Photo: Marvin Shaouni

What are you waiting for? Derby Girls are ready to be served at Roast (Readers' Choice for Best Happy Hour in Wayne County).

Best Club Night in Oakland County
Best Bar for Under 30s
Best Sexed-up Waitstaff
Best Dance Club in the Suburbs

Luna
1815 N. Main St., Royal Oak; 248-589-3344; lunaroyaloak.com

Luna is famous for its cadre of fetching dancers, rightly priced drinks and nightly variety. Things get poppin' mid-week with electro-pop Wednesdays, where MGMT will get you one minute and Depeche Mode the next, but they go totally retro on Thursdays, when the Luna dancers twist, shake and shimmy to '80s jams. Fridays are for letting loose, and that's an easy gear to shift into with $2 "you call it" drink specials. And when cover band, Killer Flamingos, plays live on Saturdays, the place simply rocks.

Best Bar to Meet Someone - Tie

BlackFinn
530 S. Main St., Royal Oak; 248-582-9460; blackfinnroyaloak.com

Pronto
608 S. Washington Ave., Royal Oak; 248-544-7900; prontorestaurant.com

Sure there are myriad televisions vying for your attention, but at BlackFinn the scenery's mostly off-screen, all around you; babes and bros mingle hard in the saturated singles scene at this happenin' suburban bar and restaurant. There's also the occasional celeb strolling about, often with an air of entitlement. Whereas, a restaurant, bakery and gift shop, Pronto is also home to Video Bar — a thriving scene for southeast Oakland county's gay and transgendered community. With regular drink specials, Video Bar also hosts communal TV (both kinds) watching, with weekly viewing parties for shows (read: conversation ice-breakers) such as Ru Paul's Drag Race, Glee and American Idol.

Best Bartender

Andy French, Go Comedy!
261 E. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale; 248-327-0575; gocomedy.net

Bartender Andy French's grizzled, tweed swagger is parallel only to his ability to create pun-riddled drink concoctions, such as "The Pickleback" and, our fave, the "Cool Hand Cuke." The man further revolutionizes the age-old drink-slingin' gig by gracing the Go! Comedy stage, where he performs and hosts improvised comedy with the kind of natural charm reserved for a bartender.

Best Club for the Libidinal (Horny) Crowd - Tie

BlackFinn
530 S. Main St., Royal Oak; 248-582-9460; blackfinnroyaloak.com

Boogie Fever
22901 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-541-1600; boogiefevercafe.com

If you've always wondered why there's a line of people, in snow and rain, waiting to gain entry into the Royal Oak restaurant and bar BlackFinn, here's your answer: It's a centrally located joint with enough class to make even the most random hookup feel less cheap. And Boogie Fever, with its wacky dress code and retro soundtrack, has garnered attention in the last few years as a hot spot for lust-headed ladies and gents in their 30s and 40s — libidinal singles and scandalous attached folks alike. If you're hunting cougars, it's quite the sexy safari.

Best Dive Bar in Wayne County
Best Jukebox

The Bronx Bar
4476 Second Ave., Detroit; 313-832-8464

Even with last year's renovations, this Cass Corridor (OK, fine, Midtown, whatever) classic is still Detroit's most digable dive. Dimly lit, with two killer jukes, the bar is a mix of walk-ins and regulars, whose names can be found on the chalkboard that keeps a tally of drinks bought in advance.

Best Dive Bar in Oakland County

Gusoline Alley
309 S. Center St., Royal Oak; 248-545-2235

Some thought that Gus' would never be the same when the smoking ban went into effect. Wrong. Characters from all walks of life pack this place throughout the week. Sure, it smells better than it once did, but your shoes still stick to the floor and you're just as likely to get schooled from gents who could pass for bouncers but converse like professors.

Best Dive Bar in Macomb County - Tie

Dawg House
35965 Groesbeck Hwy., Clinton Township; 586-791-2773

Goldie's Saloon
45330 Romeo Plank Rd., Macomb; 586-286-6991

The Dawg House's greatness is apparent in its years-long collection of grime and grit, frightening those who don't belong but undoubtedly attracting eastsiders with foul mouths and unkempt facial hair. A 15-minute drive north gets you to the delightfully cramped Goldie's Saloon, a dark, wood-paneled bar known for its stiff drinks, cheap burgers and divey-good times.

Best Dive Bar in Washtenaw County

8 Ball Saloon
208 S. First St., Ann Arbor; 734-996-8555; blindpigmusic.com/8ball.html

Any bar that calls itself a saloon better be some kind of den of lifer boozehounds and frothy mouths. The 8 Ball doesn't disappoint. If you thought Ann Arbor was all judgmental jocks, stuffy MBAs and myriad neo-hippie hipsters, perhaps a stop (for pitchers of beer) here is in order. It lives beneath the venerable Blind Pig, but, like its bouncer's beard, maintains a distinctive look and feel, which is apparent from the small side-door entrance, located somewhere down that dark alley. It's not just a dive, it's an adventure.

Best Honky-Tonk Bar

Club Bart
22726 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-548-8746; myspace.com/clubbart

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