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Savage Love

Anal preventive

For gays about to go all the way, a primer for rimmers

By Dan Savage

Published: April 18, 2012

 

A:

 Googling "desensitizing anal wipes" got me this: "... perfect for using before anal sex to reduce friction pains and ease entry."

Anyone who's too stupid to use lube for anal sex — or anyone who is using lube but somehow doesn't realize that reducing friction and easing entry is what lube is down there to do — probably won't be harmed by a "desensitizing" moist towelette that retails for $3.99. I don't know what the active ingredient is, ASS, but I can't imagine it's a pharmaceutical-grade topical anesthetic. So I doubt that anyone who uses a DAW is going to wind up with an ass so benumbed that he won't realize he's being torn to shreds until after he sees blood and santorum all over his sheets, pillows, walls, floor, boyfriend, ceiling, Xbox 360, cats, etc.

That said, ASS, desensitizing anal wipes play on common fears and misconceptions about anal sex — namely, that anal sex is supposed to hurt. Anal done right isn't painful, of course, even if it takes time, practice and some patience to get used to. Some people do experience discomfort when they first attempt anal, but discomfort isn't pain. It's important for people to understand that if anal sex hurts, they're doing it wrong — not enough lube, not enough foreplay, not enough practice — and they need to stop. Desensitizing wipes send the opposite message.

 

Find Dan Savage's weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Send mail to mail@savagelove.net.

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