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  • Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County

    CNN has a message to all prospective landlords: Head to Wayne County! Occupancy and rental rates are increasing, the report says, creating an opportunity for serious returns on investments. In fact, after comparing the median sales price of homes to average monthly rents in nearly 1,600 counties, RealtyTrac found that Detroit’s Wayne County offers landlords the best return on their investment in the nation. Investors who buy homes in the metro area can expect a 30% gross annual return from rents. That’s triple the national average of 10%. RealtyTrac, an online real estate information company, says the county offers investors low prices for larger homes — with a median price of $45,000. “We’ve got some steals here,” said Rachel Saltmarshall, a real estate agent and immediate past president of the Detroit Association of Realtors, told CNN. “There’s a six-bedroom, 6,000 square-foot home in a historic district selling for $65,000.” For more, read the entire report here.

    The post Here is why landlords could do well in Wayne County appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit

    This Saturday, audiophiles across the world will venture out to their favorite independent record stores in search of limited releases that quickly become collectors items. The third Saturday of April marks the fairly new international holiday Record Store Day. There are certainly dos and don’ts to know for RSD — like where to shop, and how to shop. That’s right, there is an etiquette to shopping on Record Store Day and violating that code makes you look like a real asshole. In my experience of celebrating Record Store Day, I’ve seen stores use a few different tactics as far as stocking the special releases. Some establishments will set up a table, somewhere in the store, where a few shoppers at a time can flip through records in a calm and contained manner. Other places will have a similar setup, with all the releases at a table, but shoppers ask the store employees for the releases they want. It’s like a record nerd stock exchange. This process gets loud, slightly confusing and incredibly annoying — this is where elbows start getting thrown. Then, there are places that put the releases on the shelves, usually categorized by size — twelve inches with the twelve inches, seven inches with the seven inches and […]

    The post The Record Store Day Guide for metro Detroit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled

    The Detroit Electronic Music Festival, which was supposed to be making a triumphant return this year, has been canceled. A statement on the website says that the festival will be back in 2015. Back in November, Ford Field hosted an announcement party for DEMF, where it was revealed that a new DEMF festival would take place at Campus Martius Park in Detroit over the July 4th weekend. “I’m proud to be involved in the biggest and best electronic music festival in the world,” said Juan Atkins. “The future’s here. This is techno scene.” Not the immediate future, apparently. The DEMF people claim that the M-1 rail construction is partially to blame for the cancellation/12-month-postponement. Read the full statement here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: DEMF 2014 canceled appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards

    Despite a turbulent 2013 which saw Metro Times change owners, move buildings and change editors twice, we picked up eight awards at the Society of Professional Journalists Awards on Wednesday night. The big winner was Robert Nixon, design manager, who picked up a first place for “Feature Page Design (Class A)” for our Josh Malerman cover story, first for “Cover Design (Class A)” for our Halloween issue (alongside illustrator John Dunivant), and a second in that same category for our annual Lust issue. In the news categories, our esteemed former news editor and current contributing writer Curt Guyette won third in “General News Reporting” and third in “Best Consumer/Watchdog” – both Class A – for the Fairground Zero and Petcoke Series respectively. Music & Culture Editor Brett Callwood placed third for his Josh Malerman cover story in the “Best Personality Profile (Class A)” category, and former editor Bryan Gottlieb picked up a couple of Class C awards for “Editorial Writing” and “Headline Writing” (third and second, respectively). We were also pleased to learn that our investigative reporter Ryan Felton won first place and an honorable mention for work published while at the Oakland Press. The MT ship is steady now, […]

    The post Metro Times wins heavy at the SPJ Awards appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit’s grand bargain still needs Lansing’s approval

    In this week’s Metro Times we took a look at the state legislature’s role in Detroit’s ongoing bankruptcy — in particular, how it must approve a $350 million pledge for the so-called “grand bargain” to remain intact. And, with last night’s announcement of a significant deal between the city and Detroit’s pension boards and retiree groups, the ball is Lansing’s court now. The new deal, first reported by the Freep, would cut general employees monthly pension checks by 4.5 percent and eliminate their cost-of-living increases. Police and fire retirees would see no cuts to monthly checks, while their cost-of-living increases would be reduced from 2.25 percent to 1 percent. Under the original offer, police and fire retirees cuts were as high as 14 percent, with general retirees as high as 34 percent, that is, if the groups rejected the “grand bargain,” an $816 million proposal funded by foundations, the state, and the DIA to shore up pensions. The sweeter deal for pensions, though, it must be noted, entirely relies on the state legislature approving $350 million for Detroit’s bankruptcy.  And while this broke after Metro Times went to press, that was the focal point of this week’s News Hits column — so, it’s worth repeating: The […]

    The post Detroit’s grand bargain still needs Lansing’s approval appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Local releases for Record Store Day on Saturday

    This Saturday, April 19, is Record Store Day, and there is plenty going on in metro Detroit and Michigan. Of special interest to us is Chiodos’ 7” single “R2ME2/Let Me Get You A Towel,” Mayer Hawthorne & Shintaro Skamoto’s 7” “Wine Glass Woman/In a Phantom,” Chuck Inglish & Action Bronson’s 7” “Game Time,” Chuck Inglish & Chance the Rapper’s 7” “Glam,” Chuck Inglish & Chromeo’s 7” “Legs,” Chuck Inglish, Mac Miller & Ab-Soul’s 7” “Easily,” James Williamson’s 7” “Open Up and Bleed/Gimme Some Skin,” Black Milk’s 12” “Glitches in the Break,” Mayer Hawthorne’s 10” “Jaded Inc.,” Wayne Kramer & the Lexington Arts Ensemble’s 12” “Lexington,” and best of all, Ray Parker Jr.’s 10” “Ghostbusters.” We wrote about James Williamson’s release this week. Go shop. Follow @City_Slang

    The post City Slang: Local releases for Record Store Day on Saturday appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Savage Love

Holiday grab bag

Host of queries, and an after-Christmas miracle

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Q: I just started an intense relationship with a guy who has a boyfriend. This guy and I love each other. However, he is uncomfortable with me meeting his boyfriend. I've asked if it's OK that we're fucking, and he said they're in an open relationship so it's OK. I asked if it's OK that we're in love, and he said yes. So why the secrecy? My lover's only explanation is that his boyfriend doesn't want to know about the guys he fucks around with. The whole situation is starting to make me uneasy. I can't figure out why I want to know more about his boyfriend. Is it so I can verify that he's not cheating, or that jealousy is an issue for them and that's why I can't meet him? I do know that I wish my lover would be more open with me. Should I just relax? —The Other Person

 

A: Monogamous couples have one rule about fucking other people — "don't fuck other people” — but nonmonogamous couples have all sorts of different rules, TOP, and sometimes a particular couple's particular rules make it hard for a third to verify that the partnered person he's sleeping with is, in fact, in an honest and healthy open relationship.

That said, most couples with a "don't want to know about the other people you're fucking” rule — and that's a pretty common rule — also have a rule against getting emotionally involved with the other people they're fucking. So if it's against the rules for the guy you're seeing to introduce his boy-on-the-side to his boyfriend, TOP, odds are good that swapping "I love yous” with his boy-on-the-side is against the rules too.

Someone is being lied to here. Either this guy is lying to you about being in an open relationship or he's lying to his boyfriend about not getting emotionally involved with the other guys he fucks. Whichever it is, TOP, I don't see a future for you with this guy — or much of a future for him and his boyfriend, frankly.

But to answer your question: No, TOP, don't relax. DTMFA.

 

Q: I'm a feminine, submissive dyke. My girlfriend is absolutely amazing, and our sex life is awesome and really kinky. The problem is two of my friends. I've formed a pretty tight trio with two hot, funny tops. I've got tiny, manageable crushes on them both. My girlfriend knows, but she's secure enough in our relationship that she isn't bothered by it. The problem? My friends are fucking each other. They're also in happy open relationships with other women. Sounds great, right? Even though they're great friends most of the time, they definitely leave me feeling like the third wheel once in a while. How can I gently remind them that, even though they're not sleeping with me, I'd like a little more platonic attention friendship-wise?
—Satisfied Under Butches

 

A: I suppose you could sit your friends down and say, "Hey, when you two move out of your friends-in-open-relationships-with-benefits honeymoon phase, I could use a little more friends-without-benefits attention.” But there's almost no way to say that without coming across like a jealous, controlling bag of dykenuts, SUB. So I would urge you to hang back and trust that this honeymoon phase, like all honeymoon phases, will eventually pass, and these two friends will have more time for you in the future.

In the meantime, fuck your girlfriend lots and hang out with other friends. And remember: When you're feeling like the third wheel, SUB, it's because you're probably functioning as the third wheel. While first and second wheels can make an effort to prevent thirds from feeling like the thirds they are, thirds that make a decision to roll elsewhere generally wind up feeling better.

 

Q: You are so fun! My hubby is 62 and I am 52. We are empty nesters now and we love it! We are experimenting sexually, but my blow jobs don't do it for him. I've watched videos, read articles, and finally bought some flavored lube. He loves having his balls licked while I jerk him off. But what can I do about my blow jobs? Any advice would be great! —Ho Ho Ho 

 

A: My advice: Lick your hubby's balls while you jerk him off.

Your husband either can't get off from a blow job alone — and there are men out there who can't — or your blow jobs just don't do it for him. In the interest of marital harmony, HHH, let's give your blow jobs the benefit of the doubt and assume that your husband is one of those guys who can't be gotten off by blow job alone.

If you love sucking dick and your blow jobs are in no way traumatizing — if they don't leave your husband curled up on the floor sobbing — then go ahead and blow your husband. Telling him the blow jobs are for you, HHH, will take the pressure off him and — who knows? — he may relax and enjoy the blow job more. He might even get off.

Bonus pro tip: You know that flavored lubes don't do anything for the person being blown, right? They're for people who don't like the taste of dick, HHH, and it doesn't sound like you're one of those people. Until they come out with Chord Overstreet-flavored or Cheyenne Jackson-flavored lube, there's no reason you should be slathering your hubby's dick with artificial flavorings and aspartame.

 

Q: I'm a Canadian 25-year-old gay man in a four-year relationship with a 22-year-old. Over the course of our relationship, we've explored each other's kinks and been very understanding and GGG. The sex is amazing and varied. The problem: He has this fantasy that I'm having trouble pulling off. He wants me to piss in his ass. But peeing while erect is not my forte. I've tried, but I have to concentrate on peeing to actually go, and that just resulted in my going soft while I was inside him. By the time the urine was actually flowing, my dick was so soft that his sphincter was actually pinching my urethra closed, making it impossible for me to pee. He hasn't bottomed in a couple of years, since I realized how much I love it, so I'm assuming his tightness isn't helping. I just can't think of what more I can do to fulfill this fantasy for him. Do I need to just learn how to pee while erect or is there an easier way? I'm stumped and worried I won't be able to make this happen for him. —Dripping Out Urine Confounds His Enema

 

A: I'm going to assume that you two are in a committed relationship, that you've both been tested and have either no STIs or the same STIs, that neither of you is having unprotected sex with anyone else, that you rarely eat asparagus or beets, that you don't plan on doing this in front of your pets, etc.

OK, DOUCHE, I feel like Santa Claus right now because I have the perfect toy to put under your tree. (Your tree is still up, right?) Go to forttroff.com, click "Enter,” search "ass tunnel,” then watch the video demo. It's an after-Christmas miracle. (For the idiots in my readership, that link is NSFW. And, yes, I'm assuming DOUCHE and his BF celebrate Christmas. But only because all the piss-in-assers I've ever known were homeschooled Liberty University graduates.)

 

Happy holidays, everybody!

Find Dan Savage's weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Reach him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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