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  • Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers

      We here at MT will be delighted when Mr. Jack White throws out a pitch at Navin Field (at least, we hope he will), but until then, we’ll be happy with his pitch to Santa this evening at Comerica Park.    

    The post Christmas in July, Jack White, and the Tigers appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Watch footage of the Gathering of the Juggalos dubbed with Morgan Freeman narration (NSFW)

      Footage from the Gathering of the Juggalos set to clips of Morgan Freeman’s narration from March of the Penguins? Kind of forced, but also kind of beautiful. As the AV Club reports: The oft-sought voiceover champion lends a touch of gravitas to the festival proceedings. Unfortunate scenes of barely clad people having various liquids dumped onto them now carries a quiet dignity as it’s all part of nature’s majestic plan that keeps the world spinning through this elegantly designed and truly wondrous universe. Also, the video is NSFW as there are boobs in it. Watch the clip below:

    The post Watch footage of the Gathering of the Juggalos dubbed with Morgan Freeman narration (NSFW) appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Turn to Crime debut chilly video for “Can’t Love”

    It seems like the polar vortex will never end: the weather phenomenon that brought us the most brutal winter on record this winter is to blame for this summer’s chillier-than usual temperatures as well. A couple of bands, though, made lemonade out of lemons (or snow cones out of snow?) by using the icy landscape to film music videos. 800beloved shot the video for “Tidal” in some sand dunes near Empire, Mich., and this week Turn to Crime debuted the video for “Can’t Stop,” the title track of their recently-released album. Even more piles of ice and snow might be the last thing Detroiters want to see right now, but the footage makes for some good visuals that mesh well with the song. Watch the video below:

    The post Turn to Crime debut chilly video for “Can’t Love” appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Duggan takes control of Detroit water department; says changes to approach on ‘delinquent payment issues’ needed

    Detroit Emergency Manager Kevyn Orr transferred oversight of the the city’s water department Tuesday to Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan in an order intended to refocus “efforts to help DWSD customers get and remain current on their water bills,” Orr’s office said today. “This order provides additional clarity to the powers already delegated to the mayor,” Orr said in a statement released Tuesday. “As the Detroit Water and Sewerage Department works to operate more efficiently and communicate more effectively with customers, it is important to ensure there are clear lines of management and accountability.” Duggan will have the authority to manage DWSD and make appointments to the utility’s board, according to a news release. In a statement issued Tuesday, the mayor said he welcomed Orr’s order, adding that officials will develop a plan that “allows those who truly need to access to financial help … to do so with shorter wait times.” “We need to change a number of things in the way we have approached the delinquent payment issues and I expect us to have a new plan shortly,” Duggan said. “There are funds available to support those who cannot afford their bills — we need to do a much better job in […]

    The post Duggan takes control of Detroit water department; says changes to approach on ‘delinquent payment issues’ needed appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Rovers Scooter Club Celebrates 10 Years

    Rovers Scooter Club, a local gang dedicated to celebrating and riding motor scooters, will be celebrating its 10 year anniversary this week with a very special ride. Motor City Shakedown, the annual birthday party for the club, will commence this Friday, August 1 at New Way Bar. DJ Grover from Cincinnati will be spinning northern soul, reggae, and ska, according to club member Michael Palazzola. Saturday will feature a ride from Ferndale to Detroit, starting at noon at M-Brew. Palazzola says this is where most bikes will congregate before taking the ride to the city and folks will be prepping by getting some grub starting at 10 a.m.  Detroit’s Tangent Gallery will host the after party,  a special event that will feature performances by several bands as well as Satori Circus. That portion of the event will commence at 8 p.m. with performances starting at 9 p.m. It’s free to riders, but the public is welcome to join the party with the mere cost of a door charge. Come midnight, the club will raffle off a vintage Lambretta LI 150. Sunday morning will end the weekend of festivities, with brunch taking place at the Bosco in Ferndale.   

    The post Rovers Scooter Club Celebrates 10 Years appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

  • Lessenberry on the battle to ban the Metro Times

    Turns out, our very own Jack Lessenberry knows the Grosse Pointer seeking to ban the MT: Ten years or so ago, a woman named Andrea Lavigne sat in on some media survey classes I was teaching at Wayne State University. She was in her late 30s or early 40s, and seemed to be searching for answers. She wanted to know how the media work, and told me she was a Maoist. This fascinated me, because I thought authentic Maoists were almost as rare as passenger pigeons. Chairman Mao, we now know, starved to death and slaughtered tens of millions of his own citizens, and kept China economically and intellectually backward. Intrigued, I got together one night before class with her and another Maoist, to find out what they were all about. Alas, they spouted a form of primitive, grade-school Marxism. They seemed to have very little historical knowledge of Communism or what it had actually been like. Yes. A Maoist. Read the full story at Michigan Radio here.

    The post Lessenberry on the battle to ban the Metro Times appeared first on Metro Times Blogs.

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Politics & Prejudices

DPS: FUBAR Planet

Board prez zipped down. School board paid up. Now how does that look..

The Detroit Public Schools have been laying off teachers and cutting the pay of those who are left. Students have been fleeing in droves, and there's not enough money to educate those who remain.

Nevertheless, the schools, or rather, their emergency manager, have decided to pay out $650,000 because a former school board member masturbated with a handkerchief last year.

Does that crass language offend you? Does it bother you that I'm about to reveal to all the kiddies reading this that FUBAR means, in fact, Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition?

Well, if you feel that way, your priorities are sadly out of whack, or, you might say, FUBAR. Even if I filled this column with repetitions of the word fuckwad, it would not approach the obscenity of what's been done by Emergency Manager Roy Roberts, a former General Motors executive, and Teresa Gueyser, one of a long line of failed and fired Detroit school superintendents.

Roberts threw away enough money to hire a dozen teachers, and Gueyser, a person whose career was allegedly devoted to education, took that money and deprived some poor kids.

She got it merely because she had to see some disgusting pervert pull his pud in front of her. According to Gueyser, Otis Mathis III, the former school board president, was meeting with her on June 16, 2010, when he unzipped his pants and began rubbing his wee-wee with a handkerchief. Gueyser added that Mathis had stroked his oar during earlier meetings (!), but felt the hanky took it to a new level.

For his part, the alleged habitual masturbator claimed he had a rash. Under pressure from his colleagues, he was forced to resign. 

Several weeks later, however, Gueyser was fired, or at least her contract wasn't renewed. Mathis plead no contest to improper conduct in office.

Somehow, she got the idea that her termination was due to her not being receptive to the carrot-cuffer, and filed a whistleblower suit claiming discrimination, sexual harassment and wrongful termination. Last week, the schools decided to pay her off.

Steve Wasko, the longtime mouthpiece for whatever forces happen to currently be running the schools into the ground, said Roberts had approved the payoff as "the best utilization of district time and resources on this particular case."

Translated into standard Inglés: "We are buying her off for two reasons. We want to stop the humiliating publicity, and, besides, we are afraid if we don't settle, in the long run this may cost the schools more." 

This is a legalized bribe, of course, for which she will sign some sort of agreement not to sue the schools again, and, if the district's lawyers have any brains, she will be made to stop talking about it. 

But the damage has been done, and an unhealthy precedent set. Does anyone really believe that an adult woman's mild disgust at seeing a pervert perform was worth robbing poor kids of $650,000?

Putting it bluntly, how this will be interpreted by some people outside Detroit — such as in the Legislature — is that Detroiters are no more capable of running their affairs than were the racist caricatures of black legislators in Birth of a Nation, who grinned and gnawed chicken bones as they passed laws.

Otis Mathis, remember, made headlines before we knew he played public pocket pool, when Detroit News columnist Laura Berman exposed that he could barely read and write.

His election was the fault of a flawed system, and his perversion had nothing to do with being black. Five years ago, a white congressman from Florida sent text messages to little boys from the House floor, asking them to tell him about their penises. His fellow Republicans ran his ass out of town, but nobody in government offered to pay anybody off. 

Common sense is a rare thing these days, but those running all things Detroit need some.

Desperately, and soon.

 

Justice for Elio: For some time, a lady named Virginia Hernandez has been corresponding with me about her son Elio, who was convicted some time ago of improper touching behavior with a girl.

His mother believes he was innocent, and that he was pressured into a plea by a court-appointed lawyer who told him that, as a poor black teenager, he wouldn't have a chance. I looked at the records she supplied me, and had no feeling one way or another about his innocence.

My guess, and it is only a guess, is that he was likely guilty of some mildly bad teenage behavior, and he was chewed up by the system. Nobody even alleged he committed rape. Yet that landed him for life on the sex offender list, and that made his life a living hell.

This summer, his mother took the family off to the Grand Rapids area, and things started to look up. His mother told me that Elio and his brothers had gotten jobs, and were working toward getting out of a hotel and into permanent housing.

Then, disaster. Those on the sex offender list are required to register their addresses when they move. According to a friend, Helen Chapman, "Elio attempted several times to register his new, temporary address, but was told in Grand Rapids ... that he could not register until he had a permanent address." 

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