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The fun stuff you've missed from the Savage Love application

By Dan Savage

Published: March 30, 2011

I know I was a fool, Dan, but who was the bigger jerk? —Sad Eyes

A: Seeing as you spent the last nine months attempting to be the author of someone else's misery — his wife's misery — only to wind up being the author of your own, SE, it's kind of hard to feel sorry for you. I suppose you deserve some credit for acknowledging that you're a jerk — you did, after all, ask me to determine which one of you is the bigger jerk — but I gotta say that your jerkiness is the kind that makes me want to break out my brand-new-asshole-carving knife.

But he's the bigger jerk.

My reasoning: He took up with another woman during his wife's absence, and he allowed this other woman to move into the home he shared with his wife. The other woman avoided conversations about the future because she was afraid of finding out that she didn't have one; he avoided conversations about the future because he was afraid the other woman would pack up her pussy and leave if he told her she didn't have one. And then he tossed the other woman out on her ass the very day his wife returned, giving her very little time to make other living arrangements.

That makes him the bigger jerk, in my opinion. You both deserve new assholes — but he deserves a slightly bigger one.

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