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  • Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor

    Detroit home-girl Lily Tomlin will perform at the Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor on Saturday, June 14. A press release reads, “Get together with Lily Tomlin for an unforgettable night of fun and sidesplitting laughter. “Tomlin is amazing” The NY Times and “as always a revelation.” The New Yorker This unique comic artist takes her audience on what the Washington Post calls a “wise and howlingly funny” trip with more than a dozen of her timeless characters—from Ernestine to Mrs. Beasley to Edith Ann.” “With astounding skill and energy, Tomlin zaps through the channels like a human remote control. Using a fantastic range of voices, gestures and movements, she conjures up the cast of characters with all the apparent ease of a magician pulling a whole menagerie of animals from a single hat.” NY Daily News “Her gentle touch is as comforting as it is edifying.” NY Time Out She has “made the one-person show the daring, irreverent art form it is today.” Newsweek Her long list of awards includes: a Grammy; two Tonys; six Emmys; an Oscar nomination; two Peabodys; and the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Find more info here. Follow @City_Slang

    The post Lily Tomlin coming to Ann Arbor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor

    The Detroit Metro Times, Detroit’s award-winning alternative weekly media company, is proud to announce the recent hire of Valerie Vande Panne as Editor-in-Chief. An award-winning independent journalist and Michigan native, Vande Panne’s work has appeared in Crain’s Detroit Business, The Daily Beast, and Salon, among other publications. Previously, Vande Panne attended Harvard University and was a regular contributor to The Boston Phoenix, and a news editor of High Times magazine. She has spent years covering drug policy among other subjects, including the environment, culture, lifestyle, extreme sports, and academia. “Valerie understands our business and what we expect to accomplish in Detroit. She has an excellent sense for stories that will move our readers, as well as experience with balancing print and digital content. I’m excited to have her at the paper and trust her leadership as we move forward,” said Detroit Metro Times publisher Chris Keating.

    The post Welcome Valerie Vande Panne, the new Detroit Metro Times editor appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’

    She welcomes you when you enter Detroit, from every direction, with the one word that might just be Detroit’s biggest philosophical question: Injured? Joumana Kayrouz is deeper than the inflated image watching over Detroit, peddling justice to the poor and broken of the city. This Wednesday, Drew Philp takes us behind the billboard and into the heart of the Kayrouz quest. (And all of Brian Rozman’s photos of Kayrouz have not been retouched.) Check out MT‘s cover story, on newsstands Wednesday!

    The post Joumana Kayrouz to cover ‘Metro Times’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt

    There was a fire in an upstairs apartment at PJ’s Lager House on Monday evening. No people were hurt, although three cats belonging to the tenants died after CPR. The fire broke out around 10:30 p.m. during a show featuring Zombie Jesus & the Chocolate Sunshine Band, Curtin, and Jeffrey Jablonsky. “We just smelled smoke and someone yelled everyone has to get out,” 33-year-old Nick Leu told MLive. On the Lager House Facebook page in the early hours of the morning, a post said, “We at PJ’s lager House would like to thank everyone for their care and concern. Also, a very big THANK YOU to all who stepped up to do what they could this evening. The fire was contained to the upstairs but due to water damage in the bar, we will be closed until it can be assessed. Everyone is safe and we will keep you updated.” A later update read, “Update from the big boss. Since there was no damage to the stage side of the bar, the show will go on tomorrow! You may have to enter through the back door and there may not be a large selection of booze but we are going […]

    The post Fire at PJ’s Lager House, no people hurt appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Music review roundup

    Send CDs, vinyl, cassettes, demos and 8-tracks to Brett Callwood, Metro Times, 1200 Woodward Heights, Ferndale MI 48220. Email MP3s and streaming links to bcallwood@metrotimes.com. The Sugar Clouds’ Partners Don’t Do That (They Watch and be Amazed) (Wax Splat) is a nostalgic look at the psychedelic days of ’60s grooviness. Even the album cover looks like a lava lamp. The male-female vocals have a sort of Jefferson Airplane feel, and the songs are blessed with both sugary sweet pop melodies and a garage-y earthiness. The story of the band’s formation is rather interesting; the two vocalists, Greg and Melissa Host, are a divorced couple who wrote the songs in their living room. The band is still together, so this divorce was a hell of a lot more civil than any we’ve ever known of. Steffanie Christi’an has friends in fairly high places. Her new Way Too Much mini-album is being put out by Nadir Omowale’s Distorted Soul label, and she is also a regular feature on Jessica Care Moore’s Black Women Rock revue. Maybe the choice of cover image isn’t the best – she looks a bit like a Tina Turner tribute act here. But that can and should be […]

    The post City Slang: Music review roundup appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit councilman: Increased parking fines an ‘anti-growth strategy’

      There’s at least one city councilmember who’s less than pleased with Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr’s plan to increase all parking violation fines. Councilman Gabe Leland, whose district represents the city’s west side, issued a statement today, calling Orr’s plan a potential “deterrent” to attracting people to the city. I don’t believe the argument to raise the parking ticket fines from $30 to $45 and eliminate the $10 early payment fine are justification for this action. The emergency manager’s order to increase ticket fines places city government inefficiencies on the backs of our residents who need to do business in downtown and other parts of our city. And, this will increase the barrier for people to frequent Detroit-based establishments; likely to be a deterrent for some to shop and dine in our city. Leland suggested implementing a plan that maintains current rates for fines and reduces operating inefficiencies to collecting parking fines. “In my view, generating revenue by increasing fines when residents from neighborhoods must go downtown to get licenses and permits, attend court appointments and do other necessary business, is the wrong direction,” Leland said. “…Additionally, generating revenue using fines when we are trying to grow this city and attract […]

    The post Detroit councilman: Increased parking fines an ‘anti-growth strategy’ appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Culture Feature

Surviving Summer in the City

A guide for those who hate the season.

Photo: N/A, License: N/A

Photo: N/A, License: N/A

Photo: N/A, License: N/A

Photo: N/A, License: N/A


For some of us, summer is our least favorite season; actually, we hate it. We hate the heat, the humidity so high it turns the air to soup. We hate all the people who come piling out of their houses to gather, drunkenly, at festivals, sporting events and outdoor concerts. They complain about how dirty the city is while breaking beer bottles on the ground, vomiting in the street and pissing in alleyways. Kids are out of school and overtake many activities that are an adult swim any other time of the year, like going to the movies. Yuk. Children. They are worse than the drunks.

So how do those of us who hate the summer survive yet another sweaty season in the city? Well, here are a few things to help ease the pain of sweat-soaked pants, sticking to your thighs.

 

First, it’s hot and uncomfortable and you don’t have air conditioning, so where do you go to cool off? Well, you also need to eat, so why not kill two birds with one stone: Head over to Bozek’s in Hamtramck. They don’t just have a butcher counter, they have a butcher room. It’s refrigerated. Hang out in there for a couple of hours, carefully considering each piece of meat and soak up as much refrigeration as you can.

The movies are another great way to enjoy some air-conditioning. Too bad the movies out this summer are all turds. All the chain theaters will be crawling with children anyway. Children running in the aisle, crying through important, quiet scenes, flagrantly disregarding theater rules by talking on their cell phones.

Skip the whole mess and go somewhere and see something that no child would be interested in:

THE REDFORD THEATRE has two great features playing this summer. First up, Alfred Hitchcock’s 1946 film, Notorious. This is a black and white film, which is like kryptonite to children. The film stars Cary Grant, Ingrid Bergman and Claude Rains. It’s a gripping thriller about three people whose lives become intimately entangled during an espionage operation. It’s playing at 8 p.m., July 26 and; 2 p.m. or 8 p.m., July 27.

The other great child kryptonite movie playing this summer at the Redford is The Long, Long Trailer, starring comedy duo Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. The two play newlyweds who spend the $5,345 they were saving for a house on a 36-foot mobile home. This thrifty plan turns out to be a real money pit as one hilarious disaster after another befalls the them while traveling across the country. See it at 8 p.m., August 9; or at 2 p.m. or 8 p.m., August 10.

If you prefer watching movies at home on the couch whilst in your underpants, then check out these movies currently on Netflix instant watch.

The Thing (1982): Take your mind off the sweltering heat outside and hang out with a young Kurt Russell and the gang at an Antarctic research station. If it weren’t for the terrifying, shape-shifting alien woken by a Norwegian research team that goes on a murderous rampage, it would be a much cooler location than your stuffy apartment.

Summer School (1987): The only thing that could ruin summer vacation when you were a kid was the threat of summer school. The kids in this ’80s joint have the help of a movie montage to get them through the drudgery of class. Directed by Carl Reiner and starring Mark Harmon and Kirstie Alley, this movie is the story of a rogue summer school teacher who plays by his own rules and gets results. He takes a group of slacker high school kids from mediocrity to average in a mere six weeks and, in the end, he gets the girl.

Need to get out after that mini movie marathon? Hop in the car and head to the Detroit Zoo for Zoomance, an after-hours, adults-only event featuring cash bars and live music. People can enjoy an adult beverage while strolling through the zoo. Being at the zoo when there are no children around is amazing! There is no longer a two-foot tall barrier of children standing between you and the enclosure wall. The lions, tigers and bears that spend most daytime trips to the zoo lounging around on rocks and napping are out and about, some even chasing squirrels and birds that are dumb enough to hang out in the enclosures. Be sure to check out the primates first. The chimpanzees make themselves a new bed out of old socks and packing material every night, it’s overwhelmingly cute. Since there is a cash bar, there will be people who overdo it and shout stupid shit at the animals, but it’s more entertaining than disruptive. Again, drunks are still better than children. You’ll have two chances to enjoy Zoomance this summer: 6-9 p.m., July 11 and August 22; tickets are $14.

After a night of drunkenly taunting animals at the zoo (I mean watching other people drunkenly taunt animals at the zoo), you’ll need to relax in some nice, cool water. You don’t want to go to a public pool, swarming with children and more urine than water. (And, frankly, the urine is one of the more sterile things in the pool.) While you don’t have enough gas money to make it out to a beach, you can scrounge up the $11.99 for an inflatable pool from Kmart. It’s probably only large enough for your butt — your l arms will hang over the edge — but that will make it easier to reach for your tasty snacks and frozen drink. It’s small enough to only take about 20 minutes to blow up and fill up.

Summer in the city is no day at the beach, but if you stay away from large rowdy crowds, anywhere children might be and find some creative ways to stay cool, you’ll make it through another sweaty season. Remember, it’s Michigan — winter is always just around the corner.

 

Katherine Montalto  is web editor at Metro Times. Send comments to kmontalto@metrotimes.com.

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We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
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