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  • Detroit website offers stats, updates on city operations

    Interested in reading about what Detroit accomplishes on a week-to-week basis that’s produced by the city itself? Great. You can do that now, here, at the Detroit Dashboard. Every Thursday morning, the city will publish an update to the dashboard because Mayor Mike Duggan loves metrics, even if the data might be hard to come by. According to Duggan’s office, the dashboard will provide data on how many LED street lights were installed, how many vacant lots were mowed, how much blight was removed, and more. This week, the city says it has sold 13 site lots through BuildingDetroit.com, removed 570 tons of illegal dumping, and filed 57 lawsuits against abandoned property owners.  

    The post Detroit website offers stats, updates on city operations appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Long John Silver’s makes nod to Nancy Whiskey in YouTube commercial

    We don’t know about you, but usually Nancy Whiskey and Long John Silver’s aren’t two concepts we’d place in the same sentence. However, the international fast food fish fry conglomerate made a nod to the Detroit dive in their latest YouTube commercial. LJS is offering free fish fries on Saturday, August 2, which is the promotion the commercial is attempting to deliver. But, we think we’ll just go to Nancy Whiskey instead.

    The post Long John Silver’s makes nod to Nancy Whiskey in YouTube commercial appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Michigan’s women-only music fest still shuns transwomen

    We came across an interesting item this week: Apparently, a music festival with the name “Michfest” is quietly oriented as a “Women-Only Festival Exclusively for ‘Women Born Women.’” It seems a strange decision to us. If you wanted to have a women-only music festival, why not simply proclaim loud and clear that it is for all sorts of women? But if you really wanted to become a lightning rod for criticisms about transphobia, organizers have found the perfect way to present their festival. Now, we know that defenders of non-cisgender folks have it tough. The strides made by gays and lesbians (and bisexuals) in the last 20 years have been decisive and dramatic. But the people who put the ‘T’ in LGBT have reason to be especially defensive, facing a hostile culture and even some disdain from people who should be their natural allies. That said, sometimes that defensiveness can cause some activists to go overboard; when we interviewed Dan Savage a couple years ago, he recalled his “glitter bombing” and said it was due to the “the narcissism of small differences,” adding that “if you’re playing the game of who is the most victimized, attacking your real enemies doesn’t prove you’re most victimized, claiming you […]

    The post Michigan’s women-only music fest still shuns transwomen appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Use this widget to find your polling place for Aug. 5 primary election

    Reminder: the August 5 primary election is coming up. Where do you vote? What’s on the ballot? All these questions can be easily answered by simply typing the address you are registered to vote at into this handy widget created by Pew Charitable Trusts and Google: You can embed this widget on your own website with the following code, and more information can be found at the Voting Info Project.: <script type=”text/javascript” src=”https://voter-info-tool.appspot.com/js/loader.js”></script> <div id=”_vit”></div> <script type=”text/javascript”>vit.load({‘election_id’:’4034′, ‘suppress_voter_id_rules’: true});</script> Read up on MT‘s election guide for Wayne county executive here.

    The post Use this widget to find your polling place for Aug. 5 primary election appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Thank you, Detroit

    I’m not going to lie to you – this isn’t easy. This week, the final City Slang local music column will be published in the Metro Times (on hardcore band Final Assault), and I have just submitted a cover feature on the women of Detroit hip-hop, to be published next week (8/6). This blog that you’re reading now will be my last one as a regular MT contributor. I have a lot to look forward to. I’m going to be an associate editor at Yellow Scene Magazine in Colorado, a tremendous publication in a beautiful part of the country. But leaving Detroit will be incredibly difficult for me. I love the place. It’s been (amazingly) six and a half years since I arrived, a couple of cases in hand and not much of a plan in mind. I just knew, after three separate research trips for books and a magazine article, that I felt at home here. Metro Times offered me freelance work almost immediately, as did a new website called Metromix (whatever happened to that?) When I arrived here, I had been working as a writer in the UK for nine years, but the help and encouragement I received […]

    The post Thank you, Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers

      We here at MT will be delighted when Mr. Jack White throws out a pitch at Navin Field (at least, we hope he will), but until then, we’ll be happy with his pitch to Santa this evening at Comerica Park.    

    The post Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Advice for depressed virgins, bi girls in hetero relationships

Anger issues.

Photo: Courtesy Photo, License: N/A

Courtesy Photo


Q: I’m 21 and still a virgin. I also have depression. I’m not bad-looking. I work out and generally keep people laughing. I got a lot of female attention in school, but I was hopeless and still am. Most of my friends have girlfriends, so I don’t understand why I haven’t had a girlfriend since I was 10. I feel myself becoming increasingly violent, to the extent that I have tried to provoke a fight that wasn’t necessary, and I try to intimidate other guys when I’m out. I’ve been unemployed for three years since dropping out of college, and I haven’t really met a girl I was interested in since school. I’ve never made the first move with girls. I never feel compelled to, regardless of how attractive I find them. I do get a lot of eye contact from girls, and I’ve been approached by girls, but we barely ever get past exchanging names before they wander off or their friends pull them away. Writing this out has made me realize I should start approaching girls, but I don’t think it’s just that. Surely I should’ve met someone by now? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. —Hopeless Over Painful Experience

A: Women typically expect the guy to do the approaching, asking out and hitting on, HOPE, so that’s definitely something you’ll have to work on. And if a woman is making eye contact with you in a space where it’s generally understood that people are open to meeting new people, flirting with them, and potentially fucking them (house parties, bars, clubs, CPAC), eye contact is an invitation to introduce yourself.

But if women are approaching you and then “wandering off” after conversing with you for a moment or two — or being rescued by their friends — then you’re doing something wrong. I’m guessing you came across as angry and potentially violent because you are angry and potentially violent, and you’ve made a self-defeating decision to cultivate an intimidating vibe. That shit repels people, HOPE, and you’re never going to get anywhere with women — or employers, for that matter — if you give yourself over to anger, violence and menace. Bearing this in mind might take the edge off your anger: Fully 15 percent of 21-year-old men are virgins, HOPE, while only 5 percent of 25-year-old men are virgins. So you have a better than 66 percent chance of losing your virginity in the next few years if you can stop 1) wallowing in self-pity and 2) giving yourself over to anger.

My advice: Get your ass to a doctor and a therapist. Medication can help with the depression, and a good therapist can help you overcome your anger, self-pity and violent fantasies. Getting help, HOPE, is the best way to increase your odds of getting laid or getting a girlfriend — or both.

Q: I’m a 25-year-old bi girl in the Southwest, and I’ve been with the same hetero guy for almost three years. I miss being with women. We made an attempt at being monogamish, but feelings were hurt and we went back to monogamy. He still parties like he’s in college and is a bit dependent on me — socially — whereas I crave independence and, quite frankly, pussy. I’ve started to withdraw and resent him, not just for the lack of sexual freedom but also because he drinks too much and acts like a slob. I want to move out when our lease ends. I’m willing to work on our issues, but I fear that when I have this conversation, it will break his heart and he will break up with me as a defensive approach, rather than seeing the breathing room as a way to work on our relationship. How can I express my need for other sexual partners and more space without sounding like I’m calling off the relationship? Is it even worth attempting dating, post-living together? —Insert Quirky Acronym Here

A: Here’s what you should say to your boyfriend: “You’ve got some growing up to do, and I’ve got some eating pussy to do. I don’t want to end our relationship, but I’m moving out when our lease is up.” If your boyfriend breaks up with you, IQAH, it’s probably for the best — and it may not be forever. If he does dump you for purely defensive reasons, then he didn’t really want to dump you at all, right? So once the shock wears off and his anger subsides, your boyfriend may decide that having you in his life is more important than having you all to himself.

Q: I am a heterosexual male. I was dating this girl for six months. We weren’t living together, but there were two toothbrushes at my place. We weren’t living together, but there were tampons and birth control pills in my medicine cabinet. We weren’t living together, but there was yogurt in my fridge. You get the picture. Anyway, things were going well until she told me about a friend-of-a-friend who was building a website for a local “swingers club.” I didn’t get outraged, and this outraged her. A four-hour discussion followed, during which I held my “good for them” ground, and at the end of it, I no longer had yogurt, tampons and birth control pills at my place — and I no longer had a girlfriend. All I did was not get outraged, and it cost me a girlfriend. Does this seem a little extreme? Am I crazy? —Her Ex Looks Perplexed

A: No, HELP, you’re not crazy. You’re lucky.

Send that friend-of-a-friend a thank-you note. Because if he weren’t building a website for a swingers club, HELP, you might still have tampons, yogurt and scented soaps in your apartment — along with the crazy, controlling, insecure nutjob who came with ’em.

Q: During my last relationship, I finally got to explore the kinkier side of my libido. My partner and I went to pro doms and sex clubs, and I got to watch my buddy fuck her. While the relationship was ill-fated, sex was not the problem. One year and some heartache later, I’m ready to date. But I don’t want a vanilla sexual relationship again. My problem is, I don’t know how to integrate this into my dating life. People ask to set me up, and I keep turning them down ’cause I feel like I don’t want to get involved with someone unless I know that we’re sexually compatible. And yet, I feel some internal angst about using FetLife or similar sites for dating, as if somehow I’m making sex paramount. —Nervously Avoiding Intriguing Vanilla Entanglements

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