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Savage Love

Gold-star pedophiles

We condemn people who are attracted to kids, but then we don’t offer them help until they act on their attraction

By Dan Savage

Published: March 7, 2012

 

A:

 Sorry, OK, but you made your private life your daughter's business.

You don't have to tell your daughter the whole truth (leave out the leather belt), but you will have to tell her that what she witnessed — you behaving as your boyfriend's sub — was consensual role-play, not abuse. Tell her that it was never your intent to involve her or anyone else in your sex play, you thought your role-play was so subtle that no one else would ever pick up on it, and you're sorry to have to burden her with this info. But you're in a consensual D/s relationship, and what she has interpreted as abuse is just an elaborate, consensual game that you both enjoy. Promise to dial it way, way back from now on.

But you will have to come clean with, and come out to, your daughter — if only to exonerate your boyfriend, who isn't an abuser and shouldn't have to live with that stigma.

 

Q:

 Awesome advice to Heartbroken, the woman who agreed to have a MFF threesome on the condition that her husband not engage in PIV intercourse with their third. You told her husband that his inability to respect his wife's ground rules had probably screwed him out of any opportunity to have PIV sex with other women in the future. I'm in a nonmonogamous marriage. We started off with MFF threesomes, but I gave my husband the "no penis in her vagina" rule. He followed it to a T until I gave him the go-ahead. Now we both screw other people. If my husband had messed up the first time, though, we never would have gotten this far. —Woman Over Wisconsin

 

A:

 Thanks for sharing, WOW.

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