Savage Love
Probing questions
Some quick questions from a 16-year-old and more
Published: September 14, 2011
But there's this one waiter, barista, bartender or whatever who works in a place near my office — I'm not going to say exactly what he does — who, having already gone in for full tattoo sleeves on both arms, recently stuck a pair of plugs in his earlobes. His plugs are moderately sized, but I worry that they're going to get bigger and bigger until this boy — who's just so damn lovely — turns his earlobes into earlabia. (That's what they look like when people walk around without the plugs in.)
They're not my ears, I realize, and this boy, like all the other hipster boys, can do what he likes with his own earlobes. But earlabia don't look good on anybody. Please make a note of it, hipster boys.
Q:
I'm a 20-year-old female girl. I'm sure you've addressed this qualm many times: I'm wondering if it's bad that I use porn to masturbate. I can pleasure myself without porn, but I enjoy it more when I do. I feel bad after I do it. Is it bad? Should I stop? —Worried Porn Girl
A:
Not bad, WPG, don't stop.
You should, however, be a conscientious female girl porn consumer. Superstar sex writer Violet Blue does an amazing job covering and uncovering porn that's nonexploitative and female-girl-positive and female-girl-created, WPG, and reading Violet will help cure you of that niggling case of postorgasmic porn shame you've got. (For the record: Straight porn created by and for men can be female-girl-positive too.) Read Violet at tinynibbles.com.
Website of the Week: gayhomophobe.com.
> Email Dan Savage
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