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Savage Love

Our 13-year-old son came out — how can we help?

Ensuring it gets better for a young one, a list of practical steps

By Dan Savage

Published: January 18, 2012

YDIW in BDSMers — and social conservatives — can be treated and cured through the application of "No one gives a fuck what you think, asshole." It should be applied liberally whenever YDIW flares up.


Q:

 I enjoyed your pieces and posts about monogamish couples. However, it's time for a Savage Love column or two dedicated to people who are in successful monogamous relationships! I have been with my partner for 10 years. Sure, we'll both flirt with a cute waiter and dance with hot guys at gay clubs, but we always go home together. It pisses me off when people assume that, because we are gay, we're having sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry. —Couple Of Compatible Keepers


A:

 That's a wonderful idea, COCK.

People in successful, long-term monogamous relationships — even those of you who aren't but think you are — are invited to send in their stories. Letters from monogamous sufferers of YDIW will not make it into the column, however. If you can't write about your monogamous relationship without disparaging those in nonmonogamous or monogamish relationships then, um, you're doing it wrong. (I told you advice columnists were at heightened risk of YDIW.) Tell us why monogamy works for you, how you've made it work, and what the upsides are. But please refrain from telling everyone who isn't doing it the way you do it that they're doing it wrong. That's my job.


Confidential to Canada's unknown lawyer: Next time there's a legal hiccup in the fair application of Canada's marriage laws where same-sex couple are concerned, let's err on the side of not declaring thousands of same-sex marriages — mine included — to be "invalid," shall we? Let's skip the shitstorm next time and jump right to the fair and just resolution.

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