Trending
Most Read
  • Detroit group Feral Ground is out to prove hip-hop is alive and well

    By LeeAnn Brown Some people say that hip-hop is dead. Local ban Fderal Ground is proving that is not the case. The seven-member band, consisting of three lead vocalists, a DJ, bass, drums and guitar, plays what they call “living hip-hop.” Their music, peppered with multiple styles, covers all aspects of life from growing up in the D to playing with fire despite knowing you will likely get burned. Their undeniable chemistry and raw lyrics compose a music that is living, breathing, and connecting to their listeners. It has been nearly 11 years since Vinny Mendez and Michael Powers conjured up the basement idea that has flowered into the Detroit funk-hop band Feral Ground. Throughout high school the two wrote and rapped consistently, playing shows here and there. In those years they matched their rap stanzas with the animated, dynamic voice of Ginger Nastase and saw an instant connection. The now trio backed their lyrics with DJ Aldo’s beats on and off for years, making him a permanent member within the last year, along with Andy DaFunk (bass), Joseph Waldecker (drums), and newest member, Craig Ericson (guitar). We sat down with Feral Ground and their manager, Miguel Mira, in their […]

    The post Detroit group Feral Ground is out to prove hip-hop is alive and well appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Yale professor talks Plato, James Madison and Detroit’s emergency manager law

    Much has been made about Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr’s decision this week to transfer authority of the city’s water department to Mayor Mike Duggan. In what is the most interesting read on the situation, Jason Stanley, professor of philosophy at Yale, pens an analysis on Michigan’s novel emergency manager law on the New York Times Opinionator blog. Stanley deconstructs Michigan’s grand experiment in governance by addressing two questions: Has the EM law resulted in policy that maximally serves the public good? And, is the law consistent with basic principles of democracy? Stanley ties in examples of Plato, James Madison’s Federalist Papers, and Nazi political theorist Carl Schmitt. A short excerpt: Plato was a harsh critic of democracy, a position that derived from the fact that his chief value for a society was social efficiency. In Plato’s view, most people are not capable of employing their autonomy to make the right choices, that is, choices that maximize overall efficiency. Michigan is following Plato’s recommendation to handle the problems raised by elections. Though there are many different senses of “liberty” and “autonomy,” none mean the same thing as “efficiency.” Singapore is a state that values efficiency above all. But by no stretch of […]

    The post Yale professor talks Plato, James Madison and Detroit’s emergency manager law appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Where to meet a baby dinosaur this week

    Walking with Dinosaurs, a magnificent stage show that features life-sized animatronic creatures from the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods, will be in town next week. But to preview the show’s run at the Palace, a baby T-Rex will be making an appearance at four area malls to the delight and wonderment of shoppers. Baby T-Rex, as the creature is being affectionately referred to, is seven-feet-tall and 14-feet-long. He’ll only be at each mall for about 15 minutes, so while there will be photo opportunities, they’ll be short. The dino will be at Fairlane Town Center Center Court at 18900 Michigan Ave. in Detroit from 2-2:15 p.m. today, July 30; The Mall at Partridge Creek at 17420 Hall Rd. in Clinton Township from 5-5:15 p.m. today, July 30; Twelve Oaks Mall at the Lord & Taylor Court at 27500 Novi Rd., Novi tomorrow, Thursday July 31 from 1:30-1:45 p.m.; and Great Lakes Crossing Food Court at 4000 Baldwin Rd., Auburn Hills from 5-5:15 p.m., tomorrow Thursday, July 31.  

    The post Where to meet a baby dinosaur this week appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit website offers stats, updates on city operations

    Interested in reading about what Detroit accomplishes on a week-to-week basis that’s produced by the city itself? Great. You can do that now, here, at the Detroit Dashboard. Every Thursday morning, the city will publish an update to the dashboard because Mayor Mike Duggan loves metrics, even if the data might be hard to come by. According to Duggan’s office, the dashboard will provide data on how many LED street lights were installed, how many vacant lots were mowed, how much blight was removed, and more. This week, the city says it has sold 13 site lots through BuildingDetroit.com, removed 570 tons of illegal dumping, and filed 57 lawsuits against abandoned property owners.  

    The post Detroit website offers stats, updates on city operations appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Long John Silver’s makes nod to Nancy Whiskey in YouTube commercial

    We don’t know about you, but usually Nancy Whiskey and Long John Silver’s aren’t two concepts we’d place in the same sentence. However, the international fast food fish fry conglomerate made a nod to the Detroit dive in their latest YouTube commercial. LJS is offering free fish fries on Saturday, August 2, which is the promotion the commercial is attempting to deliver. But, we think we’ll just go to Nancy Whiskey instead.

    The post Long John Silver’s makes nod to Nancy Whiskey in YouTube commercial appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Michigan’s women-only music fest still shuns trans women

    We came across an interesting item this week: Apparently, a music festival with the name “Michfest” is quietly oriented as a “Women-Only Festival Exclusively for ‘Women Born Women.’” It seems a strange decision to us. If you wanted to have a women-only music festival, why not simply proclaim loud and clear that it is for all sorts of women? But if you really wanted to become a lightning rod for criticisms about transphobia, organizers have found the perfect way to present their festival. Now, we know that defenders of non-cisgender folks have it tough. The strides made by gays and lesbians (and bisexuals) in the last 20 years have been decisive and dramatic. But the people who put the ‘T’ in LGBT have reason to be especially defensive, facing a hostile culture and even some disdain from people who should be their natural allies. That said, sometimes that defensiveness can cause some activists to go overboard; when we interviewed Dan Savage a couple years ago, he recalled his “glitter bombing” and said it was due to the “the narcissism of small differences,” adding that “if you’re playing the game of who is the most victimized, attacking your real enemies doesn’t prove you’re most victimized, claiming you […]

    The post Michigan’s women-only music fest still shuns trans women appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

Calendar

Calendar

Search thousands of events in our database.

Restaurants

Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.

Nightlife

Search hundreds of clubs in our database.

MT on Twitter
MT on Facebook

Print Email

Savage Love

A New Sex Friend

Unprotected sex, furfags, and a natural-born top.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


Q:

 I am a young gay man who has been so freaked out by the idea of catching an STI that I haven’t gotten with anyone for two years. But last night, I hooked up with a cute 21-year-old FTM trans boy, and maybe because it was a person with lady parts, I let caution go, and no condom was used. How worried should I be about having made a baby with a person who is way too young to have one?

— Cautious Homo In Loopy

Dilemma

P.S. He is on hormone therapy.

A:

 Here’s a good rule of thumb for all you sex-havers out there: A new sex friend who’ll have unprotected sex with you has probably had unprotected sex with other sex friends. Yes, yes, typically cautious people have been known to “let caution go” on rare occasions. It happens, CHILD. But the odds that two typically cautious people will both simultaneously decide to “let caution go” and have unprotected sex with a brand-new sex friend just this once are pretty slim. “This person who’s having unprotected sex with me is having unprotected sex with other people” is a far more reasonable assumption than “This person who’s having unprotected sex with me would never have unprotected sex with anyone else.”

Which means you should be less concerned with pregnancy — your sparkly new concern — and more concerned with that old concern of yours, sexually transmitted infections. The odds that you got that FTM trans boy pregnant are pretty slim; there’s only a 1-in-20 chance that a single act of unprotected penis-in-vagina sex will result in pregnancy. The fact that this guy is on hormone therapy may make him slightly less likely to conceive. But if your cute hookup was having unprotected sex with others — if he wasn’t making a very special exception just for you — then you’re at greater risk of acquiring an STI than you are of acquiring an heir.

Go and get tested, CHILD, and while you wait for your results, ponder this: Health workers and HIV-prevention educators tell me that the more freaked out someone is by the idea of catching an STI — the more paralyzed by fear someone is — the likelier that person is to have unprotected sex when they do have sex. Your recent experience is common enough to be a depressing cliché. So working to conquer your irrational fear of STIs—and actually having sex once in a while—will leave you less likely to contract one.

Q:

 Twenty-one-year-old furfag here. I consider myself a bi guy, I check out men and women (femmy guys and cute girls), but I’m a virgin. I have a boyfriend of three years, and we do role-play online. He’s sweet, nice, and sometimes a stubborn dick, but otherwise always there for me. We met online, and I fell in love with his personality two years before we traded pics. He is totally okay-looking, average, and I am fine with this because he’s a sweetheart. He’s also four years my senior. I’m working on my bachelor’s and trying to get into graduate school. He swears that no matter where I go, he’ll follow me.

Is this a strange relationship? I know it’s unorthodox, but is it a bad move? I don’t want to ruin his life. What if we meet and try gaying it up and I’m not into it? (“Ha! You ruined your life. I’m not even into men.”) It’s my senior year, and I think I love him. I’m certainly fonder of him than any other relationship I’ve been in. Sex doesn’t hold a big interest for me, and porn doesn’t do ANYTHING for me — gay, straight, it’s like watching a sweaty, breathy anatomy class. I’ve never even masturbated. Am I going about this wrong?

— Fella Unsure Regarding Feelings About Gayness

A:

 Maybe I’m behind the times—maybe I just don’t get this “online relationship” stuff —but I don’t think two people who’ve never met in real life (IRL) should be planning a future together. Attraction is about more than just shared interests, emotional compatibility and kinks in common. There’s an ephemeral, unquantifiable aspect to attraction, something that can only be established when you’re face-to-face/tongue-to-tongue with someone. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think you can know for sure that it’s love—a love worth moving across the country for — until you’ve tasted each other’s spit.

Don’t get me wrong: I think it’s great that you two got together, FURFAG, and I don’t doubt that there’s a real connection. One of the wonderful things about the Internet is the way it brings people with rare kinks together. And sometimes people with uncommon kinks have to go to uncommon lengths to be together — which can include taking a big risk like moving across the country to be with the furfag of your dreams.

But before you do that — or before you let him do that — you need to meet in person at least once to establish that: 1) You’re actually in love with each other and; 2) You’re actually into men. You can’t resolve those doubts until you’ve acknowledged them, FURFAG, which means a truth-telling, doubts-airing, non-role-playing Skype session is in order.

Q:

 I’m a 19-year-old gay guy in a relationship with an 18-year-old gay guy (for nearly four years). My boyfriend and I have a good sex life, but I rarely get to top him. We’re both versatile on paper, but the actual act of getting penetrated is almost always painful or uncomfortable for my boyfriend, even with plenty of lubrication and preparation. I’m frustrated because I know it’s not his fault, but I sometimes feel that he isn’t putting in enough effort to try to bottom for me.

Additionally, it’s hard for me to understand how he feels because bottoming is never painful for me, and I enjoy it a lot. We’ve discussed the possibility of me topping another guy (alone or in a threesome), and he isn’t opposed to the idea, but I’d much rather it be him. Is there any way we can make bottoming pleasurable for him?

— Ready To Top

A:

 The best way to determine if your boyfriend is a natural-born top — not into getting fucked, never will be into getting fucked — is to sideline your dick for the time being. Explore his ass, and his capacity to experience anal pleasure — without fucking him.

Get some small anal toys that aren’t designed for in-and-out play, RTT, but set-and-forget play—a few butt plugs, one or two small vibrating eggs. Pop one in his ass and then let him fuck yours. If you can take the pressure off your boyfriend while getting a toy in him, RTT, he may begin to associate having something in his ass with pleasure. If he can do that, he may be able to graduate to your cock. Good luck.

This week on the Savage Lovecast:When gays ATTACK! Find it at savagelovecast.com.

Find Dan Savage’s weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus
We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus