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  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit’s grand bargain still needs Lansing’s approval

    In this week’s Metro Times we took a look at the state legislature’s role in Detroit’s ongoing bankruptcy — in particular, how it must approve a $350 million pledge for the so-called “grand bargain” to remain intact. And, with last night’s announcement of a significant deal between the city and Detroit’s pension boards and retiree groups, the ball is Lansing’s court now. The new deal, first reported by the Freep, would cut general employees monthly pension checks by 4.5 percent and eliminate their cost-of-living increases. Police and fire retirees would see no cuts to monthly checks, while their cost-of-living increases would be reduced from 2.25 percent to 1 percent. Under the original offer, police and fire retirees cuts were as high as 14 percent, with general retirees as high as 34 percent, that is, if the groups rejected the “grand bargain,” an $816 million proposal funded by foundations, the state, and the DIA to shore up pensions. The sweeter deal for pensions, though, it must be noted, entirely relies on the state legislature approving $350 million for Detroit’s bankruptcy.  And while this broke after Metro Times went to press, that was the focal point of this week’s News Hits column — so, it’s worth repeating: The […]

    The post Detroit’s grand bargain still needs Lansing’s approval appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Local releases for Record Store Day on Saturday

    This Saturday, April 19, is Record Store Day, and there is plenty going on in metro Detroit and Michigan. Of special interest to us is Chiodos’ 7” single “R2ME2/Let Me Get You A Towel,” Mayer Hawthorne & Shintaro Skamoto’s 7” “Wine Glass Woman/In a Phantom,” Chuck Inglish & Action Bronson’s 7” “Game Time,” Chuck Inglish & Chance the Rapper’s 7” “Glam,” Chuck Inglish & Chromeo’s 7” “Legs,” Chuck Inglish, Mac Miller & Ab-Soul’s 7” “Easily,” James Williamson’s 7” “Open Up and Bleed/Gimme Some Skin,” Black Milk’s 12” “Glitches in the Break,” Mayer Hawthorne’s 10” “Jaded Inc.,” Wayne Kramer & the Lexington Arts Ensemble’s 12” “Lexington,” and best of all, Ray Parker Jr.’s 10” “Ghostbusters.” We wrote about James Williamson’s release this week. Go shop. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: Local releases for Record Store Day on Saturday appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Hotel etiquette if you’re messy

Sheets? Towels? What do you do when you did?

Q:

 Thank you for your advocacy of monogamishy. (Monogamishness?) When I fell in love with my gloriously kinky and GGG wife several years ago, we were honest about our sexual desires — vast and wide-ranging — and we negotiated an arrangement that works for us. We encourage each other's outside crushes, and we both just want to be present while one of us is banging that outside crush. Your column gave us the tools we needed to talk with other potentially kinky folks. Thanks!

Anyway, on to our question: When one is staying at a hotel, what is the protocol for engaging in sheet-staining activities? For example, if a session might spread santorum, menstrual blood, female ejaculate, etc., all over the sheets, what to do? Is it better to cover the bed in towels and stain them instead? Are dirty sheets all in a day's work for the housekeeper, or should we refrain from such activities in hotel rooms? We don't want to make the housekeeping staff miserable — and we always leave a tip for the maid! — but we don't want to refrain from sex just because my wife is on her period! —Sheets Tarnished After Intense Nooky

 

A:

 You're welcome for monogamishamy — the correct noun form of the adjective monogamish — and I'm delighted that it's helped you and the wife negotiate successful encounters with "outside crushes,” STAIN, and I trust that you and the wife strive to make sure those encounters are as rewarding for the crushes as they are for you two.

Now, about those sheets ...

If you've booked a hotel room, STAIN, and it's shark week for the wife or a certain former senator routinely drops in (drops out?) when you have anal sex, there's always the option of bringing your own towels from home that may already have santorum- or menstruation-related stains or be of a color to disguise menstrual discharge.

But let's say you don't want to bring towels from home — which is an admittedly anal-in-the-other-sense-of-anal thing to do. Should you lay the hotel's towels down on the bed or mess up the sheets?

"Mess up the sheets, please,” said the head of housekeeping at the hotel where I happened to be staying when your question arrived. (HOH agreed to speak to me on the condition that I not name her, the hotel where she works, or even the city where it's located.) "We bleach the holy heck out of those sheets,” HOH continued. "And it is easier to get stains out of sheets than towels. And sheets cost less to replace — at least ours do.”

Anything else someone should do if they've made a mess of the sheets?

"If you want to be a total sweetheart,” said HOH, "strip the bed. Pull the sheets off and leave them balled up on the floor. All the ladies know what that means, and I promise you that no one goes poking in sheets left on the floor. They toss that ball in the cart and send it straight to the laundry.”

Where they bleach the hell (and blood and santorum) out of 'em.

Finally, STAIN, thanks for mentioning that you always leave a tip for the maid. It made me feel less alone — I always leave a tip for the maid too — and it gives me the opportunity to encourage others to do the same. Anyone who can afford a night or two in a hotel — on business, on vacation, on someone else's wife — can afford to leave a few bucks for the maid.

 

Q:

 I'm a 25-year-old straight man. One of my best buddies is gay, and I'm in gay bars with him twice a week or so. (We like to drink!) My question: What's the correct response when I get hit on by men in gay bars? If a guy comes on strong, I kind of feel bad saying, "I'm straight.” Because I don't want him to think I'm saying, "You're disgusting.” So what's the etiquette for a straight guy in a gay bar? Is it wrong to say you have a boyfriend instead of just saying you're straight? —Not Overly Concerned Lost Useless Entity

 

A:

 Guys who either don't have boyfriends or do have boyfriends but are in monogamish relationships will frequently say, "I have a boyfriend” to get rid of a guy at a bar who they don't find attractive. So be honest, NOCLUE. Finding out he never had a shot at you because you're straight will be easier on a guy's ego than having to wonder what it is you and your imaginary boyfriend didn't find attractive about him.

Now, some gay dudes will be annoyed when they discover that the guy they've invested 10 whole minutes in eye-fucking isn't gay, but most will welcome your presence as proof that — forgive me — it gets better. Straight dudes hanging out in gay bars with their gay friends? Straight dudes who are secure enough in their own sexuality that they're comfortable with being viewed as a sex object by other men? Sure signs of progress, NOCLUE. That some gay dudes will have to waste a few precious minutes of their lives flirting with men they can't suckfuckrimdatemarry is a small price to pay to be reminded that we live in a less homophobic world.

 

Q:

 I have a super-hot, considerate, caring girlfriend with a high libido with whom I share many long-term goals. The problem is that she bugs the shit out of me. She chews with her mouth open, she listens to music I dislike, and she swears at inappropriate times. I'm in my mid-30s and not sure what I should do. Settle? —Second Thoughts

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