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  • Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor

    Detroit home-girl Lily Tomlin will perform at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor on Saturday, June 14. A press release reads, “Get together with Lily Tomlin for an unforgettable night of fun and sidesplitting laughter. “Tomlin is amazing” The NY Times and “as always a revelation.” The New Yorker This unique comic artist takes her audience on what the Washington Post calls a “wise and howlingly funny” trip with more than a dozen of her timeless characters—from Ernestine to Mrs. Beasley to Edith Ann.” “With astounding skill and energy, Tomlin zaps through the channels like a human remote control. Using a fantastic range of voices, gestures and movements, she conjures up the cast of characters with all the apparent ease of a magician pulling a whole menagerie of animals from a single hat.” NY Daily News “Her gentle touch is as comforting as it is edifying.” NY Time Out She has “made the one-person show the daring, irreverent art form it is today.” Newsweek Her long list of awards includes: a Grammy; two Tonys; six Emmys; an Oscar nomination; two Peabodys; and the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Find more info here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor

    The Detroit Metro Times, Detroit’s award-winning alternative weekly media company, is proud to announce the recent hire of Valerie Vande Panne as Editor-in-Chief. An award-winning independent journalist and Michigan native, Vande Panne’s work has appeared in Crain’s Detroit Business, The Daily Beast, and Salon, among other publications. Previously, Vande Panne attended Harvard University and was a regular contributor to The Boston Phoenix, and a news editor of High Times magazine. She has spent years covering drug policy among other subjects, including the environment, culture, lifestyle, extreme sports, and academia. “Valerie understands our business and what we expect to accomplish in Detroit. She has an excellent sense for stories that will move our readers, as well as experience with balancing print and digital content. I’m excited to have her at the paper and trust her leadership as we move forward,” said Detroit Metro Times publisher Chris Keating.

    The post Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’

    She welcomes you when you enter Detroit, from every direction, with the one word that might just be Detroit’s biggest philosophical question: Injured? Joumana Kayrouz is deeper than the inflated image watching over Detroit, peddling justice to the poor and broken of the city. This Wednesday, Drew Philp takes us behind the billboard and into the heart of the Kayrouz quest. (And all of Brian Rozman’s photos of Kayrouz have not been retouched.) Check out MT‘s cover story, on newsstands Wednesday!

    The post Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt

    There was a fire in an upstairs apartment at PJ’s Lager House on Monday evening. No people were hurt, although three cats belonging to the tenants died after CPR. The fire broke out around 10:30 p.m. during a show featuring Zombie Jesus & the Chocolate Sunshine Band, Curtin, and Jeffrey Jablonsky. “We just smelled smoke and someone yelled everyone has to get out,” 33-year-old Nick Leu told MLive. On the Lager House Facebook page in the early hours of the morning, a post said, “We at PJ’s lager House would like to thank everyone for their care and concern. Also, a very big THANK YOU to all who stepped up to do what they could this evening. The fire was contained to the upstairs but due to water damage in the bar, we will be closed until it can be assessed. Everyone is safe and we will keep you updated.” A later update read, “Update from the big boss. Since there was no damage to the stage side of the bar, the show will go on tomorrow! You may have to enter through the back door and there may not be a large selection of booze but we are going […]

    The post Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Music review roundup

    Send CDs, vinyl, cassettes, demos and 8-tracks to Brett Callwood, Metro Times, 1200 Woodward Heights, Ferndale MI 48220. Email MP3s and streaming links to bcallwood@metrotimes.com. The Sugar Clouds’ Partners Don’t Do That (They Watch and be Amazed) (Wax Splat) is a nostalgic look at the psychedelic days of ’60s grooviness. Even the album cover looks like a lava lamp. The male-female vocals have a sort of Jefferson Airplane feel, and the songs are blessed with both sugary sweet pop melodies and a garage-y earthiness. The story of the band’s formation is rather interesting; the two vocalists, Greg and Melissa Host, are a divorced couple who wrote the songs in their living room. The band is still together, so this divorce was a hell of a lot more civil than any we’ve ever known of. Steffanie Christi’an has friends in fairly high places. Her new Way Too Much mini-album is being put out by Nadir Omowale’s Distorted Soul label, and she is also a regular feature on Jessica Care Moore’s Black Women Rock revue. Maybe the choice of cover image isn’t the best – she looks a bit like a Tina Turner tribute act here. But that can and should be […]

    The post City Slang: Music review roundup appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit councilman: Increased parking fines an ‘anti-growth strategy’

      There’s at least one city councilmember who’s less than pleased with Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr’s plan to increase all parking violation fines. Councilman Gabe Leland, whose district represents the city’s west side, issued a statement today, calling Orr’s plan a potential “deterrent” to attracting people to the city. I don’t believe the argument to raise the parking ticket fines from $30 to $45 and eliminate the $10 early payment fine are justification for this action. The emergency manager’s order to increase ticket fines places city government inefficiencies on the backs of our residents who need to do business in downtown and other parts of our city. And, this will increase the barrier for people to frequent Detroit-based establishments; likely to be a deterrent for some to shop and dine in our city. Leland suggested implementing a plan that maintains current rates for fines and reduces operating inefficiencies to collecting parking fines. “In my view, generating revenue by increasing fines when residents from neighborhoods must go downtown to get licenses and permits, attend court appointments and do other necessary business, is the wrong direction,” Leland said. “…Additionally, generating revenue using fines when we are trying to grow this city and attract […]

    The post Detroit councilman: Increased parking fines an ‘anti-growth strategy’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

A New Sex Friend

Unprotected sex, furfags, and a natural-born top.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


Q:

 I am a young gay man who has been so freaked out by the idea of catching an STI that I haven’t gotten with anyone for two years. But last night, I hooked up with a cute 21-year-old FTM trans boy, and maybe because it was a person with lady parts, I let caution go, and no condom was used. How worried should I be about having made a baby with a person who is way too young to have one?

— Cautious Homo In Loopy

Dilemma

P.S. He is on hormone therapy.

A:

 Here’s a good rule of thumb for all you sex-havers out there: A new sex friend who’ll have unprotected sex with you has probably had unprotected sex with other sex friends. Yes, yes, typically cautious people have been known to “let caution go” on rare occasions. It happens, CHILD. But the odds that two typically cautious people will both simultaneously decide to “let caution go” and have unprotected sex with a brand-new sex friend just this once are pretty slim. “This person who’s having unprotected sex with me is having unprotected sex with other people” is a far more reasonable assumption than “This person who’s having unprotected sex with me would never have unprotected sex with anyone else.”

Which means you should be less concerned with pregnancy — your sparkly new concern — and more concerned with that old concern of yours, sexually transmitted infections. The odds that you got that FTM trans boy pregnant are pretty slim; there’s only a 1-in-20 chance that a single act of unprotected penis-in-vagina sex will result in pregnancy. The fact that this guy is on hormone therapy may make him slightly less likely to conceive. But if your cute hookup was having unprotected sex with others — if he wasn’t making a very special exception just for you — then you’re at greater risk of acquiring an STI than you are of acquiring an heir.

Go and get tested, CHILD, and while you wait for your results, ponder this: Health workers and HIV-prevention educators tell me that the more freaked out someone is by the idea of catching an STI — the more paralyzed by fear someone is — the likelier that person is to have unprotected sex when they do have sex. Your recent experience is common enough to be a depressing cliché. So working to conquer your irrational fear of STIs—and actually having sex once in a while—will leave you less likely to contract one.

Q:

 Twenty-one-year-old furfag here. I consider myself a bi guy, I check out men and women (femmy guys and cute girls), but I’m a virgin. I have a boyfriend of three years, and we do role-play online. He’s sweet, nice, and sometimes a stubborn dick, but otherwise always there for me. We met online, and I fell in love with his personality two years before we traded pics. He is totally okay-looking, average, and I am fine with this because he’s a sweetheart. He’s also four years my senior. I’m working on my bachelor’s and trying to get into graduate school. He swears that no matter where I go, he’ll follow me.

Is this a strange relationship? I know it’s unorthodox, but is it a bad move? I don’t want to ruin his life. What if we meet and try gaying it up and I’m not into it? (“Ha! You ruined your life. I’m not even into men.”) It’s my senior year, and I think I love him. I’m certainly fonder of him than any other relationship I’ve been in. Sex doesn’t hold a big interest for me, and porn doesn’t do ANYTHING for me — gay, straight, it’s like watching a sweaty, breathy anatomy class. I’ve never even masturbated. Am I going about this wrong?

— Fella Unsure Regarding Feelings About Gayness

A:

 Maybe I’m behind the times—maybe I just don’t get this “online relationship” stuff —but I don’t think two people who’ve never met in real life (IRL) should be planning a future together. Attraction is about more than just shared interests, emotional compatibility and kinks in common. There’s an ephemeral, unquantifiable aspect to attraction, something that can only be established when you’re face-to-face/tongue-to-tongue with someone. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think you can know for sure that it’s love—a love worth moving across the country for — until you’ve tasted each other’s spit.

Don’t get me wrong: I think it’s great that you two got together, FURFAG, and I don’t doubt that there’s a real connection. One of the wonderful things about the Internet is the way it brings people with rare kinks together. And sometimes people with uncommon kinks have to go to uncommon lengths to be together — which can include taking a big risk like moving across the country to be with the furfag of your dreams.

But before you do that — or before you let him do that — you need to meet in person at least once to establish that: 1) You’re actually in love with each other and; 2) You’re actually into men. You can’t resolve those doubts until you’ve acknowledged them, FURFAG, which means a truth-telling, doubts-airing, non-role-playing Skype session is in order.

Q:

 I’m a 19-year-old gay guy in a relationship with an 18-year-old gay guy (for nearly four years). My boyfriend and I have a good sex life, but I rarely get to top him. We’re both versatile on paper, but the actual act of getting penetrated is almost always painful or uncomfortable for my boyfriend, even with plenty of lubrication and preparation. I’m frustrated because I know it’s not his fault, but I sometimes feel that he isn’t putting in enough effort to try to bottom for me.

Additionally, it’s hard for me to understand how he feels because bottoming is never painful for me, and I enjoy it a lot. We’ve discussed the possibility of me topping another guy (alone or in a threesome), and he isn’t opposed to the idea, but I’d much rather it be him. Is there any way we can make bottoming pleasurable for him?

— Ready To Top

A:

 The best way to determine if your boyfriend is a natural-born top — not into getting fucked, never will be into getting fucked — is to sideline your dick for the time being. Explore his ass, and his capacity to experience anal pleasure — without fucking him.

Get some small anal toys that aren’t designed for in-and-out play, RTT, but set-and-forget play—a few butt plugs, one or two small vibrating eggs. Pop one in his ass and then let him fuck yours. If you can take the pressure off your boyfriend while getting a toy in him, RTT, he may begin to associate having something in his ass with pleasure. If he can do that, he may be able to graduate to your cock. Good luck.

This week on the Savage Lovecast:When gays ATTACK! Find it at savagelovecast.com.

Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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