"Never had an affair," he intoned. Never even thought about it, at which his wife cackled "You better not!" Never did drugs, tried alcohol just once and didn't like it. Clearly, if we want a president who has no understanding of human weakness, he's our boy.

Yet if a politician robs poor people of their benefits, nobody seems to care, as long as he doesn't wave his willie around in public.

Basically, much of this is the media's fault. We should refrain, right now and forever, from writing about politician's sex lives, as long as it doesn't involve criminal behavior or national security.

For their part, public officials should stop tweeting teenagers, and otherwise make like Henry Ford II, who back in 1975, was caught driving drunk with a woman not his wife, as they used to say.

"Never complain, never explain," said he.

That's what they all should say. Just in case you wondered, I don't even know how to take a picture with my cell phone, let alone send one. If I did, I might conceivably send naked pictures of myself, but only to those in whom I wished to induce deep nausea.

Jack Lessenberry opines weekly for Metro Times. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.

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