Savage Love
Cruel and selfish
Sexual assault no reason to boff boyfriend and bail on husband
Published: October 20, 2010
Best odds: Pay for it, already.
Q: I'm a het male professional in my mid-20s who wants to find a female dominant partner. Pro-dom services abound for stereotypes like me, but I'm looking for a D/S relationship rather than just playtime. Predictably, I can't find one. Women I meet randomly are mostly socialized to want dominant men, and kink personal sites like FetLife only make my plight look even direr: Nearly all the doms are either pros or in their 50s. It's a given that dominant women my age are unicorns, but how can I maximize those slim chances? —Seeking Unrestrained Bitch
A: By keeping your kink personal ad updated — unlike unicorns, kinky younger women do exist, and you want them to be able to find your ad when they troll on FetLife — and by reconciling yourself to the fact that most submissive straight men in D/S relationships met vanilla women who weren't perverts themselves but were pervertible.
Confidential to LGBT youth: Please check out the new, improved, expanded, and totally awesome It Gets Better Project site: www.itgetsbetterproject.com. And please don't kill yourself.
Find Dan Savage's podcast Savage Lovecast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
> Email Dan Savage
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