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  • The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues

    Ypsilanti police are still searching for the person dubbed the “mystery pooper.” Someone has been, as the Associated Press politely puts it today, “soiling slides at an Ypislanti playground over the last six months.” So, of course, someone purchased an electronic billboard along I-94 near Huron St. at exit 183 that delivers multiple calls for action: For instance,”Help us flush the pooper.” The company that purchased the billboard, Adams Outdoor Advertising, knows how to reach the world in the 21st Century, branding each billboard with a hashtag for the public utilize in its efforts: #ypsipooper. WJBK-TV says the billboard also toggles through other rich lines, such as: “Do your civic doody, report the pooper #YPSIPOOPER” “Help us catch the poopetrator #YPSIPOOPER.” You can have the runs, but you can’t hide. They’re still looking for you, Mystery Pooper.

    The post The Ypsilanti mystery pooper saga continues appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co.

    It’s a really, very cool idea. Paxahau, the good people behind the Movement Electronic Music Festival, are hosting a series of warm-up events, or previews, to the big festival which takes place Memorial Day weekend. On Thursday evening, Movement moved into the Urban Coffee Bean on Grand River in Detroit. While Dj AvA and Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp ably worked the decks, the regular coffee shop goings on continued behind them. It made for an interesting and amusing webcast experience – one guy was taking a nap on camera, while others supped coffee and tappd their feet. It should come as no surprise – the Urban Coffee Co. people have always been big supporters of electronic music. The place includes a DJ stand, and co-owner Josh Greenwood encourages customers to bring their own vinyl and spin on the open turntables. Not on Thursday night though. This being a coffee shop, and it not being particularly late at night, the music remained pretty chill throughout. DJ AvA (real name Heather McGuigan) includes Beth Orton, Madonna, the B-52’s, Daftpunk and David Byrne among her list of influences, so you know that she’s capable of both whipping up a storm and also […]

    The post City Slang: DJ AvA, Chuck Flask & Keith Kemp preview Movement at Urban Bean Co. appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Maid of dishonor?

My fiance's ex won't let their daughter be our flower girl because our maid of honor is an escort

 I am marrying a man with two children — a boy and a girl — and we want to include his children in our wedding party. My best friend and maid of honor happens to work as an escort. You and I agree that prostitution should be legal and that sex work shouldn't be stigmatized, Dan, but the ex-wife of my fiance disagrees strongly. She somehow deduced what my BFF does for a living, and now she has told my fiance that she will not allow her daughter to participate in the wedding if my BFF is the maid of honor. She says she does not want their daughter to think that being a prostitute is OK. His ex-wife will not budge. I am furious that this woman would have me remove my oldest, closest, most important friend from my wedding party. What say you, Mr. Savage? —Too Angry For Cute Acronyms


A:

 I say it's disturbing that your fiance's ex-wife isn't demanding that both her children be removed from your wedding party. Not because I agree with her — I most certainly do not — but because I firmly believe that someone who's being a dick about something is obligated to be a logically consistent dick.

If tossing rose petals in the presence of a known prostitute — known to her, not known to her daughter (how on earth would her daughter find out?) — is going to pollute her daughter's tiny mind, then bearing rings in the presence of a known prostitute is going to pollute her son's. If this woman believes that appearing in wedding photos with a sex worker will result in her daughter one day doing sex work, why isn't she concerned that her son will one day hire a sex worker? Or do a little escorting himself?

This woman is trying to screw with you, TAFCA, otherwise she would've yanked both kids. But this is the kind of issue that could land your fiance back in court — if his batshit ex decides to really push it — and a sex-negative judge could tear up your husband-to-be's custody agreement and place limits on his (or your) access to his children, all because his new wife is BFFs with a sex worker. So you're going to have to give way, TAFCA. But I think you should drop the kids, not your BFF, from your wedding party.

And while you might be tempted to tell the kids to go ask their mother why they're suddenly out of the wedding party — thereby making her the bad guy — take the high road and come up with an explanation that makes sense to the kids and spares their feelings ... if, you know, these kids were actually looking forward to being in your wedding party. There's a small-but-not-insignificant chance that your fiance's children will be relieved to be left out. As much as they may like you, as much as they may approve of your relationship with their father, TAFCA, a child can feel under pressure to play a public role in a divorced parent's second (or third or fourth) wedding. Since children — particularly small children — may not feel comfortable saying no, lest that "no" be misinterpreted as disapproval of their parent's new spouse, I believe that smart parents and smart stepparents-to-be should err on the side of not asking their children to toss petals, bear rings or make toasts.


Q:

 Over a year ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. I let the whole thing drag out way too long and made a lot of bad choices, and hurt her a lot more than I needed to. Three months after it was over, I broke contact with her. Six weeks later, she started calling me, but I didn't respond. One night around then I was in my basement bedroom at about midnight. She started calling me and I ignored the calls. Then I heard a knock on my window. I came outside, and she was next to my bedroom window. She came at me and started screaming. I could smell alcohol on her, and she started choking me. She spent that night in jail, having been dragged off my front porch by two policemen, but not before kicking in a window. The last communication I had with her was an e-mail in which I told her not to contact me again or I would put a restraining order on her. It's been about a year now, and I find myself wanting to contact her again, to say something like, "I'm sorry that I hurt you." I want to know if she's OK, if she's on a good path, etc., but I don't want to be her friend, or even see her in person ever again. When is it too soon to contact a crazy ex? —Wanting Après-Resolution


A:

 Never, WAR. Never is too soon to contact a truly crazy ex.

If you're concerned about how she's doing, ask a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend or lurk on her Facebook page like everybody else. But if what you're after is some sort of absolution for the excessive hurt your "bad choices" caused her — choices you didn't elaborate on in your rush to get to her faults — then you're not really motivated by any genuine concern for her well-being, WAR, just by a selfish desire to ease your guilty conscience. Either way, no good will come of contacting her. Let it go.


Q:

 I'm gay, been gay for years now, and I want to be with a man as a life partner. My problem is that I honestly don't enjoy anal, but I like my boyfriend to be dominant, the man, the boss — however you want to define it. Is that just plain weird? Will I find a man? —Worried About My Ever After

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