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Savage Love

Holiday grab bag

Host of queries, and an after-Christmas miracle

Photo: , License: N/A


By Dan Savage

Published: December 26, 2012

 

A: I'm going to assume that you two are in a committed relationship, that you've both been tested and have either no STIs or the same STIs, that neither of you is having unprotected sex with anyone else, that you rarely eat asparagus or beets, that you don't plan on doing this in front of your pets, etc.

OK, DOUCHE, I feel like Santa Claus right now because I have the perfect toy to put under your tree. (Your tree is still up, right?) Go to forttroff.com, click "Enter,” search "ass tunnel,” then watch the video demo. It's an after-Christmas miracle. (For the idiots in my readership, that link is NSFW. And, yes, I'm assuming DOUCHE and his BF celebrate Christmas. But only because all the piss-in-assers I've ever known were homeschooled Liberty University graduates.)

 

Happy holidays, everybody!

Find Dan Savage's weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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