Savage Love
Bored by blow jobs
Hubby says hummers are ho-hum, but what's a wife to do?
Published: July 18, 2012
A:
A programming note: People typically write to me when someone has done them wrong or when they've done someone wrong. When the bad actor in a particular situation is someone like a devotee — the kind of person who is unlikely to be out to friends and family members about their deeply stigmatized sexual identity or interest — my readers can't weigh what they're learning about this one particular devotee against what they know about the other devotees they know and love ... because the other devotees they know and love aren't out to them about being devotees. It's something to bear in mind, gentle readers, when someone with a rare or deeply stigmatized sexual interest makes an appearance in the column. Remember: GIMP's girlfriend doesn't represent all devotees any more than TIWDIW's husband represents all straight men.
With that said ...
GIMP's letter appears to have been a fake. There's a disturbed person lurking on the Web who pretends to be a woman in a wheelchair, as a number of readers wrote to inform me, and this person has peddled the exact same story before. A fake letter is going to make its way into the column from time to time — there's no way to verify every letter — and as every question that does make the column is a good hypothetical to every Savage Love reader save one, I try not to get too worked up about the odd fake question. But it is a problem when a fake question contributes to the negative public perception of a group of people whose sexual desires are already so stigmatized.
While the news that GIMP's letter is fake will come as a comfort to everyone who thought my advice for GIMP sucked, it's cold comfort for all the good and decent devotees out there who had to see yet another story about a shitty — and, in this case, completely fictitious — devotee make it into print. My apologies.
Find Dan Savage's weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Send mail to mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.
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