Savage Love
Can't go for that
If I won’t sleep with a MTF straight woman, am I a transphobe?
Published: November 23, 2011
Q:
I am a 29-year-old male with a fetish for snapping pictures of women's legs and feet in nylons. I look for women online who will allow me to pay them to take these pictures. I recently posted an ad and received a reply from a co-worker. I find her very attractive and would like to photograph her legs and feet. How should I handle this? —Sent From My Mobile Device
A:
Here's a relevant story from the files: Vanilla Gay pays a social call on Kinky Gay. KG informs VG that there's a Hot Dude tied up in his playroom. KG invites VG to view HD. KG is right: HD is hot. HD is also, as it turns out, one of VG's co-workers — one of VG's straight coworkers.
It was an unexpected twist of fate — HD didn't know that VG and KG were friends — that resulted in VG discovering something about HD that HD didn't choose to reveal to VG. (A twist of fate and the rules HD agreed to when he played with KG: HD had consented to KG showing him off.) While it's possible that HD wouldn't have cared that VG knew his secret, it was likelier that HD, if he knew VG knew his bi-for-bondage secret, would've felt embarrassed around his co-worker — not to mention compromised during any routine workplace conflicts with VG.
I urged VG to keep his mouth shut.
In your case, SFMMD, while it's possible that your co-worker doesn't care who knows that she does fetish modeling on the side for extra money or thrills, it's likelier that she would be embarrassed to learn that someone she knows professionally discovered what she's doing. There are plenty of other women out there, and plenty of other legs and feet to photograph. Keep your mouth shut.
Q:
I was reading a letter in your archives from a woman who didn't have much libido. I was disappointed that you didn't mention that decreased libido is a common side effect of almost every form of hormonal birth control. The first thing a woman with low libido should do, if she's been on the same pill for years, is to switch methods. I would love it if you'd mention this in your column. —Spread The Word
A:
Done and done.
> Email Dan Savage
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