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Savage Love

Loaded answers

Dan pops too many goofballs but still tries to offer advice

By Dan Savage

Published: November 24, 2010

Is it wrong for me to ask my husband to lose the weight after everything I've put him through with my own issues? —Former Annie-Rexic

A: Presumably, your husband wouldn't hesitate to speak up if you began starving yourself to death again, FAR, so I don't — in my condition — see why you shouldn't hesitate to speak up now that he's eating himself to death. Unless, of course, that would tear open your food-related wounds.

So speak up. Thank him, once again, for the way he's supported your efforts to keep the weight on and explain how you're going to support his efforts to take the weight off.


Q: I am a woman in my early 20s and I have been in a happy hetero relationship for several years. My boyfriend has a foot fetish, and I have no problem doing what satisfies him. The problem is that the same is not true for him. He doesn't like sex at all, and he's barely even tried to go down on me. He has never come during intercourse. It's as if he is repulsed by my vagina. I should also mention that, unlike other foot fetishists, he enjoys being in control, i.e., tying me up, holding me down, etc. Is there anything I can do to make sex more enticing and enjoyable? —Starting To Get Fed Up

A: Have it with someone else.

Find the Savage Lovecast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.

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