Metro Times 2014 Lust Poll
Our look at Detroit's seamy side, with a little help from our readers.
Published: February 11, 2014
Valentine’s Day is around the corner, which means it’s time for MT’s ninth annual Lust Issue, and our seventh annual Lust Poll. You know the drill: We beg you for it, and you give it to us, big-time. Your lusty answers, that is. Then we print the results.
Congratulations to Lady Fea, the author of that story about the intrepid condom that hid in a vagina, fell out, was eaten by a dog, then defecated by said dog, before being finally thrown out. Courtesy of the good people at Lover's Lane, Lady Fea will receive an erotic prize package that includes a $50 gift card and a selection of personal massagers.
How often do you have sex?
Seven to ten times a week. — 55 and still loving it, 55, Male, Straight
This year, six times. I know … sad. —313_rockcity, 35, Male, Straight
I usually don’t have it often outside of “seeing” someone, but when I am seeing someone, at least once a day. It’s good, and good for ya. —AP Frenzy, 22, Female, Straight
Celibate for just over two years. —Sweetiepants, 32, Female, Straight
Never. —baby cakes, 50, Male, Straight
Not enough. —bellafairy, 30, Female, Straight
All the time. —Big shot Bob, 42, Male, Straight
Once a week. —Grandma, 66, Female, Straight
Seven times a week when my girlfriend isn’t having sex with a Puerto Rican bartender on the cruise ship she works on. —piglets, 34, Male, Straight
Very little. A man has to be intellectually satisfying to be worthy of sex with me. —Your Sub, 26, Female, Straight
What’s the best place for a romantic date?
White Castle.—none, 47, Male, Straight
Roller Derby. You can discuss the rules if you don’t know what to talk about, you can drink and, of course, tough chicks on roller skates.—Lady Fea, 24, Female, Straight
For me, the Detroit Institute of Arts. —Benjammin , 26, Male, Straight
Sleazy bar.—Zombiepoacher, 41, Female, Straight
I’m always a fan of the Oakland in Ferndale for a romantic date. The candlelight ambience and strong drinks help ensure the night will end well.—The Vivacious Vegan, 27, Female, Straight
At home where you can get freaky and be loud!—FoxSlaveGirl, 37, Female, Bisexual
A park where the geese aren’t jerks.—Duncan Moorecock, 34, Male, Straight
My parents’ basement. —piglets, 34, Male, Straight
The Dirty Show.—LuvPeaceSexHappiness, 39, Female, Straight
The Schvitz.—The Gipper, 39, Male, Straight
What was your most regrettable date?
The date when I should have realized all of the phone calls he had to keep silencing and said were from his sister were actually from his current girlfriend. Then he conveniently said later that I might get an email from a crazy ex-girlfriend trying to warn me off of him. It was probably the girl who found out he was cheating on her. —betty, 39, Female, Straight
The dinner that morphed into a “do you know Jesus?” Conversation. The save-my-soul-from-hell date was the wrong move, dude. —sass, 35, Female, Straight
I had taken my parent’s car and drove my girlfriend to a park. In our haste to climb onto each other, she accidentally stepped on the gas before I turned the car off, causing the car to cut out. We ended having to call my mom to come pick us up. —Heywood Jabloumi, 38, Male, Straight
When I left my wallet at home. —baby cakes, 50, Male, Straight
A blind date made by my grandmother. —Boss Dog, 36, Male, Straight
Going to the movies with a guy who talked about his green eyes all night. —Candi, 43, Female, Straight
I don’t really have one, I always looked at the less exciting ones as learning experiences. —Curiouser, 31, Female, Straight
It was my first and only date with a man who I picked up (he didn’t have a car). He gets in the car with a monkey puppet hanging from around his neck. He introduced it (I can’t remember the name). He tells me he likes to take him everywhere, and proceeds to apply deodorant to his underarms. He brought his stick deodorant and reapplies it several times in the car (as if the monkey talking to me weren’t enough). We go to a movie where the monkey enjoys himself, talking through the entire movie. I took him home and never talked to him — or the monkey — again. —Dee Dee, 44, Female, Bisexual
The monster truck rally. The guy acted like a big kid. He thought that I should pay for everything and that we should have had sex. It was our first date. —Divine, 28, Female, Straight
It was a date where the person carried a gun when we went to the art museum, and failed to tell me until the evening when we got supper. I walked home in the rain to avoid him finding out where I lived. —fine china, 22, Female, Bisexual
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