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  • Metro Times seeking stories of college sexual assault

    The Metro Times is looking to hear your experiences will sexual assault on a Michigan college campus — from anything to how many sexual assault prevention programs, rape kits or crisis centers you may have had access to, to how the administration or local law enforcement handled your experience. If you, or anyone you know might be interested in talking to a reporter at the Metro Times, please email us at college@metrotimes.com.

    The post Metro Times seeking stories of college sexual assault appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Get ready for National Tequila Day!

    Thursday, July 24th marks National Tequila Day, and forget everything you know about the beverage. Those nasty old “tequilas” of yesterday were find for doing body shots, but tequila has become something of a luxury spirit while few were paying attention. Have you tried all the varieties of tequila? Can you tell the difference between blanco, joven, reposed, añejo and extra añejo?  If your local bar doesn’t have the stuff that will help you celebrate this important holiday, there are several bars that cater just to the tequila fan. There’s Aqua Rum and Tequila Bar in the MGM Grand Detroit Casino in Detroit, as well as Rojo Mexican Bistro in Novi, which offers more than 100 kinds of tequila, and Taqo Detroit, a new spot serving American-friendly Mexican fare and serving an astonishing variety of tequilas, more than 200 in all. Been waiting for a reason to drink up this south-of-the-border nectar? You got it. Guzzle responsibly.    

    The post Get ready for National Tequila Day! appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • DWSD to host water fair in wake of 15 day moratorium on Detroit water shutoffs

    In light of worldwide attention on its efforts to cut water service for thousands of Detroit residents, the Detroit Water & Sewerage Department said today it would host a Water Affordability Fair on August 2nd to explain options available to those facing financial hardship. DWSD officials said in a news release today the fair will be take place from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the department’s Eastside Customer Service Center at 13303 E. McNichols. The move came on the heels of growing pressure from opponents of the initiative and criticism from the U.S. bankruptcy judge overseeing Detroit’s Chapter 9 case. “Every customer that has come to DWSD with a legitimate financial hardship has not had their water service terminated,” said Darryl Latimer, DWSD deputy director, in a statement. “In cases where the water has been shut off, it’s been restored. We keep hearing at DWSD that there are poor people who are not receiving the assistance that they need, so we want to help them and we want to make it as easy as possible for the to receive that help. That’s why we created the Water Affordability Fair – ease of access and ease of assistance. We are here to […]

    The post DWSD to host water fair in wake of 15 day moratorium on Detroit water shutoffs appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Thrillist Names Detroit’s Motz’s Burgers Among Best in Nation

    The folks at Thrillist have again compiled their annual list of the nation’s best burgers, and Southeast Michigan, it seems, is well represented. Ranking alongside joints in major cities such as New York and L.A., is Detroit’s own Motz’s Burgers, hailed specifically for its Double Cheeseburger Slider. Via Thrillist: There’s nothing remarkable about the façade of this SW diner… it’s just a diner, like the hundreds of others in the D. The staff’s been there for years… and so have the regulars, who can’t get enough of Motz’s legendary smashed burgers. The formula’s nothing revolutionary: smashed, griddled patties with oozy cheese and onions that melt into the burger itself as it cooks. But it’s that unmistakable flavor of a well-seasoned griddle — which has also been here for years — that makes the difference. You can score big burgers with accoutrements, but this isn’t really a place to say things like “accoutrements”. Grab the old-school slider (the double cheeseburger one), and prepare for three perfect bites of Detroit’s finest. Flint’s Torch Bar and Grill also made the cut, most notably for its Deluxe Torch Burger with Bacon. Tucked away in an alley beyond the brick streets that used to mark […]

    The post Thrillist Names Detroit’s Motz’s Burgers Among Best in Nation appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • In what weird ways are you paying for school? MT wants to know!

    The Metro Times is looking for college students or graduates of Michigan colleges that used atypical means to pay for their schooling (i.e. sugar baby, selling underwear, military enrollment purely for school help, etc.). We are looking for personal anecdotes about the lengths you went to help pay for school, what came of it, your monetary situation, if the resource worked to get you through college and more. If you have utilized any one of these avenues, or know someone who has, please drop us a line at college@metrotimes.com.

    The post In what weird ways are you paying for school? MT wants to know! appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Kid Rock ordered to produce dildo in ICP sexual harassment lawsuit

    File under “WTF” — attorneys representing former Psychopathic Records publicist Andrea Pellegrini announced Monday that they have subpoenaed Kid Rock to produce a glass dildo as part of Pellegrini’s sexual harassment lawsuit against the Insane Clown Posse’s record label. Pellegrini claims the glass dildo was given to her by Psychopathic Records employee “Dirty Dan” Diamond as part of a larger culture of constant harassment in which she was called “bitch,” made the target of explicit sexual advances by Diamond and other co-workers, asked to procure automatic weapons for a photo shoot, and even encouraged to “deceive government investigators from the US Department of Labor.” On Friday, Diamond admitted under oath that he told Pellegrini that he had “a fat cock” and that he would “fuck the shit out of her.” The dildo, though, was “a work of art,” according to Diamond, and should not be considered sexual harassment. Why is Kid Rock involved? Diamond says when Pellegrini declined his dildo, he gave it to Kid Rock instead (presumably as a “work of art” and not a sexual advance). So now, according to court orders, Rock has 14 days to produce the glass dildo so the court can better determine if it is art or, well, a dildo. We will […]

    The post Kid Rock ordered to produce dildo in ICP sexual harassment lawsuit appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Culture Feature

Town Mouse Portaging

A city dweller’s guide to surviving — and enjoying — a canoe trip among the great outdoors.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A

The majesty of Algonquin Provincial Park in Ontario reminds us nature is awesome.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A

Me and my brother-in-law, Mark, rowin’ down the river.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


The first summer after I got married, when relations with my brothers- and sisters-in-law were still coalescing, I was invited to join my wife’s older brother Mark and two of his buddies on their annual portaging pilgrimage up north. I thought it was a nice gesture and since Mark had recently moved from Detroit to South Florida with his family, I felt it would be a good opportunity to hang out and establish a friendship. The offer, which came packaged in a broader conversation about summer camp, was accepted as casually as it was tendered — more as an aside than intentional.

After hanging up the phone and sharing the news with my wife, she was excited and somewhat surprised by my acceptance. When I asked about the surprise part, she answered my question by asking a question: “You do know what portaging is, right?” Indignantly, I replied, “Of course I do  — (pause) — not know what that is, but I’ll look it up.”

I consulting my bible — the dictionary: “Portaging is the practice of carrying a watercraft over land, between two bodies of water.”

No need for self-actualization on that one; I’m a town mouse, not a country mouse. I didn’t grow up in a family where lakes and fishing, canoes or campers were a holiday du jour. I could order you a tequila popper, or ask for the bathroom in Spanish by age 12, but carrying a watercraft over land seemed more foreign than a beach in Acapulco. What the hell kind of “watercraft” could be carried, anyway?!

As the vacation drew near, I conducted a serious inventory of the things one would need on such a trip. I realized, with only days left before departure, I was kind of screwed. I did, however, have a descent rucksack.

It’s not that the idea of “roughing it” was a foreign concept. Having backpacked across much of continental Europe, I’ve stayed in shitholes that would make any pup tent seem luxurious. Yet, the thought of relieving myself in a hand-dug latrine seemed more gross than serene.

Mark, my still newish brother-in-law, arrived from Ft. Lauderdale to Detroit the morning of our watercraft-carrying adventure. By that evening I got the on-deck call, letting me know he was headed to my house, after which we would hook up with his buddies and hit the road.

I concede: I was sweating it big time. I had no idea what to expect, nor did I know the guys I would be dependent on to ensure I didn’t drown or get eaten by God-knows whatever resided in the woods. I did take some comfort that: No. 1 … I was married to Mark’s sister, so he was somewhat obligated to guarantee she didn’t become a widow, and; No. 2 … even though these dudes were country mice, they weren’t country bumpkins. Mark is a cardiologist, and his two buddies: a neurologist and a custom-home builder. I figured, at worst, I was going into the backwoods with two physicians and an expert in construction.

Mark came over around 10:30 p.m.all geared up — bandana on his head — and psyched to get on the road. First we had to grab his buddies, both of whom lived in, or adjacent to, my neighborhood; then the market — to stock up on “provisions.”

I thought, “provisions, holy shit … how could I be going somewhere I would need ‘provisions!’”

“Awesome,” I said. “Let’s go get … those.”

So, at 11-something p.m., there we were, four portaging fools walking up and down the food aisles at Meijer’s, that venerable Detroit-area sanctuary for 24-hour shopping where worlds collide in commonality during the late night procurement window: Packs of drunken teens, one of whom inevitably ends up puking down the cereal aisle; drug tweekers, their carts filled with half-used cans of whipped cream; and, for me always the most curious — the couple with that wide-awake, pajama-clad toddler, strolling along and buying produce or frozen TV dinners.

Mark and his buddies were bananas excited. The three of them, all a high school epoch older than me, had been taking this trip together for years; one was his grad school roomate and the other his best friend from childhood.

The guys explained that we had to be selective in what we bought since everything we purchased would have to be carried by a member of our group. I decided to hang back, letting the experts decide our menu.

We got small things, like cans of tuna, boxes of add-water-only meal “helpers” and various other foodstuffs that seemed slightly one step above the freeze-dried crap sporting goods stores carry for campers.

The consensus among the experts was that the “special” meal, meaning the one not found in box or can, would be enjoyed that first night, since perishables were a luxury that wouldn’t keep beyond Day No. 1. Apparently, steaks were de rigueur — I was a vegetarian; I grabbed a can of soda.

Land Lubber’s Launch

Getting on the road sometime after midnight, we drove northeast toward Sarnia and the Bluewater Bridge, which would be our gateway to Canada. We were headed to Algonquin Provincial Park in Ontario, which is 240 miles northeast of Toronto and, as described by Mark, is as close to Eden as we mortals can hope to get.

Thankfully, I was able to knock off in the backseat for nearly the entire drive, waking up as dawn was breaking — I’m not a fan of long car rides.

After more than seven hours en route, we approached one of the park’s entrance gates. Several kilometers of winding road later we reached the outfitter’s lodge. “Holy cow,” I thought, “this is real.”

We secured the rental of two canoes for our 5-day, 4-night adventure and, within 30 minutes of arrival, the four of us paired up and launched from the docks.

“This isn’t so bad,” I thought. It was actually pretty decent. Two or three hours later, of course, the novelty of paddling along miles of nautical waterway toward our first camp waned. It was sometime around noon when we pulled up toward the shore.

We hopped out of the canoes, dragged the watercraft onto the beach, and found a clearing by the water’s edge that was suitable to make camp.

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To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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