed my birthday because we would miss his 10 p.m. med schedule. Anything that goes bad in our relationship, he blames it on the fact that he is positive and I am not. I feel like he manipulates me with his illness. —Positively Flustered

A:

 “My answer to PF’s question — will his boyfriend’s health be affected if he takes his meds 10 minutes late — is a resounding no,” said Peter Shalit, a doctor, author, and public speaker who has been treating HIV patients for 25 years. “Modern HIV meds have a lot of flexibility around when they are taken. His boyfriend can also carry the meds in his pocket if he’s so OCD that he has to take them at the same exact minute every day.”

Dr. Shalit doesn’t think HIV is the problem here. “His boyfriend needs to stop blaming everything on his HIV, deal with it, and get on with his life,” he said. “My advice to patients taking meds for HIV: The daily act of taking your meds should have as much impact in your life as the daily act of brushing your teeth. How would it sound if someone said, ‘I can’t come to your birthday party because I need to brush my teeth’? It sounds like he is using his HIV as a weapon.”

Dr. Shalit and I both wonder why you put up with this guy. “He doesn’t sound very pleasant to be around,” said Dr. Shalit, and I agree. End this relationship — not because your boyfriend is poz, but because he’s an asshole.

 

Q:

 I met a boy on an online sports forum, and I’ve fallen for him. And from what I can tell, he’s fallen for me. The problem is that early in our relationship, he expressed certain attitudes about race that caused me to not be 100 percent honest with him. It turns out that he dislikes men of color and feels they are responsible for many of the problems in this world. Upon discovering this, I claimed to be white and even went so far as to use Photoshop to make myself appear white in the pics I sent him. I’m not black, but I am not white. And now that our relationship has come to the point where a meeting is planned, I am absolutely distraught. He is always so kind and loving, but when he makes comments about “ashy knees” and “big ethnic noses,” I cry inside. We’ve been together for a while, and I know he loves me, but I fear that he might not see past my skin color. He’s young and Canadian, and I believe that he can overcome this. How do I go about confessing? Do I just show up to meet him at LAX, smile, and hope for the best? —Lost And Worried

A:

 First off, LAW, you’re not in a relationship. You’ve never met this person — excuse me, you’ve never met this racist piece of shit — and while two people can get to know each other via email, two people who’ve never actually met are not “together.” You were alone in your room with your laptop the whole time, LAW, lying to a racist piece of shit and deluding and undervaluing yourself.

My advice: Call off the meeting and send the racist piece of shit your actual, unretouched pics, along with an email that begins with something like “I don’t know what I was thinking getting involved with you,” and ends with something like “Now go fuck yourself, you racist piece of shit.” Trust me, you’ll feel better about this “relationship” if you dump the racist piece of shit before he has a chance to dump you.

 

Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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