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    The post City Slang: Margaret Doll Rod to play EP release show in May appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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    The post City Slang: Music review roundup appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Detroit launches website to auction city-owned homes

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    The post Detroit launches website to auction city-owned homes appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Tickets for Steven Spielberg, John Williams summer concert sell out in 15 minutes

    In case you haven’t heard, two of the biggest names in film, Steven Spielberg and John Williams, are collaborating to put on a benefit concert for the Detroit Symphony Orchestra this summer. In case you wanted to go- well, you’re too damn late. The DSO says tickets to the June 14 concert were snapped up in a record-breaking 15 minutes after they went on sale at 9 a.m. today. The DSO has since released this statement to fans who didn’t snag seats: Our apologies to everyone who was unable to buy tickets this morning for our historic benefit concert featuring John Williams and Steven Spielberg. Despite increasing our phone and internet system capacity for the day, a surge of hundreds of ticket buyers purchased tickets in a matter of minutes, filling the phone lines and temporarily maxing out our web servers. After a one-hour pre-sale made available to donors and subscribers at 8am, we released additional seats at 9am to the general public, including seats available for as low as $30. All seats sold out immediately. The concert program seems nothing short of top notch: Williams will conduct the orchestra as it performs some of his most iconic tunes, such […]

    The post Tickets for Steven Spielberg, John Williams summer concert sell out in 15 minutes appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Blowout 2014 schedule available to view now

    The schedule for Blowout 17, taking place Wednesday April 30 to Saturday May 3 in Hamtramck, Detroit and Ferndale, is available to see now. Visit MtBlowout.com to see the schedule and plan your festival. Follow @City_Slang

    The post Blowout 2014 schedule available to view now appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • City Slang: Trash Brats get sleazy at Small’s

    The Trash Brats hardly ever play live anymore, so each show feels like an event. Wandering around Small’s in Hamtramck late Saturday night, there’s a near-carnival atmosphere in the air. The Brats were never supposed to be taken seriously, but years on-and-off the radar have given the band the gift of respect born out of longevity. We’re not being dismissive at all. In fact, no amount of kooky faces from guitarist Ricky Rat and bassist Toni Romeo can hide the fact that these boys can play and the band writes killer bubblegum sleaze-rock tunes. The fact that the venue was packed compared to, say, a recent show by internationally known punk icons Sylvain Sylvain and Glen Matlock (which you would think would attract a similar audience) is testament to the fact that, in Detroit, the Trash Brats command a certain reverence. Before the Trash Brats took to the stage, local punks The Dives kicked off the night with a set of sincere, energetic and well-performed, if standard, punk rock. No frills (besides frontman Ron McPherson’s dapper suit), the band features members of the Junk Monkeys, the Black Mollies and the Joint Chiefs, and it drives through a set of catchy, […]

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Savage Love

Crushes never stop

Just because you're crushing doesn't mean your relationship is troubled

Q: I am a 23-year-old straight female. A year ago, I moved across the country after college to live with my boyfriend of four years. He is in graduate school and is the only person I really know here — I am working two part-time jobs, and my co-workers are either much older than me or a very long commute away — so I have been hanging out with him and his friends in my free time. I've developed a huge crush on one of his good friends, and I don't know what to do about it.

I feel really guilty about it, even though I haven't acted on it and doubt anything would happen since I see this friend only when we hang out together in groups. I'm not sure if I should tell either my boyfriend or the friend about this attraction because it would possibly (certainly?) make my social interactions totally uncomfortable and I am basically friendless outside of my boyfriend's social circle. It's hard to get over a crush you see all the time and haven't been directly rejected by. Any advice you could give me about how to approach this? —Uncomfortably Ogling Friend

A: Once in a great while, I donate the right to answer a Savage Love letter to charity. Grant Thornley was the winning bidder in an auction last fall, and the money he spent for the dubious honor of giving advice in this space went to organizations that support neglected children and the homeless. Grant is a Seattle-based career-management consultant, and what follows is Grant's advice for UOF:

"It'd be one thing if you'd said, 'I've fallen head over heels in love with a friend of my boyfriend's; he's my soul mate, and I'll die if I am not with him.' But you didn't say 'love,' you said 'crush,' which to me is something that is both surmountable and surely not worth fucking up more than one relationship.

"It's intriguing, UOF, that you don't give any indication of how things are between you and your boyfriend right now. Obviously, you're pretty committed — been together for four years, moved across the country to be with the guy. Yet, despite this pretty serious level of commitment, the primary negative outcome you see of admitting to your boyfriend or crush that you have these feelings is that it would make your social interactions 'uncomfortable'? You don't mention your boyfriend possibly being hurt, or perhaps screwing up his relationship with your crush, or causing a rift between you and your boyfriend. You're worried about uncomfortableness. It seems like you almost don't care. I think there's something else going on.

"You moved far from home — do you feel isolated? Do you feel bored or lonely? If your boyfriend is busy in grad school, it could be that you're also feeling neglected. Plus you're working two jobs — and even if they're both part-time, that's still a pain in the ass. I think it might be that you're just not feeling great about life in general right now, and this crush is symptom of that. But acting on an impulse that could make things worse for everyone isn't the way to fix any of this.

"If you're friendless outside your boyfriend's circle of friends, get some friends of your own, for fuck's sake. If you've lived in that new locale for a whole year and have not met anyone you could be friendly with, you're not trying. Look for people who have similar interests, whether it's fine art, tea-making, needlepoint, video games, rugby, animal husbandry or whatever floats your boat.

"There's a saying where I come from: 'Don't shit where you eat.' Do not crap in the only social circle you have right now, UOF. Walk the fuck away from this friend of your boyfriend's, and find some friends of your own. Oh, and if you're so very susceptible to crushing on a friend of your boyfriend's, it sounds like you and the boyfriend need to have a talk ASAP, because you, my friend, are just not happy right now. Good luck."

Thank you, Grant, for your generous donation and your well-written response... and now, if you don't mind, I'm going to jump down your throat:

Whenever a married, partnered, girlfriended or boyfriended person wants to fuck someone who isn't her spouse, partner, girlfriend or boyfriend — when a technically unavailable person finds herself crushing out on someone else — people insist that the crush has to be a symptom of something. UOF, for example, wouldn't be having this crush, Grant writes, if she weren't feeling neglected, unhappy, and isolated. By implication, people who are content at home — people who aren't feeling neglected, unhappy, and isolated — don't have crushes.

I don't mean to jump down Grant's throat ... or not just Grant's throat. This is a point you hear people — advice columnists, couples counselors, Drs. Laura and Phil — making all the time: Married or partnered people who are happy at home don't experience inappropriate or awkward crushes on others. The eyes of happily partnered people — to say nothing of their genitalia — never, ever wander. So if you're having a crush on someone you're not supposed to, well, that must mean something is very seriously wrong with your relationship. It's a symptom. Of something. Something dire. Diagnose the illness, treat it, and you'll be cured.

This, of course, is complete and total bullshit. Happily partnered people have crushes on other people all the time. Not because we're unhappy or because there's something wrong with us or because our relationships are somehow diseased. It happens because — I hope everyone is sitting down for this — however attracted we are to our partners, other people are also attractive.

So it's entirely possible that you have a crush on this guy, UOF, because he's hot and you want to fuck him, independent of your feelings for your boyfriend or his graduate program. Crushes are normal, and our relationships — closed or open — would be less stressful if we weren't expected to go around pretending that we never find anyone else attractive. And our relationships would be more likely to survive the inevitable, normal, natural crushes-on-others if we weren't led to believe that attraction is a zero-sum game, i.e., that finding someone else attractive means you must find your partner less attractive.

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