Savage Love
Opening up
The plain truth about nonmonogamy
Published: June 1, 2011
Perhaps I'm being too hard on you, ATTW. Your letter — reproduced here in its entirety — is all I had to go on. For all I know, your wife is one of those lousy spouses who abandon routine physical maintenance once the first kid arrives, because, hey, now you're stuck! Forgoing routine physical maintenance is the mother of all take-you-for-granted moves, one that quickly kills desire and slowly smothers love, and it can constitute grounds for cheating or leaving. (Normal and natural aging, health issues that make routine maintenance impossible, etc., do not by themselves constitute grounds for cheating or leaving.) But it's too soon to know if your wife is one of those lousy take-you-for-granted spouses, ATTW, as your daughter is still an infant.
Masturbate, help out, make sure your wife has the free time she needs to take care of herself, and you may find that you don't have to be any sort of shit.
Q: I'm writing about the "Choicer Challenge" you've issued to all the bigots out there who say that being gay is a choice. I think you've set yourself up for a possible failure here, Dan.
I'm a straight guy. I am also a stubborn motherfucker. If I were one of those choicers, Dan, I would suck your dick just to win the argument. That's why the Choicer Challenge should say that they have to suck you off while maintaining a glass-cutting boner. I could probably will myself to blow you to prove a point, but willing myself to get hard during it? Not possible! —Bone Machine
A: Good point, BM. The Choicer Challenge is hereby amended to include the production of a glass-cutting boner while blowing me. I'm waiting for your call, John "Choicer" Cummins.
> Email Dan Savage
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