Roof of a four-story building in Queens, N.Y.—kodos1, 46, straight, 65 partners

 

While driving on I-94.—The Mad Hatter, 37, straight, 41,567 partners

 

A covered merry-go-round at Put-in-Bay. (Yes, there were people outside … lol.)—L, 37, straight, unknown number of partners

 

On stage at an outdoor festival.—Savio Vega, straight, between 3 and 30 partners

 

In a church, a monastery, alleys, a movie theater.—Charlotte Baltimore, 28, bi, 18 partners

 

Twice in the car behind the movie theater in Farmington. Once was with my wife even.—RichRod, 39, straight, 20 partners, not counting blow jobs

 

Playground jungle gym. Yes, there were children playing on the swingset less than 100 yards away.—CAC, 25, straight, 30+ partners

 

Back row of a Greyhound bus from Reno to L.A.—the bear from jellystone, 46, straight, number of partners in the triple digits

 

My bedroom. I’m homeless.—Jesse, 22, straight, 1 if you count myself partners

 

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What’s your most embarrassing sexual experience?

 

When it comes to sex, even Dan Savage told us once, “Everybody feels a little bit ridiculous in pursuit of sex, feels a little ridiculous in the moment, and feels a little ridiculous right after. … Sex kind of brings us all low, makes fools of us all and we need to laugh about it.” Well, our readers shared the moments when sex brought them low. Among the most common experiences for the men were “performance issues,” including “erectile dysfunction,” “premature ejaculation” and the like. Among the ladies, the “surprise period” turned more than a few faces red. And, for both genders, having the light come on and finding Mom standing there deflated more than a couple egos. But between all the passion farts and gag reflex hurlfests, a few of the stories acknowledged that, with the passage of time, these little tragedies become what they are for the rest of us: funny as hell.

 

Getting caught having sex by a vending machine in a school!—Clooney, 27, straight, 8 partners

 

I was so drunk and tired that I was unable to “get it up” to have sex with probably the hottest beautiful woman I’ve ever been able to have sex with. I had another chance later, and the sex was amazing.—JOTS, 32, straight, 14 partners

 

Too drunk to remember. One of the girls in the story told me later. It was a threesome, two girls and me, a dream come true after we worked on it for a couple of months to get the other girl to particpate. I passed out as they both took their tops off.—fun times, 35, straight, 110 partners

 

Having a girl on top, grinding me, naked, before we had sex. I came in my boxers. I was 28. It was our first (and last) sexual experience.—Joe Malone, 30, straight, 21 partners

 

Getting walked in on by someone else’s kids.—Chaz Leonard, 48, straight, 20ish partners

 

The children came home early and circled the entire house, knocking on all the windows and doors until we stopped intercourse and let them in — we were blushing and shame-faced. —Squirtz, 54, straight, 15 partners

 

The next morning, his wife showed up with their baby on her hip saying that he left his watch on my bathroom counter. The really bad thing was she told this to my mother, who answered the door.—Synful, 44, straight, lost count of partners

 

Me and my sister-in-law doing it. My wife came home and I ran out the back naked to get dressed.—Tjazz9, 50, straight, 23 partners

 

It wasn’t so much during the experience, but after. My then-boyfriend’s mother made a comment to me about how my boyfriend’s neighbors had requested that I not be so loud during sex while their niece and nephew were in town that weekend.—Jane Moxley, 25, bi, 11 partners

 

Being walked in on by my brother while doing my girlfriend on the family room floor.—Texas, 42, straight, 6 partners

 

Licking a girl’s ass and having her freak out.—Buttfun, 36, straight, 12 partners

 

When he accidentally put it in the wrong hole; the very first time that ever happened. C’mon, guys. Ugh.—waxwing, 28, straight, 11 partners

 

Losing the condom.—JoJo16, 36, straight, 15 partners

 

My jaw got stuck open.—Tinker, 45, straight, 40 partners

 

Lost my virginity with another virgin. “Um, are we done?” was actually said.—das bitch, 34, bi, 12 partners

 

Thinking I looked hot with smeared makeup, then looking in the mirror to find I looked like Ronald McDonald.—A.Non, 50, straight, 12 partners

 

Trying to get dressed at the conclusion of some “activities,” I gathered the clothes that had been tossed about the room. Handed my lady friend what I thought were her shirt and bra. The shirt was hers, the bra, unfortunately, was not hers. Whoops.—Harvey birdman, Attorney at Law, 28, straight, 33 partners

 

I had a problem getting hard in front of two very capable and hardworking hookers.—Alnightlonngg, straight, 27 partners

 

When a girl ran to the bathroom to spit me out in the sink.—Martin Rodger, 45, straight, 13 partners

 

He left the room halfway through to puke.—andrea!, 24, straight, 6 partners

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