Savage Love
Of human bondage
Knotty questions from the tied-down set
Published: June 29, 2011
Unlike straight married men who want to be tied up and spanked, BINDME, you wouldn't have to pay (or travel) for it. The supply-and-demand problem that complicates the lives of so many kinky straight men — there are too many kinky men out there chasing too few kinky women — isn't an issue for kinky gay men. Kinky gay men with vanilla partners have the option of jumping on Recon.com or other kink sites and finding a few bondage buddies, i.e., guys they get together with for free sex-free bondage sessions.
If your boyfriend doesn't want to sign off on that, and you're willing to hang in there, you should. A vanilla guy who's strapping you to the bed at two years could be helping you pick out hardcore bondage gear for your wedding registry at four. It sounds like this relationship has a lot going for it, BINDME, so you might want to take his word for it when he says that he'll get there for you.
It certainly won't hurt to give the subject a rest over your vacation, particularly if you've been plaguing him about it recently. But let him know, post-vacation, that while you're willing to be patient (you are being patient), you're ultimately going to explore your kinks with him — your preferred option — or you're going to need his permission to explore your kinks without him. But you're not going to not explore your kinks.
> Email Dan Savage
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